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Their PASing is stressing me out!

Auberry2's picture

Ok, both my DH and his baby mama are guilty of parent alienation. I have put my foot diwn when he tries to do it in front of me because I don't think my already odd SS5 needs any more psychological issues, but I cant control what is said when I am not around, nor anything at all about what she does.

Yesterday was meet the teacher and it turned into nothing more than a big PAS festival. She went and tried to get SS5 from daycare without telling anyone (it wasn't her day to be able to pick him up though, so she had to wait for the daycare direct to contact DH for permission), then took him out for ice cream and then, rather than wait for DH to get to the school so that they could all go meet the teacher she takes SS5 by herself and tries to make herself look like she is the involved parent who does all this stuff for her son and is just kept in the dark by my DH. All of whoch is BS, she doesnt even like to have SS5 come stay with her for a whole weekend because he is "just too much work" and he stresses her out.

Then there is my DH afterwards "You were upser when mommy came and got u, werent u? U only like daddy and Auberry to pick u up, right?" OMG! I dont like Lazy McCrazy, but she is SS5's mom, nothing is going to change that, and the child should be allowed to be happy to see his mother if he wants to be.

I just want to pull my hair out sometimes... Hopefully her new adventure into the world of actually being a mom will last, because her son deserves it, but I doubt she will put much effort into keeping up with things after the novelty weara off...

SMof2Girls's picture

Ugh .. that's terrible. BM definitely tries to PAS the skids, but DH is pretty good at avoiding it. He sees what it does to them. His response 99% of the time is "those are grown up issues for grown ups to talk about". It really comes in spurts with her .. her mother is even worse.

I do feel bad for your SS5 though Sad

Willow2010's picture

Then there is my DH afterwards "You were upser when mommy came and got u, werent u? U only like daddy and Auberry to pick u up, right?" OMG! I dont like Lazy McCrazy, but she is SS5's mom, nothing is going to change that, and the child should be allowed to be happy to see his mother if he wants to be.
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OMG...sad to say...I bet my DH has said something stupid like that too when SS was small. I jumped him everytime he did it in front of me.

RedWingsFan's picture

WOW, that's horrible of your DH to try and do to this poor kid. I'd suggest family counseling before the little guy turns into a huge mess. If he's bad now at 5 and this continues with BM and DH pulling him back and forth, just imagine what he'll be like at 10!

So sorry you're in the middle of that mess. Maybe suggest some therapy "to help SS adjust to everything"????

~Mel