Moving Out and Hard to Accept
Yesterday my bf and I had a huge argument. The argument itself was basically about my bf going against everything I say but is completely wrong 95% of the time. Anyway, he became upset and called me a bi**h and told me to get the f*ck out of his house. He then said his ex wife looks better than me. Shortly after that I realized that he had been drinking yet I can't get past the things he said even though I know it's not true. I also realize that he is upset because he wanted me watch his son one evening while he worked his part time job and I purposely didn't answer the phone. He had to take him with him. I think my bf is frustrated because I disengaged and due to the stress in the relationship I haven't had sex with him in 2 months.
He then left early this morning at 9am, called to say he was sorry for what he said and he was wrong then he hung up. He returned home at 10pm and went directly to another room to sleep. It's so hard coming to the realization of leaving and feeling like the BM won.
Ouch! I'm sorry he hurt you
Ouch! I'm sorry he hurt you like that.
(((((((((HUGS))))))))))
So sorry, hate it when guys
So sorry, hate it when guys think they're right and then to say that about bm, wow low blow. It's might just be good to move out for a bit, maybe work it out but if not he sounds like he's not quite over bm (?). Not sure on that but usually if a guy talks about his ex like that there is still a tie somewhere to her in his heart. Not sure on that but it is worth taking a bit of space and time. Sorry and hugs.
Yes, I did say something to
Yes, I did say something to him about his BM because she has disrepected me on several occassions by emailing me at home and work, calling my cell phone, calling me names, and calling the house at unreasonable hours etc. etc. and EACH time I have taken the high roll and not responded. Therefore, my anger and disappointed was directed at him for the stuff she did because I felt like he didn't protect me or have my back especially because these are his issues and not mine. How could he be so ignorant towards me and call me names while the mother of his kid calls him names ALL the time, emails him constantly, disrespects him and me, doesn't clothe his son properly or make time for her kid? I have NEVER done any of this, yet this is how you chose to talk to me? Where was this anger and passion in regards to the BM and the treatment of me and him and care of his son? Where is this conviction when his son 8 tells him to shut up and run all over him? This is the first time he has ever called me out of my name or done anything like this. Yet I now realize why he stays silent.
Last night the only thing he could say is he is sorry for what he said and he thinks it would be better for the both of us to just move on in order to prevent any more confrontations. My response was "I think you are being a coward and it explains why you have been married 3 times and have lived with multiple other women". You think that you can avoid confrontation in relationships and you can't. He said he just need to learn how to deal with it better. He then says "you have been wonderful in this relationship and I can't ask you to accept my behavior I know I was wrong." Sounds to me like either A. He wants me to leave or B. He has a anger management problem and he has no middle ground either he avoids confrontation or he errupts.
I have attempted to have several conversations with him over the relationship and each time he tries to avoid it or find something else to do like watch tv etc during the conversation. Who wants to move during Christmas holiday? It will affect the gifts my daughter 17 will receive but its fine. She will understand I just don't like it.
Drinking...is he a problem
Drinking...is he a problem drinker? Babysitting his kid for him? Doesn't sound fun...he needs to get child care. What he said is UNACCETABLE. Sounds like time to leave and don't look back. Work on yourself awhile. Good luck!
Time to go. He is the wrong
Time to go. He is the wrong man for you and staying in that environment is a bad example for your daughter. Staying with him is preventing you from finding the right man for you, you are wasting your time. You deserve better than this. There is no excuse for his behavior. Saying that he was drinking and therefore is to be forgiven is a cop-out and a giant red flag. Don't waste any more of your precious time on him and set a positive example for your daughter that no woman should tolerate this kind of behavior from any man, ever!
Drunk men tell no tales...I
Drunk men tell no tales...I just heard that in a movie the other day and usually people tell their TRUE feelings when they are intoxicated. I know it is a kick in the teeth to hear him say the ONE WOMAN in the world that I'm sure you can't stand looks better than you! Because that would burn my ass to high Heaven if my BF ever said anything about his gold digging, cheating, lying whore XW being better than me!!!
You don't deserve that...you DESERVE BETTER!!!
You don't want to break up
You don't want to break up because you feel the BM won? Ad what did she win? A mean drunk who wants you to be his babysitter.
Honey, all she won was the booby prize. Good riddance.
If you leave it won't be BM
If you leave it won't be BM winning, it will be YOU winning because you deserve FAR, FAR better than him!
BM won? You didn't say one
BM won? You didn't say one word about her. Even if you did your problem is that you and your boyfriend disagree on parenting techniques and your role in this 4 way relationship.
The point of dating and engagement is to find out if you're compatable with your intended life long partner. You're not. So what? Be damn glad you learned now instead of later when you had two more kids holding onto your knees, a disengaged step son who hates you and a BM who hates you worse.
With your whole life ahead of you a new opportunity awaits right around the corner. A million guys await - find one that has the parenting skills and techniques you agree with and isn't expecting you to be a babysitter/sex partner and nothing else.