stepdaughter steals everything I have!
She is 18 and I'm 30.
Every time I buy anything for myself, or someone gives me a gift, she takes and keeps it.
She goes shopping for herself all the time, and her dad and I buy her things too, but if I have something she likes, or something that is new, she steals it.
I had two bottles of perfume, that were gifts from my husband, I used them very sparingly because I didn't want to run out- she took them both, used them for air freshener in her car. She has more than 20 bottles of her own perfume.
She once took my purse, dumped the contents into a drawer, and kept the purse for herself.
My husband went on a business trip, and brough back gifts- she took what he bought for her, as well as what he bought for me.
She just moved into a college dorm room, and I when I looked in my closet, everything I had that was cute or nice is gone. I have only some old sweats/t-shirt that she doesn't want now. We went to visit her, and I saw many of my favorite outfits hanging in her closet.
She had even taken things that I've worn only once, or not gotten a chance to wear at all!
I had to do some shopping to replace what she took, because I work and need to look nice. I didn't want to wear them around her because she would want them, but I decided to go ahead.
She came home for the weekend, and I had a new nightgown in my closet that I'd never worn- the next morning, she got out of bed and put it on to wear around the house! Why would she put pj's on in the morning?!!! Because they were new and mine, that's the only reason. Then noticed my new shirt(for work)..."that is the cutest shirt I've ever seen"....
the next day I was out and my husband called me, because she wanted to know where the shirt I wore yesterday was...
I yelled at him "I need that for work- Do not want let her take it!"
She overheard, and is now mad at me.....
He told me about it- I said "Every time she sees something that's new, she takes it" He said "That's normal"
IT IS NOT NORMAL to take everything from another person and leave them with nothing!!!!!! My husband found that I had hidden some new clothes that I bought in the space behind our bed- he was angry at me- I told him, that's because I don't want his daughter to steal them....I have things hidden in his closet, and our basement, too...
The problem is I can't use those things either, because I've had to pack them away to keep her from stealing them...
What the....
As Whitney Houston would say - "Hell to the no." I'm all about borrowing, but you better not steal my things. They can be mad all they want - they are your things!!!! I would snatch all your stuff right out of that little girls closet and tell her next time, ASK!!!!!
End This Now!
This is NOT normal behavior. Taking someone's possessions without permission is stealing, you're right about that.
I'm going to sound tough on you right now, but bare with me. The first time she stole from you should have ended the stealing immediately. Meaning, the issue should have been addressed right then and there and consequences laid out if she did it again.
She continues to take from you because your own passive/agressive behavior is condoning her to continue stealing. I'm so sorry that I'm saying this, but again, this is NOT normal or acceptable behavior.
Right now you need to go to her dorm and take everything back that she has taken. It will cause a ruckus, but it's worth it or this will continue.
Stealing is a form of control. She is taking things from you in an effort to have control over her situation and probably, over you. Is that what you want?
It's really, really important that you address this issue now. By not facing this head-on, it's causing YOU to take on abnormal behavior, e.g., hiding your possessions. That's not normal behavior to have in your own home.
Again, I'm sorry if I'm coming on so strong, but I wouldn't if I didn't genuinely believe this behavior to be completely unacceptable.