Idk for sure but I always thought that a portion of dh's estate would automatically go to the kids. Like if he pays 20% for cs then 20% of his estate would go to his kids. Idk where I heard that or why I thought that so I could be way wrong.

Everyone needs to get a will - Tx mommy of 3 no that is not how it works - if you have a will they go by that - as someone posted above if the father dies the children get Social Security. When DH and his ex divorced she tried to get him to pay for a million dollar life insurance policy for her and SS - DH said no way if I die then he will get social security - DH and I actually have wills and life insurance policies and we have made sure that if either one of us dies before either of our children are 21 the money goes to my sister and she disburses it so that BM can never get her grubby hands on our money. If Dh dies SS would get about $900 in SS a month - more than he gets in CS so he would be taken care of. Even if you are young and just married get a will - you do not want your Stepkids inheriting half of the house that you and your spouse live in - especially if you are helping to pay for it.

Before my DH and I were married, he went to an atty to have a will and directive drawn up. If he passed before we were married....his estate (the house, the cars, 401k etc) would have went to the child, but if the child was a minor the guardian (BM) would be the one in charge of the estate of the child's behalf. Which means BM would go shopping.

If you have a house together, you have to check the deed. When we got the cabin, the realtor said that there is 2 different ways to do the deed. One way is if one spouse dies the property does to the other spouse. The other way that the deceased share gets divided between the survivors. Again if the child is a minor....guess who is in charge of the child's portion? The survivor could be forced to buy the child out by the BM. When the realtor told me that I had this vision of BM wanting to move into her "half" of the house. I think this is just soooo screwed up.

And watch out for your state laws.
In New Zealand when you divorce any Wills written beforehand become null and void. Here in NE the most recent Will stands. So for a couple of weeks if DH died then his ex would have got her hands on his insurance etc, Not bloody likely!

I made it VERY clear in my Will that anything I brought into our marriage (crystal and ornaments which mean nothing really but they belong in MY family)was to go to my kids etc. And DH did the same thing. There was no reason for his Grandfather clock made by his father to go to my kids.

The rest? They can fight over.

Apart from SS17 all our kids are over 19 (Adult age in Nebraska) so no ex can grab the cash etc. DH just needs to hang in there for 18 more months and we are home dry. YES!

I think there are different laws in different states. My first dh died without a will. Any jointly owned property came directly to me. As far as his personal property the first 15,000 of the estate went to me-after that i believe I would get 50 per cent and then all children involved would split the remaining amount. There was nothing over 15,000 so it never got that far. it is also 15,000 after all the debts are paid. Cs stops when a parent dies-if your dh died the bm would have to go and file social security. My dh and I's property is all jointly owned-with the exception of our home which is in my name alone. Dh's life insurance all goes to me, his pension and annuity all go to me. Dh and I did have some disagreements (which in retrospect I feel like were fueled by mil)in which he wanted to either name ss as a beneficiary (which absolutely not as it would go to bm), and then his second option would be for mil to be named as a beneficiary so she could take care of ss. frankly, the whole discussion insulted me-I've been more involved and done more for ss then mil. I would probably be far more cautious with ss-I dont think I'd ever give him a cent, but I'd probably buy him a car and pay for college.

I'm glad this came up because this has been on my mind. My DH has been telling me ever since we got together that he wasn't going to live past 40. He's 38, getting ready to turn 39 this year. We have life insurance but I'm not one to mess around so I've been seriously considering getting additional insurance just in case. Anyways, he's had a couple close calls and he's told me on several occasions that he wanted everything to come to me and then for me to give what i thought was fair to the kids when they got to the right age. However, reading everything above leads me to believe we better get a will and get his wishes in writing, just in case. He has me listed on all of his beneficiary forms and has MIL listed in the event i'm dead too. It is a morbid thought for sure but is also a hard reality and i'd rather have everything ironed out before hand in case the inevitable does happen.