Nope, I yank those suckers out of the kids head if they don't do it themselves. No questions asked. Usually we make a game of it. Chasing them around the house with a giant pair of channel locks as they go tearing off screaming and laughing. After I wear the kid out we sit down and discuss it. Then out comes the dental floss. I tie on about 10ft of floss and tell them they can pull it out when they are ready. After a while we head to a door and I tie the floss door knob with only enough slack for the kid to squat. They can's stand up and they can't sit down. The kid can squat there all day and all night but I tell them if they pee or poop that I will get the channel locks and the paddle and both will be used. After a while the kid will come in beaming with pride to show me the tooth. At least usually. Occasionally we have to do the chase thing with the 10ft of dental floss trailing because the squat at the door knob thing only works once ... usually. All you have to do is step on the floss as the kid takes off running ... end of tooth.

One thing we never have tolerated is bad teeth. That shit gets fixed whether the kid wants it fixed or not.

Rotting teeth leads to rotting gums which leads to mung mouth stench which is not happening in my house. Nope, not happening. Nasty breath and rotting teeth are not to be shared. If a kid knows how to brush but refused ... I do it for them and that is not a pleasant experience for them what so ever.

SP or not, take that kid the dentist and get the problem resolved. They can knock the kid out with some gas and pull every tooth in her head and she won't even know it. Take lots of pics first just in case BM flips a bitch. Pics will shut her and DH up if they want to take issue with your dealing with the problem.

I thought that my SD7's teeth were bad as she has had about 7 or so fillings so far, your SD's sound horrendous. Please call CPS or just drag her to the dentist yourself.

I am 30 and I have never had a filling in my life so I was appalled at my SD's teeth. And I was even more appalled when SD was complaining of tooth ache and my husband and BM took months to make a dentist appointment. They seemed to have an attitude that kids milk teeth don't need that much attention and that a child doesn't need to see a dentist until their baby teeth start falling out. I don't know if it is a cultural thing in the US or to do with having to pay for dental insurance, but it seems to be normal and acceptable that children get a few fillings in their milk teeth. I would be very disappointed with myself if I ever let my young children's teeth get that bad.

OP, I totally relate here. SD10 has disgusting teeth and I know she doesn't do as much as she should in terms of brushing and stuff. She literally points to holes in her teeth. I also know that SO knows too, and isn't doing anything about it. We got dental insurance for SO and SD this year because both of them needed dentists. SO has gone already and has some work planned, but I am curious to see if he will end up taking SD. There are a number of things he insists she needs and he gets all "I'm gonna take care of it!" gung ho, and then he NEVER does it. She needs counseling. She needs a math tutor. She needs immunizations (yep, BM was one of those who didn't believe in vaccines). She needs a dentist. He gets a fire lit under his butt for about a minute, then does nothing for three months, then something terrible happens that reminds him he should take care of this stuff so he says he will, then he forgets about it again. This often comes after doing something like Googling around for a good kids' dentist--he checks out his options, then does absolutely nothing. I don't get it.

On my end? Not my kid, not my problem.... for the most part. Do I worry that years of dental neglect will end up leaving us with some huge dental bill down the road when she finally goes in and needs a whole new mouth? Yes. But as far as I can see, that should be about the only way it affects me. Kids tease her at school? She's in physical pain? If her own mother and father can't care enough, then I certainly can't be bothered to.

Hard to say when CPS should get involved. I see some neglect (the mouth, her shit-stained underwear she'll wear for three days at a time, her obvious need for counseling, french fries every night for dinner with pretty much literally nothing else) but she's 90% taken care of and I know that CPS is already overworked with kids who seriously need help. I also fear that CPS will make our lives ABSOLUTE HELL, and I have to wonder if that's really worth it in order for her to develop habits like using toilet paper. It's a tough call, and while things might work out okay if someone ELSE made the call, I'm not sure if I could live with myself knowing I called CPS myself. (And how on earth could I keep a secret like that from SO? At the same time, telling him would likely devastate our relationship, which, I'm sorry, is not worth it over french fries, no matter what SD's lack of nutrition is doing to her.)

Hi everybody. I just found this forum today and this thread hit home for me.

I have a SD who is going to be 5 years old on Wednesday. I have taken her to the dentist twice in the last month and have to take her two more times in the next month to get work done.

My fiance (her dad, we will be married in October) got custody of her when she was 3 so coming up on 2 years ago. They were giving her a bottle until she was 3 (it must have been taken away from her just before I met her because I met her about 3 months after she turned 3 when her dad got custody and I never saw her with it) as well as put her to bed with a bottle, her grandmother still gives her a sippy cup, I have no idea what BM does other than we know she gives SD a lot of pop and candy when she has her. All that to say SD's teeth are quite literally rotting out of her head.

To date she has had 12 cavities filled, two nerve treatments (explained to me as child's version of a root canal), three silver caps, and is scheduled for 3 more silver caps in the next few weeks. The first cap was necessitated by an abscessed tooth. That's right. A not quite 5 year old had an abscessed tooth.

If that kind of dental damage isn't neglect I don't know what is.

My kids dentist was telling me some horror story about another kid that was a patient of hers. I asked her do you tell the parents that you did this to your kid ? She said no she doesn't and that its most likely poor diet and neglect. But she politely agrees when talking to the parents and says it's just genetic.

SS' milk teeth are all rotting. He has not been on excessive antibiotics as Jabba thinks most things can cure themselves. His teeth actually need to be removed. She won't take SS as she knows it's from neglecting his teeth. Dentists won't tell parents the truth it leads to them losing their clients.