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SD10 wearing makeup?

NoNameThx's picture

My MIL drives me nuts. On one hand, she babies her (she still cuts her meat for her, still washes her hair for her, etc; holds hands with her everywhere when they are in public). But on the other hand, she tries to give her priveledges that I think are inappropriate for her age.

She bought her makeup. A tube of glossy bright RED lipstick and a palette of eyeshadow! She came home from spending the night there and was wearing that. I assumed she had just been playing in her grandma's makeup and if so, no biggie. She then proudly showed me the little makeup case and eyeshadow and liptick and informed me her grandma bought it for her. Once again, I assumed it was for play...until she told me she wore it to church and out to lunch with her grandma!!!

Am I wrong in thinking that a 10 year old doesn't have any business wearing real makeup? She'll be in 5th grade this year. She's just 10!

PeanutandSons's picture

You just described my sd10 Sad Grandma washes are hair, dresses her, hand feeds her like a two yr old. Yet she has her wearing make up, string bikini underwear, high heels, bras. I think its insane.

SMof2Girls's picture

I agree that 10 is a bit young. DH would absolutely flip if his daughters came home wearing makeup. He gets huffy when I let them put on tinted lip gloss (while playing at home, not going out).

NoNameThx's picture

Glad I am not alone in this. That makeup magically just disappeared. Wink And no, MIL did NOT ask my husband what he thought. He is pissed, and we hid the makeup from her so she can't use it.

NoNameThx's picture

And it was real deal lipstick--bright red lipstick. Who thinks to put that on a kid?

luchay's picture

LMAO - me.

My kids wear bright red lippie, full face of make up, with liquid eyeliner out to here, false eye-lashes, the works....

BUT... before you all crucify me LOL - only when they are on stage.

They do have little make up kits (sd13, dd's 10 and 7) with pastel shadow, pink lippie etc, which they are allowed to wear sparingly for parties and special occasions.

But no, bright red lipstick out to church and lunch would have had me horrified too. I don't get where people who aren't the ACTUAL parents (or steps LOL) get off making these decisions. It's not up to grand-parents or aunts to decide what is appropriate for someone else's child. She should have asked first.

proudstepmommy's picture

Oh my... this sounds exactly like my DH's grandma (SD10's greatgrandma). One hand she washes SD's hair, cuts up her food, etc... then she lets her stay up as late as she wants (which is usually past 2 am because she knows she can sleep til noon if she wanted to.)

I know grandma means well, but come on!!! DH has told his gma that this is inappropriate so many times, but it literally goes in one ear and out the other. We've threatened to take SD away, so she starts putting her to bed at a "normal" time... but then it slowly gets back to what it was before and then we start all over again.

It's so bad that because we're going on vacation tomorrow after work, DH had to call gma just about every night to make sure SD was going to bed at a decent time, and waking up earlier.

*SD stays at grandma's during the week, then she is with us on the weekend... this way she doesn't have to get up at 6 am to head to grandma's each week day. We pick her up every Friday afternoon and drop her off Sunday evening.

NoNameThx's picture

No use talking to MIL. Her excuse is that she's the grandma and can do it if she wants to. The one and ONLY time I EVER tried to tell her not to do something did not end up well; she was watching SD10 shower to be sure she was getting clean and it was really embarrassing for SD10. I politely told MIL that it made SD10 very uncomfortable for her to watch her shower and she blew up at me and told me she had always helped her shower and she always would and I was nothing but a b****!

So, no use talking to her. So the makeup just "disappeared", lol.

And I don't care if she uses those Bonnie Bell things. But a 10 year old wearing hooker red lipstick is ridiculous.

Rags's picture

And of course your confident DH put his foot up his dear mother's ass for cursing out his wife.  Right? And of course manned up and removed his daughter from exposure to his idiot mother.

smh

Dc3sc2's picture

I will do dd9s make up. She's so girly and loves having her make up done. However this is as a nice treat when we are at home. She doesn't wear it when she's going out anywhere. It's just for fun like dressing up she has her own make up again only for when at home to "play" with. I don't think children should wear make up until they're older to go out (my opinion) She can wear lip gloss/balm whenever though x

Stepmama2321's picture

I think 10 is too young for makeup. Let her use the makeup at home for play but it gets washed off before going into public. 
Also this will be my SD in the future. Still has people buckling her seatbelt at 8 but will be into makeup.

Rags's picture

Gramma is sexualizing this 10yo. 

Bad

Aggressive

 

Sexualization of children has been an increasing problem over the decades, exacerabated by the hormones in the food chain that cause girls to mature at ever younger ages. For some reason it does not seem that boys are impacted as significantly as girls by this.    Nothing official, just my observations.  When I was in my late teens and through my 20s I had crappy jail bait RADAR.  My longest term HS GF was one.  I was 18 when we met, she was 14.  I had no clue.  She was a Sophomore and I was a Sr.  We had been dating a few months when her mother called to invite me to her birthday party.  That is when I learned she was about to turn 15.  I turned 19 a few months after she turned 15.

I ran into the same thing not long after my XW moved out of our home and filed for divorce.  I met a "woman" at a night club.  I was 26.  It never dawned on me that she was not legal.  It  turned out that she had just turned 17, which I did not learn for a few months.  As soon as I learned she was that young, I ended it.

Then there is my nearly "jail bait" DW.  I first saw her at the beginning of the last semester of my 11yr undergrad career. It was her first semester of college after graduating from HS.  After a couple of weeks of running into her around campus I asked her out.  She gave me her number.  The first evening we had a phone call with each other she dropped the "I have a kid" bomb.  That was fine with me, I had no issue with her having a past.  I did not learn that she was only 18 for about a week. We met a few months after she turned 18. I was 29 at that time. I turned 30 3mos after we met.

Kids need to be kids until they are at an appropriate age to start expanding their horizons as they progress towards being adults.  10.... is too damned early for that IMHO.

Is DH too much of a mama's boy to put his mother straight on any of this?

If not, you may want to find a real man rather than a mama's boy.

0o00o000o00o0's picture

Almost everytime SD8 comes back from BM's place, she's wearing makeup (lipstick, eyebrow pencil, ...). I always thought it was weird. A few months ago, I think she wasn't 8 yet at the time, her parents were thinking about making her shave her legs. Luckily, it didn't happen: when BF asked my opinion about it, I managed to retain a huge "WTF??" and politely tell him it was too early for that, and he listened to me. I don't know what is going on with people.

It blows my mind how some kids these days are overly babied AND pushed into premature adulthood simultaneously. My makeup-wearing and supposed-to-shave-her-legs SD still hasn't finished her potty training process and still shits her pants almost daily. She walks around sitting in her own poop while talking non-stop about having manucures, buying new clothes, wearing high heels and dying her hair. Crazy

Lndsy747's picture

This sounds like my SD and BM. She didn't wear much makeup and definitely not around her dad because he wouldn't have gone for that but at age 9-10 she was getting full sets of fake nails and shaving but didn't know how to do her own hair or shower properly. SD had 3 holes in each ear by 11 and got her nose pierced at 14.

I have no issues with kids wearing makeup to play even if it is bright crazy colors but definitely not out of the house. That kind is stuff makes them look older and when they're not emotionally ready to deal with the attention that it can bring it's not appropriate.

Missingme's picture

NoName, IMO, your MIL is evil and I'd never let your SD stay the night again and I would limit the access.