Thanksgiving CRAP has migrated to Christmas
So after the debacle of inviting SS22 for Thanksgiving against our previous discussion, DH and I had a chat about "stuff".
I asked him, "Why are you inviting skids over? I thought we discussed this last week with the counselor. You said you wouldn't put me in a situation where I was going to feel uncomfortable and I had to compromise my happiness and comfort for your kids who hate me."
DH: "Well, I asked them what they wanted to do and SD22 said she is available the day after Tday for leftovers, still haven't heard from SS17."
ME: "The deal was, they weren't coming here. The deal was you were going to meet them somewhere and enjoy time alone with your kids."
DH: "It doesn't matter, they aren't coming here for Thanksgiving. SD22 is going to get back to me about Christmas. What if she says she wants to have Christmas here? What about Christmas eve?"
ME: "I can't answer that question right now. I will address that tomorrow night at our next session with the counselor."
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He needs to say, "sorry SD22 you aren't welcome in our home because of the way you have treated my wife and her family. If you'd like to make amends and apologize for your mean and extremely immature behavior for the past 4 years, things could be different. It's totally up to you."
He lied to my friggin face last week when he said he wouldn't put me in an uncomfortable situation. He IS putting me there EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. he asks me to have the assholes over. UGH!!!! He will hear all about it in the comfort of the counselor's office. She will point out how he fucked up AGAIN and how he's being extremely unfair to me. HE PROMISED.
I needed to vent - thanks for reading.
He needs to grow a pair.
He needs to grow a pair. Sorry he's not quite on board with you yet.
Is there any family or
Is there any family or friends you could go see? I know it's crappy to be chased from your own house on a holiday but it seems like no matter how you feel, or even advice a therapist gives him will get to threw to him when it comes to his kids. If he's hell bent on it, go celebrate with your friends and family and leave him to cook and clean and entertain his nasty little spawn.
I hear what you're saying and
I hear what you're saying and I think I like it. I really don't want an apology. It would be empty and completely meaningless. They're liars anyway. I probably would be laughing if they tried to be sincere. It's such bullshit.
I am not ready to have either of them in my home yet. But if/when I am, I will be telling DH that I will mirror them 100%. If they are polite and cordial, I will be, too. If they are rude and disrespectful, ditto here. It's up to them to set the tone of the visit. I will also reserve the right to throw them out of MY house if, at any time, they are assholes...including the passive aggressive shit they are so adept at. "Dad, I'm getting a drink. Can I get you anything."
"Excuse me skid. I know you see me here and I know you are deliberately ignoring me. That's extremely rude to do as a guest in my house. You are no longer welcome here. Buh Bye now."
I LIKE IT!
Your husband just isn't
Your husband just isn't getting it. How frustrating.
Its really hard when your DH
Its really hard when your DH is not on the same page. My DH and I have been to counseling and it worked for us (as far as getting on the same page somewhat). So maybe you guys need a little more time. Wishing you the best!