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Question about punishment...

The Triangle's picture

Submitted by The Triangle on Wed, 03/27/2013 - 6:11pm

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General Discussion

SS 9 has a thing with lying. He has been caught about 3-4 times and it is very discouraged in our household. Do you feel that if ss is being punished at our house for lying to us that it should carry to BM's House?

Convulsive's picture

Submitted by Convulsive on Wed, 03/27/2013 - 6:15pm

Yes & no. In an ideal world it would so that the kid would get continuity & not play the parents against each other but in the real world, separate houses, separate rules, separate punishments. You do not want to open your door to the orders that would come your way if you tried to tell the other parent to punish.

The Triangle's picture

Submitted by The Triangle on Wed, 03/27/2013 - 7:37pm

Truth!

Journey1982's picture

Submitted by Journey1982 on Wed, 03/27/2013 - 8:00pm

^^^^agree^^^^^ Although my ex and I did not have a good relationship before and after the divorce, we were able to have a good working parenting relationship. I believe that we both made every effort to support for the well being of our kids.

The Triangle's picture

Submitted by The Triangle on Wed, 03/27/2013 - 7:38pm

Okay, so we are on the right track. So fyi ss lied about taking money for lunch without permission than lied to dh about packing his lunch. Like detailed made up his menu! Dh made him tell bm and her response was "well do you need me to give you lunch money?"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are on the right track, and this totally solidifies it.

The Triangle's picture

Submitted by The Triangle on Wed, 03/27/2013 - 7:39pm

Okay, so we are on the right track. So fyi ss lied about taking money for lunch without permission than lied to dh about packing his lunch. Like detailed made up his menu! Dh made him tell bm and her response was "well do you need me to give you lunch money?"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are on the right track, and this totally solidifies it.

The Triangle's picture

Submitted by The Triangle on Wed, 03/27/2013 - 7:39pm

Okay, so we are on the right track. So fyi ss lied about taking money for lunch without permission than lied to dh about packing his lunch. Like detailed made up his menu! Dh made him tell bm and her response was "well do you need me to give you lunch money?"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are on the right track, and this totally solidifies it.

The Triangle's picture

Submitted by The Triangle on Wed, 03/27/2013 - 8:09pm

That is what we are going to do... It seems to be the pattern that he acts out right before a break in school which normally warrants a visit with BM or as I like to call her "brick"

The Triangle's picture

Submitted by The Triangle on Wed, 03/27/2013 - 8:10pm

I found this helpful, I/we never thought of the repercussions like having to deal with her absurd punishments (if they were to ever happen). Thanks ladies!!!!!!!

Step-Volgirl's picture

Submitted by Step-Volgirl on Thu, 03/28/2013 - 7:45am

That was one of the things that DH and I discussed before we got maried - I was the one who didn't like the idea of punishments carrying over. I don't trust BM not to create a need for SD to be punished on a weekend when we have plans. However, there have been a few times when SD lost her ipod or laptop for a week. BM wouldn't let SD bring the item on her weekends. SD has an ipod, laptop and DSi, so she would bring the other 2 items. SD never seamed bothered by loosing the 1 item, so I'm not sure if any lesson was learned. On our end, we've never sent her to BM under any restrictions.