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Play date

staying calm's picture

Yeaterday bm (who is out of town) calls dh to let him know that the mom of some kid sd7 goes to school with will be calling us today to set up a play date. So at 9am this lady calls, letting us know she's talked to bm, and they've planned it all out. This mom will be at our house in 15 minutes. Now we were all asleep when this woman called, (kids don't have school today) so i had no idea who it was. Dh flys out of the room, and wakes up sd7, throws clothes on her, and has her waiting when this woman and her three kids show up to take sd7. I guess bm told her where we live! Now i have several questions...
1 what is a play date? Why don't kids just play with kids in the neighborhood anymore?
2 why would a lady with 3 kids want another one?
3 why didn't this lady call dh to set this up since sd7 was going to be with us? We actually had plans to do something today, and couldn't because bm had set this up.
4 can we tell these ladies in the future that we have plans? How do you bow out of a play date?

alexisintexas's picture

agreed. That is YOUR time and you do not have to say yes-and should have said no that BM told you nothing of the plans. And even if she had, it is your and your husband's time.

Thatonegirl's picture

Hahahah

reallifedrama's picture

" why didn't this lady call dh to set this up since sd7 was going to be with us? We actually had plans to do something today, and couldn't because bm had set this up."

You should have said all this to "Lady".

Here in Philly, "Play date" is what the kindergarten, suburban, clique moms call it when kids get together to play. They have decided to teach their children young how to act like snobbish itches. They take turns swapping kids, trying to outdo each other with fun activities, and meet up in the school yard the next day to brag about it in front of everyone. Mind you, only the popular mommy's get to be part of it. They teach their kids at an early age who is, and isn't acceptable to socialize with. I do believe that it is actually a time for the mommy w/o the kids to pop her zanny's and sip her wine-just an assumption based on how dayum goofy it all is.

I could be wrong, though, because I never allowed my son to participate in the "dates". We had plenty of friends in the neighborhood and would hang out swimming at each others houses, grilling etc.

I preferred actually sitting with the other moms and watching my kid play. I don't actually like the idea of sending my kids off with people I don't know well just to increase my "cool status".....you should maybe have DH mention to BM how dangerous and "uncool" it is sending the kid off with someone they don't know well.

My son made it through school fine, and still had plenty of friends without participating in "play dates".

the wicked witch's picture

To me...Adding one moer chld to my 4 boys quite often makes my load easier, since they play so well together. I love doing that. You need to not be afraid to say NO...but be nice about it. If the BM has her the majority of the time, your time may be packed with activities. If so, understood. Being relaxed about the situation might help out the relationships all aroud. If it bothers you, maybe you could mention that in the future, that it not happen...

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

Play dates are what moms do when kids are pre-school since the kids have no other way of meeting other. Once kids are in school play dates needn't take place as the kids play with other kids in the neighborhood. Maybe for kindergarten play dates still take place but not much longer after that. Just weird in my opinion.

staying calm's picture

That 's what i think too! Now it was very nice of this mom to take her, don't get me wrong. They had her all day and even called to ask if they could take sd7 to dinner with them! I guess it was just odd to me because i never had them, or even heard of them. Maybe if your child was an only kid, and there weren't any kids in the neighborhood, then getting together to play makes sense. We are not "cool" at all. But BM is very "cool" and other mom's seem to flock to her, so sd7 has lots of playdates at mom's house. It was just a first for us.