Lack of affection in relationship?
This has been one of the least affectionate relationships I’ve been in physically. I am very affectionate with my man. I rub his shoulders, head, feet, etc and love to kiss. He does none of these things with me besides kissing which he’s not super big on kissing either. I’m wondering if it’s because he gives all of his affections to his kids? He is very affectionate with them and always hugging, rubbing, cuddling with them. Then at night he rolls over and tells me to rub him. I work over 50 hours a week on my feet. I could use a rub too sometimes and not just watch your kids get all the affection. Also I’m done going on vacations with mil. She spoils the skids openly in front of his and teaches them to act like entitled brats. It’s created so many headaches.
Have you spoken to him about
Have you spoken to him about this? Does he know your feelings, thoughts, and concerns? You need to be open and let him know you are lacking affection which isn't good in a relationship. I can't imagine he'd like you going elsewhere, so have a chat with him and let him know he has to step it up or you have moves to make.
Think how nice it would be not to have to ask.
Yea, if he's not a natural "giver" of affection, you must demand it. Let him know he gets a rub after you get a rub.
But I'd also say this is an outgrowth of who he is -- he's naturally a taker, not a giver. If you aren't stuck in marriage, think about whether always having to ask for what you want will be enough for you in the long run. There are a lot of men out there who are natural givers. Think how nice it would be not to have to ask.
Get him to sit on the couch
Get him to sit on the couch with you facing each other, in order to give each other a foot rub. You only rub when he is rubbing your feet. Worked for me.
If find this very difficult
If find this very difficult to understand when so many people say that most first marriages 'end' because there wasnt enough affection/sex.
What is the point of being in a relationship if there's no affection?? its just a friendship! And you are just a maid, babysitter and background noise.
I would never tolerate being with someone who wouldnt show me affection in front of kids. My SO DD27 cried her eyes out to her mother because she saw us kissing outside one day apparently. I know for a fact we werent doing anything in front of her... but she made a huge big deal about it and made out she was so traumatised by seeing affection FFS.
if my partner and I stay together (which is probably not going to happen) I will make a point of being SUPER AFFECTIONATE if shes ever around. NO ONE tells me who I can and cant show love/affection to. NO ONE.