Sasquatch. She looks like one. Big, mean, ugly, nasty feet and hands. My sons actually came up with that name long before SO and I ever got together.

I like to call our BM - "Einstein" - because she's so smart.......NOT!

Uberskank - no explanation necessary.........

Fitch! (F*cking bitch)

I like FITCH...LOL!

I've called her "pink dragon" because she always wears pink top and jeans with sneakers (even to court). I also say she has a masters degree from S.L.U.T. (because of all the men she sucks into her grasp)

My name for our "soap opera" life is called "The Slut and the Faithful"

I think I'm gonna use fitch as one of my names for her }:)

Muffin top

I am not usually this mean but when you choose to let it ALL HANG OUT and I am not joking its bad she tries to where a small when she needs and XLarge. Plus me and FDH can say " MT did _____" and the kids have no clue, they think it is someone I work with, its great!

I have two names for ours. Psycho Bitch (PB) - no explanation necessary. AND once in a while I call her LNM - which is Loch Ness Monster and is loosely based upon her name.

Basic Cast of Characters:

Behemoth (my new name for her as this site came dangerously closed to being breached by GG (biodad I live with)
She is six feet tall and over 250 lbs. The only thing she had in common with GG is their shoe size. Apparently GG was at eye/boob level with the Behemoth and thus a wedding was brought forth (file under: thinking with other head)

GG (short for God's gift) Biodad I live with and although I support him financially, emotionally and every other which way a woman can for a man, he has deluded himself into thinking that *I* am lucky to inherit him and all his massive baggage.

Uncle Kinky GG's only full blood brother from his parents two marriages each that sided with the Behemoth. He happens to be alternative lifestyle so he probably felt personally scorned that his shoe shopping pal (Behemoth) was rejected by his own brother.

Mr. Neutral GG's older half brother who feels the need to take a neutral stance. He also feels obligated to fill GG in on the day to day occurences of GG's PASed out brood.

Seasoned Citizen: GG's OLDEST half brother who likes me and does NOT take the Behemoth's side. Of course GG rejects Seasoned Citizen and after eight years, is STILL under the "spell" of the Behemoth and her mother the Wookie.

Wookie (the BM's BM, same height as the Behemoth except add another 100 lbs or so) A massive, brooding battle axe with large nostrils to snort with and ice blue eyes (the eyes that GG is so fond of to this day) to give me hate stares when we have chance meetings at the grocery store.

Brainiac SS15 Pulls down a high "F" average in school but makes good marks in band, is in a garage band, has been dying his howdy doody hair black at age 12 with full permission from the Behemoth. The Behemoth tells him he doesn't have to worry about grades b/c he's going to be the next X Factor celebrity.

Venus De Milo (VD for Short) SD will be 13 next week. Pulls down a LOW "F" average in school but has been told that she's "athletic" and that accounts for everything. If you call being oversized for your age "athletic" then I guess she's athletic. Known to be an animal torturer, sarcastic, have Bieber fever yet maintaining a certain "tom boy" personna and will probably be fitted with Doc Martins and a Flannel shirt before age 19; that or have several illegitimate children in foster homes by age 16. Has been caught stealing, lying and cheating (by me of course; everyone else looks the other way) Is currently reading and writing at a high 2nd grade level.

Prince Hygiend SS stb 9 Totally devoid of even the basic social skills and manners. Famous for patented 30 minute SOAPLESS showers. Has been known to defecate over property if he doesn't get his way.

All three skids are about four years behind in the mental maturity dept, yet usually the tallest/largest kid in their class and one grade above. They are all PASed out. The horrendous behaviour, the fake CPS reports, the drama all lead me to say if they EVER darken my doorstep again it will be TOO SOON!

I call BM Superslut or the bloodsucking leech, and I call her mother the Beluga, due to her uncanny resemblance

I'm almost positive Behemouth and Sasquatch are related. Their spawn not only act alike, but look alike. I shudder to think there are more of them out there.

BM#1 I could easily call her "The Weiner Hitchhiker" because she has had sooo many BF's its disgusting and BM#2 Mrs. Fred Flintstone cuz her feet look like someone's from the stone age. I can also call her Miss Turtleneck Neck or MTN because her neck has serious rollage. Don't even get me started on BM#1's teeth she looks as if she's been eating boulders all her life ugh! I can go on and on forever!

Why can't i think of something clever??!!!

In my head (never out loud) I call her a f**king lazy b*%ch.

Or just Lazy for short.

Wait...I also call her a f**king Nutbar...(again, never out loud).

There are two BM's..

BM1 is Redneck Bulldyke (Redneck for short) It's a LOOOOONG story but basically, she divorced my SO because he was "jealous" of her "best friend"...yeah...they lived together & shared a bank account for 8 years, but they were just "best friends"...yup, ok. This is what she told SD's. She's now straight again & newly married. She lives in a small town & is a monster truck driving, double barrel shot-gun toting redneck...& proud of it.

BM 2 is Nasty on STalk but at home, I call her "C*ntess" because she behaved in a fashion that led me to believe that she saw her vag as the most spectacular thing EVER...apparently, SO was supposed to THANK her for having his children for him & understand that her job was done (her words)...I believe that her vag is in all actuality poisoned & that she should have been spayed many moons ago to avoid spawning children that she had no intention of caring for. She is a notorious whore with no shame. I use Nasty because what is nastier than a rotten out, over-used vag? Not much I tell ya...not much.

I must add words that will insinuate stupid to Nasty's name...one day

I call BM The Whale. Didn't start here. In her baby shower pics I noticed you couldn't even TELL she was prego. EEK. Over the past 24 months she has gained another 60-80 lbs. When we were in court constantly with her it was like an over night change. She weights at LEAST 300 lbs.

Baby Blue is the baby. He needed a name and It just came to me. He's got the BLUEST eyes. thankfully he is his daddys twin. If he looked like her I'd probably resent him. EEK.
(she claims all his features are from her. Anytime someone comments on her pics of him she says Yah he gets xxx from me. )

I love the sig. "i'd love to be the bigger person, but errmmmmm......xxx"

ME TOO!!!

This thread got me wondering what I would name my DH's EX. Then I realized that we haven't "named" her because we prefer NOT to think about her - at all!

If we did name her, it would probably be the name my DH gave her the other night on the phone with his son (when my SS had really ticked him off). He called his EX a F------ Manipulative B----.
Need I say more?

I of course cannot top Auteur. But here goes:( I have stepped my nephew on my husbands side so they're all his reletives)Nephew:CTBB- champagne taste on a beer budget.BM/SIL:Whorebag. SIL#2: Closetdyke. MIL: Ironpants.BMDH#1:Smashy(would break things when mad) BMDH#2:Twelvepack(what he drank every.single.day)BMDH#3:Hayseed(17 years her junior).

It only ever happens in my head, but BM is the Sow because she's huge, she's dirty and she's lazy as all get out. SD sort of by default wound up being Miss Piggy in my mind because of the Sow and the high drama drama drama of her teenage life. That whole raving mad, top exploding combined with her amazing ability to ooze oh I just Love so and so, I just can't help but get Muppet movie flashbacks.

When either of them get referred to out load by either DH or I, his names for both have tended to just include profanity and mine are about the same but with slightly less profanity.

DH FAMILY CALLS BM LISA WHICH IS FIL'S EX WIFE SHE WAS A MEAN MANUPULATIVE WHORE THAT BEAT MY DH. THEY ALSO CALL HER THAT BECAUSE HER NAME IS ALSO THAT OF ONE OF HIS COUSINS AND THEY GET CONFUSED. MY BABY DADDY IS FU*KTARD, DEAD BEAT, ECT. I CALL THE BABY MAMA DUMB BITCH, HEIFER, EGG DONER, THE ITCH ECT THE LIST COULD GO ON FOREVER