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She wont quit pursuing him

girlonstage22's picture

So my wedding is in 7 weeks. and I'm excited however this has not been the engagement I've always wanted. BM will not quit pursuing my fiance. Two weeks ago she begged him to take her back. And when he wouldn't give in, she blamed him for not trying to be with his daughter. They have been divorced for two years! And it was over well before that. So she keeps saying bad things about me and beggin him back. Today she texted him and told him to be sure if this was really what he wanted. That it wasn't too late to back out. It's not like they are close or anything. Only talk about SD. How do I handle this? Do I confront her or just not say anything? I've never been mean or rude to her no matter what she has done! Never not once and I have had plenty of reasons to. I just dont want to fight with her because I know it will cause problems with SD. Any advice at all with how to deal with this? I really want to enjoy my wedding!

Candice's picture

seriously, if you say anything you are just engaging in a fight that will go no where. It will be like yelling and screaming at a brick wall. How sad do you have to be to try to intervene with another persons wedding? She isn't special enough to have a man of her own? Empower yourself to take the high road and enjoy your beautiful day. The best revenge is living well. And if she had what it takes to take your man from you, she wouldn't have lost him in the first place Wink

Manipulative people like to blame others for their own problems. She has relationship issues, but blames your man for not wanting to be with his child. Guess what? Too bad, so sad...he is not interested in her whatsoever, so just cherish the day like it is the day you envision it to be.

Weddings are very special, and there are sabotagers out there to ruin your day b/c they are jealous. Don't let her win, have faith in yourself, and your man that this relationship is right. If it weren't, then he wouldn't have proposed.

Ignore her rants, enjoy your wonderful wedding, and have a wonderful life!

Bests,
Candice

Cruella's picture

She can pursue him all she wants. The point is he is with YOU. She can do all the blaming she wants. He is yours and you are marrying him. Don't let her get to you. She may only want what she can't have.

WontGetTheBestOfThisSM's picture

I remember those days well. DH and I would be laying in bed and the phone would ring, it would be BM drunk dialing. She would leave pathetic messages like " We never got to have One Last Time ... dont you want to have One Last Good-Bye Night??" and there we would be, snuggling, laughing at her slurred words... But, 2 years later - YIKES! MOVE ON!!!

Leslie's picture

i have been their i agree enjoy your wedding day. Dh is with u not her. Bm will be a brick wall. She will stop at nothing so just ignore her.
enjoy life. Iam!

girlonstage22's picture

Thank yall so much! It's so hard dealing with this when there isn't anyone to talk to who understands. I needed to hear this from someone like yall who have been through this before! Thanks again for helping me not stress about it!

Anne 8102's picture

One lesson probably most of us learned the hard way is to NEVER give the BM an audience with you. If you respond to her, you're just giving her what she wants... your attention, your upset, your confusion, your anger, your frustration, your pain. Don't give it to her. The only power she has over you is the power YOU GIVE HER. Never let her get a reaction out of you. The sooner she sees that she can't touch you, the sooner (hopefully!) she'll get bored and move on.

~ Anne ~

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JUST ME IN NJ's picture

We can all agree that her behavior is sad & pathetic... especially after 2 years. If you confront her, she is not going to see it as an enlightening moment, but rather her comfrimation that her behavior is getting some kind of attention... even if not the kind she wanted. So why bother giving her anything which she can feed off. Is it annoying to have to deal with the phone calls? Hell yeah, but I wouldn't allow spmeone like her to ruin YOUR special day. She wins if you do. Trust me, no reaction sometime really is the best revenge. Before you know it, she'll get tired & bored of pursuing a man that is happy & moved past her that she too will do so. Now focus on the important things in life & CONGRATULATIONS on your pending wedding day.

What doesn't kill you, will make you stronger!