please tell me why I feel bad?? And tell me if I am wrong?
last week my step daughter had a dance competetion in Madison her first dance was not till saturday at 5pm-her mom pulled her out of school at 6th hour to go to madison early. My SD is struggling in her english writing class pretty bad this year again- their mom didnt discuss with the dad at all pulling her out of school early and told my sd to lie and not to tell us.. i found out because the cschool called and asked hy savana left early and wanted to know if my husband approved this... and then i texted sd asking if she left early cause i had no idea what was going on-she said no-then i said well then why is the school calling me they must have made a mistake i will call them back- then she texted back yes i did leave mom told me not to tell you- how is this normal?? or am i just old fashion to this shit??
Then this weekend my other sd was suppose to test for her green belt and her mom said no she is not going ot take her or sign her up- it was our weekend so i talked to the instructor who siad she was more then ready and i signed her up and she passed for green belt... i didnt tell her mom because i was very upset for the miscommuncation from her about the whole school thing ands about the other sd being sick all day sunday and missing school monday without telling us a thing!
i think i need to start giving her a taste of her own medicine and I did and now i feel like an ass for doing it.... what do you think?? am i a shity person for doing this??
Except BM's lack of
Except BM's lack of communication didn't cause SD's dad to MISS something.
OP's sleight of hand cost BM the ability to see SD get her green belt.
I take it you guys have
I take it you guys have custody and mom has weekend visitation?
Our CO dictates that BM2's visitation doesn't start til 5 pm on Friday. We have the CO on file with the school, so BM CAN'T pick SD9 up at school.
Um, you are unhappy because instead of acting like an adult and discussing it with you, your BM took your SD out of school and told her to lie about it, which put your SD in a position that NO adult should be putting her in. It was crappy. This is why SMs don't like BMs. It's this little undermining crap when they aren't doing the right thing. Nobody likes to have to police other adults. It's stressful and it's not our f'ing job.
it's maddening! truly
it's maddening! truly maddening! i know i've been there. dh tends to do this sort of thing back to bm. we've missed tons of things and bm has actually switched sd's schools and had them keep that info from him. i think she did it to keep him from going to SD10's IEP. didn't work out for her.
anyway, these bm's are crazy and will do anything to maintain control and it's wrong wrong wrong!
it's enough to drive a person crazy.
you feel bad because you played a tit for tat and it goes against your nature. you know your sd would have appreciated bm's presence at this event and you feel you lowered yourself to bm's standards.
dh lowers himself to her standards all the time. i have to constantly remind him if he thinks of the girls and what is best for them above his own anger and need for revenge he will be proud of all his actions.
give yourself grace, we are only human, take this as a learning experience. and try to remember to love your sd more than you hate bm. you will NEVER be sorry or feel badly about any action you do if you always focus on sd and what is best for her.
sending good thoughts your way.
thank you for all your
thank you for all your comments and support. We have the girls 50/50 shared palcement and joint everything. so we have them week on week off rotating weekends... I totally hat lower myself to her level becuase it makes me feel like a hchild with nio sense... but at this point i felt if i did give her a taste of her own actions i would of felt better but instead I felt worse! god! i will just be me from now on and ccomplain about it but not act like her and do things that are just not right and mean.... i just wonder why doesnt she feel bad for anything she does or when she hurts my feeling with her actions and words!!!