PAS
Maybe this has been talked about but I could not find a thread on it?
I looked this up and was shocked how many of "the signs" were met with BM.
•Giving a child a choice as to whether or not to visit with the other parent. YEP
•Telling the child details about the marital relationship or reasons for the divorce. YEP
•Refusing to acknowledge that the child has property and may want to transport possessions between residences.
•Resisting or refusing to cooperate by not allowing the other parent access to school or medical records and schedules of extracurricular activities. YEP
•One parent blaming the other parent for financial problems, breaking up the family, changes in lifestyle, or having a girlfriend or boyfriend. YEP
•Refusing to be flexible with the visitation schedule in order to respond to the child's needs, or scheduling the child in so many activities that the other parent is never given the time to visit. YEP
•Assuming that if a parent has been physically abusive with the other parent, it follows that the parent will assault the child. This assumption is not always true.
•Asking the child to choose one parent over the other.
•The alienating parent encouraging any natural anger the child has toward the other parent.
•A parent or stepparent suggesting changing the child's name or having the stepparent adopt the child. KIND OF, HE CALLS SD DAD.
•When the child cannot give reasons for being angry towards a parent or gives reasons that are vague and without any details. YEP
•Using a child to spy or covertly gather information for the parent's own use. YEP
•Arranging temptations that interfere with the other parent's visitation. YEP
•Reacting with hurt or sadness to a child having a good time with the other parent.
•Asking the child about the other parent's personal life. YEP
•Physically or psychologically rescuing a child when there is no threat to their safety.
•Making demands on the other parent that are contrary to court orders. YEP
•Listening in on the child's phone conversation with the other parent YEP
•A parent or stepparent
•A parent or stepparent suggesting changing the child's name or having the stepparent adopt the child. KIND OF, HE CALLS SD DAD.
My bestfriend's kids all call her husband dad even though he's only dad to two of them. They still love their real dad very much.
(I know this is not the point but I want to say that a step parent being refered to as a parent is not always a bad thing.)
Do these sites give you ways to help deal with this stuff? Is there anyway to show this to someone who can change things? Sounds like a shitty situation for the kids.
It says that depending on
It says that depending on the stage the child is in, Severe/Moderite that there is really no help for the child and to gather all the info you can find and bring it to court or a counsler and try to get the child help.
It says that the courts do not reconize this syndrome.
I understand your point, but when SS is calling Step-dad "dad" in front of my DH I get a little wierded out and I can see the hurt in Dh's eyes
Hmmmm... by what has been going on here lately I don't see any love coming from SS just "Gimme" "and how much will you buy me"
Yes, part of that is the age but alot of it has to do with the "ideas" that BM plants in SS's head.
Never a failure...Always a lesson
Yea... infront of Dad is
Yea... infront of Dad is pretty weird.
Its been mentioned several
Its been mentioned several times but the book Divorce Poison is a wonderful book to combat PAS. I like it in particular because it gives the parent who's being turned against a proactive role in fighting PAS in their child. Its the only book I know of that offers more than "taking the high road". In fact it strongly disagrees with handling PAS that way. It's been proven over and over that it fails to fight of syndrome.
Only one line does not apply
Only one line does not apply to our situation. But the rest this bm of ours has done to her kids. Its worked to perfection with sd. SS is not hooking on ...yet...i dont see the signs i see with sd. Bm has done this to both kids but both are reacting diff. SD has pretty much pulled away and is no showing 'hate'..my dh said she was looking at him like he was a piece of shit' And my ss is clinging more to his dad then ever and wants to stay with us. Total opposite reactions.
And i heard on the radio, lawyer talk, that PAs is starting to be recognized. A woman in quebec or ontario lost custody of her children because of the alienation tactics. SHe had no grounds to do what she was doing except for revenge on her ex, so they stripped her of custody. Not sure which province but that is going to set a precident now.
Its really horrible how a mother can destroy her kids with all the hate and anger. There is nothing you can do. Most parents bascially give up and walk away from their child.