"*Is still bathed most nights a week by my husband (her dad)"

I think this is totally inappropriate for her age. If he doesn't realize this in inappropriate, this is a problem!

I think that cuddling with a parent is ok, but it sounds like it is excessive in your household. Is your husband as affectionate with you as he is with his daughter? What does the daughter do when he sees you being affectionate with you?

My youngest step son used to drive me bat s##t crazy because he would say "I love you" every five freaking minutes to his Dad and me. I would finally have to tell him, "Enough! I love you too, but you don't have to say it constantly!"

I have a 10 yr old daughter and she is nothing like this at all. Well maybe the not flushing the toilet part but not the rest of it. She would never let me in the bathroom while she is taking a shower. If I saw her sitting on my exh's lap I would be weirded out by it.
But she is not insecure at all and very mature for her age.

But I met SD when she was 10. She had to always sit next to daddy, walk next to daddy and hold his hand, and needed all of his attention. To this day she is so insecure and awkward!! So much worse than when she was 10 and now she is 15. She still tries to squeeze her way in when we go out to eat. DH kicks her out of the seat now but when she was 10 she would sit there and give me dirty looks.

I am not from a touchy feely family either. Hugs are one thing but it stops there.

Ignore them!!

My SD is also 10 soon to be 11 and she is very mature but does not sit on her dad's lap..she will cuddle with him on the couch but she does the same with me her SM..but like I said not for long just a little hug and then she does her own thing.... I think these girls are insecure and just need to be reminded that they are important..

I DO NOT AGREE THAT YOUR DH BATHES HIS DAUGHTER...THAT IS JUST WRONG..SHE IS 10.. that creeps me out...

I do agree it seems a bit much that your SD is so clingy and she still sucks her thumb...seems to me she is just looking for attention which your DH keeps giving her.. so your SD is very immature because of it..

Your in a tough situation..I dont envy you..your DH needs to treat her like a little girl and not a baby..

good luck.. Z

No....that is pretty creepy.

I'm voting with the Creepy Crowd. Also if he keeps it up, he could be getting a call from CPS -- if she says one thing wrong at school to a teacher, it's going to sound pretty sinister.

Alert!! Creepy.Not healthy at all. Tread carefully is all I can offer,but with haste.

I think it's just as creepy for my bf's 7 and almost 9 yr old who hang all over him. I can't imagine them doing it at 10! Oh lordy I should probably start preparing for that...

It is common for fathers to baby their daughters after divorce. I wish I knew the fix. It's a PITA! Good luck!

The bathing thing...my SD's are 7 and 9...they "bathe" themselves...They do take baths together still and play in the tub with bubbles and have tea parties until they are prunie...And I help them wash their hair...sometimes their dad does...we take turns...(Question - at what age should we seperate them? I think it will be along time before either starts to develop and at that time I KNOW they will not be allowed)but he does NOT bathe them...And they are both capable of taking a shower...

We had it out about some things about 2 years ago...I wanted the girls to be more "modest" because I think that's important...they USED to do really weird things...

1. Dancing all over the damn house naked even in front of their grandfather while he and grandma yelled "woooo seexxyyyy hoottcchhiiiee mommmaaaa!" COMPLETELY INNAPROPRIATE...

2. They used to get dressed where ever they wanted to - even in front of open windows in the living area...they now HAVE to change in the bedroom with the door CLOSED.

3. They also used to dance on eachother NAKED like strippers...That stopped real quick.

I still cringe when he says, :hey baby: when he calls them...He calls me baby...they know that - he says it all the time and it makes me sick...still working on this one... The oldest used to do that weird stroking her dads hair and being really creepy - I told him I thought it was getting a little weird for me...he actually started to notice the weirdness at one point...but she was like 6 then...if your SD is 10 and still can't wipe...and is being overly affectionate - he has to know that this is getting weird...maybe you should ask to bathe her for on? Or put her in the shower and just monitor and guide her through it? Sorry I got a little off subject - I just wanted to vent some of the weirdness we have seen...

Narrrr, not normal, she is a mini-wife and that is unhealthy.

Ga-ross!!!!!!! I hate it.

I think your SD and my SD would be best friends! My SD is about to turn 12 and acts the exact same way towards her Dad. Granted he is a great father! However, it does drive me absolutly nuts that she basically glues herself to his side when she is here, she'll say "I love you daddy" like 5 or 6 times in a 5 minute span (which he stops her and says he knows and he loves hearing it, but she doesn't need to keep repeating it.) She constantly trys to sit on his lap, curl up with him and be right there constantly. However she is like that with her Grandmother too (DH's mom). It isn't so much creepy in an inappropriate way, it's just overly sucky and almost feels as if she's desperate to make sure he still loves her. SS9 is the same way. Even goes as far as to call himself a suck up in regards to his Dad. He thinks it's funny. My DH has tried for years to explain to them that although he loves the attention and affection, he wants them to know he loves them very much and knows they love him but that they don't need to feel as though they need to prove it to him all the time.
From my perspective I just want to tell the 12 year old to grow up and start acting her age. She has always always acted about 5 years younger than she actually is. She's a smart girl as far as school goes, but I find socially she's behind about 5 years. When I was 12 I was doing teenage girl things. Hanging out with friends, experimenting with hair, make up and clothes ect. Reading, journaling - all that teen girl stuff. SD12 still plays with barbies and plays house and make believe. I'm all for kids using their imagination, but allow it grow up a bit for christ sake! She gets mad if someone gets her an age appropriate gift instead of something for a child.
I feel your pain...
I have spoken with DH about it and I think we have agreed that WE are dejunking her toys and from now on she is to recieve age appropriate gifts and toys and we're telling friends and family that as well. They all tend to give into her little kid wishes for some reason. She'll be pissed but maybe she'll start to grow up.