SD10 and hygene....
I am at my wits end. SD10 just will not take care of herself. Won't wipe after going to the bathroom (either #1 OR #2, gross, huh?!). Won't flush the toilet. In shower, she just stands under the hot water and comes out with dirty wet hair and hasn't washed her body. Won't brush teeth or put on deodorant unless you make her.
She will be 11 in October. I don't think this is normal for an almost 11 year old to just choose to be gross and dirty. I have tried the following:
1)Explained nicely to her that kids will start noticing that she smells bad or her hair is dirty, and they will make fun of her for it. I told her I definitely didn't want that happening. She is entering middle school this year and we all know how mean kids that age are.
2)I let her pick out her own shampoo and even took her to pick out a fancy-smelling shower gel. I had thought having ownership in those things would make her want to be clean. Nope.
What do I do? I seriously am totally out of ideas. What is even worse is that when I'm at the house, I remind her in the morning to do all of that stuff (which irks me; I mean shouldn't a 10 year old freaking remember to brush her teeth and change her underwear???). My husband doesn't do any of that. I came home from work today at 4pm and she was still in her pajamas from the night before, hair hadn't been brushed, stunk, no deodorant, hadn't brushed teeth! I asked husband about it and he said he just forgot to remind her.
I mean what do I do? I fear she is only going to get a push to want to be clean after kids at school start bullying her for it and I don't want that. I just am out of ideas.
Peer pressure is great.
Peer pressure is great. However until she gives a crap your stuck smelling her. I suggest a new rule in the house. Shower, full change of clothes and teeth brushed deodorant etc before anything electronic is turned on.
Including:
radio
tv
any phone
computer
ipod
etc
If she is found unwashed and enjoying any electronics: pick her favorite one, its gone for a week.
As for the standing under the water and not washing.. I feel your pain. My bio son went through the stink stage at about the same age. I sent him in for a shower, water was on and running and I went into the bathroom to put away towels. Opaque shower curtain, his modesty would have been preserved... if he had been in the shower. Instead he was standing in the bathroom, leaning against the sink, fully dressed while the hot water ran in the shower, just swirling down the drain.
I went to the kitchen, grabbed the scrubby sponge (sponge on one side, that green rough scrubby stuff on the other) and went back to the bathroom. Suffice it to say by the time I was done giving him a shower, he was CLEAN. And a bright pink color from being scrubbed.
Never had another problem again.
Oh my Gosh! My SD is almost
Oh my Gosh! My SD is almost 12 and just now wiping after using the toilet and possibly even washing while she is in the shower. Her last deoderant lasted a year and a half. I have seen her go an entire week without brushing her teeth. When I used to do her laundry, I took it out of the basket with stainless steel tongs! She recently wiped her #2 and out the paper in the trash can.
Dh knows all of this because I told him, but NOTHIN'.
She is about to grow out of the stage I hope. My BD never had this nasty stage. She has always been clean because I taught her to be.
I'd bet your BM is a nasty, non-handwashing, walking venereal disease. Our BM thinks she's hot sh*t with all her expensive labels and I just look at her and think, "b, your daughter told me you doint wash your hands after you use the bathroom." The BM also got false teeth when she was in her 30's. Gross.
I would send her back into
I would send her back into the shower until she comes out clean. She gets out, gets dried and she is still dirty she would be taking her ass right back into the bathroom to clean herself.
Hi, I understand what you
Hi,
I understand what you mean. My stepson was the same way. He refused to wash, put on deodorant, or even change his underwear. I finally got tired of nagging, so I left it. After a brutal day with kids at his school, he now does it all on his own.
Just let her go on the way she wants, she will be ostracized at school by her peers and she'll do it on her own.
My SD smelled like a
My SD smelled like a construction worker recently. She hadn't bathed for two days, hair standing on end all greasy and nasty and she refused to get out of her pajamas. Her mom came to pick her up and I told her that she'd chosen to look this way. Imagine SD's surprise when her mom told her they were going straight to a restaurant to meet a friend and they weren't stopping home for her to shower first. So she went like that. Now she showers every day.