Eh. I can see that this can make someone feel uncomfortable and insecure. DH doesn't have any pictures up anymore on FB but still has old statuses with glowing remarks. But at the end of the day he is choosing to be with you so I dont see it as a dealbreaker.

Ya this wouldn’t fly with me and if I mentioned it to my husband they’d be gone in a second. I am really not insecure in relationships at all, and really really not with my husband yet this would still bug me. A pic or two wouldn’t but tons with all the captions. Ick. 

he has posted pictures of us and written some nice things about me, but nothing in comparison to all the pictures of his wife

Oh, well that was mighty nice of him.

Dump this loser, he's still in love with his ex-wife and you are his consolation prize.

This seems a bit, uh, obsessive... To keep all of that. I will say, everytime I've gone through a breakup, I keep those things on FB to look at until I get over the person. Then it's time to delete/remove tags. My DH was over BM before they even split, so he removed all of those things pretty quickly. The only things he didn't remove were photos of SD as a baby that she posted and tagged him in, which I don't mind. 

I think you have every right to expect him to remove them. Relationships are all about give and take, as well as paying attention to your partner's feelings, even if you don't understand them or see the importance of them. As long as it's not controlling behaviour (ie. remove all the females from your FB!) then it's fair game. 

Yeah, my DH has the first family pictures and the lovey-dovey captions (best wife ever, etc.) with pictures of BM on his FB.  Plenty of them. But I only saw them because I went stalking through his FB - it's all stuff that someone would only see if they went back several years through his history.  I'm not particularly bothered by it - it happened, all of his FB friends saw it at the time, and I doubt people are looking back to see those posts.  If I go back even further I can see posts about the girlfriends (and a fiancee) who preceded BM.  So I know he didn't remove any of those posts for BM.  I'm OK with the posts about BM and the first family remaining.  If I wasn't, and I asked him to remove them, I can make a really good guess as to what he would do.  He's much too lazy to do it himself, so he'd give me his FB password and tell me to go nuts deleting it all.  

I think there are two big differences in your situation, though.  First, my DH posts "best wife ever" and other effusive things about me these days.  I don't think BM got better "Facebook treatment" than I do.  And more important, he didn't know me back then.  I can tell myself that if he did, he'd have chosen me. I do think that makes a big difference.  If your BF knows that those FB posts and pictures bother you, and he knows you are insecure about them, he should do something about it.  Why would he not want you to feel comfortable and secure in your relationship?  If he doesn't want to delete because it's part of his history, and maybe he doesn't have the pictures elsewhere, could he hide those posts at least?  Anyway, to answer your last question, in the absence of other issues, I don't think this should be a deal breaker, although I do understand why you're unhappy about it and in your shoes, I would be too.  I suspect there are other issues.

No way would this be ok with me! I wouldn't even date someone who had those types of pics on his FB page. Thankfully, FB didn't exist back in the Stone Ages when my DH was married to BM. lol. (He and I have been married almost 20 years!) However, there's no way I'd be all right with that, especially after 2 years together. It's disrespectful to your relationship. And I can't understand why he would still want those up, especially knowing it bothers you. I'm sure if you had pics with your EX like that he would NOT be ok with it, which he already let you know. I would question not only his feelings for you but if he still has feelings for her. 

I know people who had profiles like this. They wouldn't delete anything because they didn't want to delete their history like it never happened, then there are those that burn and delete everything related to an ex.  You made your request and he gave you an answer, "thinking about it" is a delayed no.  

From your previous posts it seems that you are the stand in for the life they used to have and if bf could have her back, he would in a heartbeat.  He's not going to morph into the perfect man who worships the ground you walk on. He is who he is with all his hang ups, a big one being the woman he loved and lost.  You can't change him but you do get to decide whether this situation is right for you.  

I would have an issue with it too. It’s really not that time consuming to delete pictures lol he must not want to delete them. At the very least he could go in and make them private so others can’t see them, but I would want them deleted eventually. 

I read your other post, and my thought on ALL of this is that, deep down, you're not over how he hurt you the first time. You're looking at these pictures not as him and an ex, but as everything that should have been you had he not met her.

He abruptly left you and damn near immediately married her. He was IN LOVE with her wholy and completely. He gave her what he didn't want or have to give to you. Basically, he was more into her than into you, and was willing to not only give her the firsts and life you wanted with him, but he gave it to her while breaking your heart.

Now, he's picking up where he left off 15 years ago. He still loves his ex, but you're okay enough. You were okay enough 15 years ago, and you would have been okay enough as a wife had he never met her. That's why you two reconnected. You were the closest he could find to his ex. He could just pick up where he left off because you never recovered from the first heartbreak and are desperate to prove that your love for one another is just as good as it was with his XW.

But it's not from him, and you know why? Because he is willing to leave you for her. He has already done it once. He'd likely do it again if given the chance. He's never going to close the chapter on his old life because he'll happily slip right back into it if given the chance. My guess is that it won't be you asking him to remove the pictures that will get it to happen. It will be his XW asking, or her getting remarried and closing down your SO's hopes for getting back together.

I know this all sounds very harsh, but he's going to treat you as well as he can because you're better than everyone BUT her to him. And that is what is fueling a lot of your insecurity.

But let's focus on you for a moment. I have been the insecure girl before. That's who I was in my first marriage. It wasn't until after I left and found someone who actually loved me for me that I realized just how flawed my thinking had been with my XH. Instead of realizing I was a kick-ass woman on my own, I put ALL my self-worth on his opinion of me. If he didn't find me attractive, didn't find me to be a good homemaker, didn't find me smart - then I must not be. I thought that my husband got to dictate my value, because he chose me. I made myself a commodity - an item - that was only worth what someone was willing to pay for me. If he criticized me, or left me, then it must mean that I wasn't as valuable.

But I'm not an item, and neither are you. We aren't valuable because someone else finds value in us. We're valuable because we're GD human beings with one life only, and that makes our time here, independent of everyone and everything else, priceless. We do not have time to feel insecure and undervalued. It's a waste of our priceless and limited time. 

So why, if your are a priceless person, are you allowing someone else to put a price on you? Either your relationships enhance your life and make you feel better, or they don't. That's not to say you won't have rough patches, but the things that cause those rough patches shouldn't be things that you have a CHOICE in. You can CHOOSE a partner who listens to you, who is as excited about marrying you as you are him, who wants to share your mutual firsts (like your mutual first child, and first house, and first dance at your wedding), and who will do anything within reason - like just setting photos to private so that no one else can see them which takes all of a few clicks on a dreary evening - to make you feel like you're as priceless as you are.

You're being treated like a consolation prize, and no human should be treated as such. If he's worth being second fiddle for, so be it. If not, it's time to pick yourself up and move along. 

My husband actually had pictures on his Facebook of him and BM. It never bothered me because DH rarely uses Facebook, and those pictures were there from years ago. He never deleted them. My MIL actually called him one day and blew up on him for still having those pictures. Apparently it wasn't even pictures he uploaded, but ones from years ago he was tagged in. I went in and removed the tags for him :) 

It would bother me though if DH used FB regularly, knew how it worked, and still had those pictures up. 

I'm going to add another comment regarding photos in general:

I don't have a problem with someone keeping photos of the past. It's their past, and whether it was good or bad, some people want a recorded history of it.

I still have photos on FB of my XH and I. They are photos that I don't have physical copies of, so FB acts as my photo album. Our wedding photos, or photos of just him and I, are all set to private. The photos still on FB are group photos with friends. Unless I told you we were married, you'd likely have no idea who he was or that we were together.

DH is okay with this. I don't keep the photos because I want to think back on my XH in wonderment of what could have been. I keep them because they are a reminder that, even though I had rough years with my XH and I wouldn't go back to him if he groveled (and he did), there were good times in my life when he was part of it. It's a reminder that my early 20s weren't just a dumpster fire of toxic relationship and poor financial decisions. I don't keep them because I mourn an XH. I keep them as a reminder of what my life was like.

However, I don't share these photos with my DH. If he came to me and asked me to delete them, we'd have a very serious conversation of why he thought it was necessary since I don't put them on display. If he felt insecure about the photos, we'd talk about why because it's not the photos that would cause the insecurity. What would cause the insecurity is what those photos depict and where I am not making him feel as awesome and as loved as he thinks my XH does in those photos.

And that is where I would have to examine the situation. If my DH told me he felt insecure, I'd want to know precisely what it was and examine my own behaviors. Was I treating my DH in a manner that is reflected in old photos? Does he get as much love and attention as I was giving before? Is my DH trying to be controlling and it really is his issue and not how I act as a spouse?

There may be things I did that are in photos that I would never do or say again because it was or led to toxic/unhealthy behaviors. Keeping a photo of that, for me, would be a reminder of what NOT to do in the future. And I would explain that to DH.

There may be things I did in photos that were sweet and romantic and totally healthy that I don't do for my DH, probably because I did it before and when my first marriage went up in flames I forgot the things I did that "made me a good wife". Those photos remind me how kick-ass I can be for another person, and if I am not being kick-ass and that is causing my DH strife, then I better get my lazy butt in gear and do what I clearly CAN and WOULD do for someone. It's not that my XH was better; it's that I got lazy. In this case, I HAVE to do better.

And sometimes spouses (not my DH) want pictures GONE because they want to pretend that the past didn't happen. They don't want to explore their own insecurities, or even after having the photos explained and their spouses have stepped up their game, they are still unhappy. Instead of accepting that their relationship is different, they want to act like their relationship is/was THE ONLY defining moment in their spouse's life. That's not fair to the spouse. It's not fair to ask them to pretend the past didn't happen to them to make you (general) feel better or more secure. You have to accept that a past exists, and you have to accept how you are treated (sans abusive situations), or you should find someone who fits with you better. You shouldn't be in the business of molding an adult that you want into the person you think they should be. If they willingly change themselves, great! If not, accept it or move on.

There are people who will keep photos because they aren't over their past. However, burning those photos or deleting them from existence won't fix anything. That person will STILL be longing for the past. They will STILL treat their new relationship like a consolation prize. The reminder might not be there, so it's easier to trick yourself into thinking all is well and good. But it doesn't actually fix the root problem, which is knowing someone else that was loved got treated better than you, someone else who is also supposedly loved.

So, photos aren't the problem. It's the clear disconnect between current behavior and what is depicted in past behavior that is the problem. Either current behavior gets fixed, and therefore photos don't hurt, or it doesn't and the relationship suffers whether the photos exist or not. That piece of ink-soaked paper or square of pixels isn't causing strife in your relationship. It's the attitude and behavior of you and/or your spouse that is, and the photo is just proof that things could be different.

Men are different creatures than woman.  They don't typically keep a bunch of pictures around unless they are still interested or just lazy.  

Photos don't have to be deleted or burned but if one needs to keep them,  a box in the basement behind the furnace is the appropriate place not their Facebook page public or private.  There really shouldn't be a need to stumble across them all the time if you are married to someone else.  

If someone asked me to take photos down I’d tell them to bugger off. This is my life and my past and my photo album. Your insecurities are your own. If he’s not making you feel loved then leave him, but asking him to take his past down is very needy, jealous and dependent and completely inappropriate. I’m amazed so many people agree with you at all. 

I have remained friends with every single person I’ve ever dated, including my oldest’s father. My photos taken while we were together are still up and on display, albeit my FB is private so no one but friends and family can see photos. 

Take this to counseling, not a forum. 

He needs to take those photos down already, not by anyone asking him, but by his own choosing. He should've down it by now.

DH doesn’t do social media but when we first became hot and heavy, he went through the old boxes of photos he had of him and BM and threw them away so I wouldn’t stumble across them when I moved in. He did this without me asking him to. He had some pics of BM and ss too because she left everything when she left including pics of her being pregnant. He asked what he should do with them and I suggested he box them up and ask if BM wanted them. He did and she freaked out, not sure why. The point here is the DH did all this without prompting because he knew this would be uncomfortable for me. Not all men are that intuitive but you have asked him to take them down. I would try one more time but offering that you will sit down and take the time to remove the pics. If he still fights you then I think it is time to move on.