joint finances and child support - advice please!
despite being engaged and living together, my fiance and i have kept all monies separate. he would now like to establish a joint account for purposes of the household expenses.
here is my question. i know that the courts cant take my income into consideration when calculating his child support. however, i assume that if asked/required we must present bank statements from ALL bank accounts with my fiance's name on them, even if they include someone else's name on them, correct?
aside from the fact i dont want BM or anyone else knowing what i make, is this concept in any way detrimental to what he might be ordered to pay or detrimental in any other way? also, if they received a statement, how would they know who put what money into the joint account? do they even ask for bank statements? We've never been thru a CS increase request, and when CS was initially calculated, all my fiance had to do was sign and notarize a form wherein he listed his financials and attested they were trued (of course BM lied on hers, but no matter, here in MA the mother's income and expenses are irrelevant, they only look at the father).
my gut is telling me not to combine funds until CS ends but of course that is at minimum 4.25 years away when she turns 19, and possibly as much as 8.25 if she goes to college (although we are doubtful on that one).
i am fortunate, my fiance
i am fortunate, my fiance does not spend one dime on SD beyond the CS. i completely trust him with money, which is a shame in a way because if things were "normal" with no skid or bm to worry about then we'd have just one checking and one savings to share with no other monies - something i NEVER would have considered with my ex or anyone else for that matter.
I would keep them separate
I would keep them separate because if it ever came down to it, yes, any account with his name and SS# attached to it can be scrutinized (for other things besides CS, too).
My SD's are 26 & 23 and DH and I still do not have one joint account. It just works for us.
http://www.steptalk.org/node/
http://www.steptalk.org/node/174261
I asked a similar question a while ago (see above). Basically most people where against combining finances. But as far as I can tell it doesn't really affect CS. And if you are filing taxes jointly anyway then you will probably have to submit that to the court. Most of the responses I got were more from an emotional angle, in not wanting BM to know about finances, or not trusting their SO with monetary matters or making sure they always had their own reserve of cash to get at if they needed to leave quickly. No one had really any first hand experience of having their finances being taken into account in CS calculations (I can only think of Rags who says that his were, but that it didn't really affect it all that much and that was as a custodial step parent).
Having said that for completely separate reasons I do now have my own bank account, though as I am still unemployed I have no income.
I think that putting a small amount into a bank account for joint household expenses with a man that you trust financially isn't that big a deal. I imagine that BM knows what type of job you have and could guess at a rough salary which would easily cover the few hundred a month your going to put in to cover bills. She still would have no way to know how much money you have elsewhere even if the details of this account were revealed to the court.
btw I haven't experienced my husband and BM going to court over CS so I have no experience of that. Hopefully others on here will be able to help with direct court experiences.
excellent point. he's no
excellent point. he's no deadbeat, and has always paid in full and on time, but a job loss could certainly occur in any one's future.
Yes that is true, but with
Yes that is true, but with what you are talking about I would assume that you would only ever have a little more than a month's worth of expenses in the account at any one time. So that money would be at risk. But as soon as your SO loses his job you could stop your payments into the account so that no further money is accessible. And I don't know about you but I have a financially responsible partner and if he were to lose his job I would be willing to cover his expenses for a few months until he managed to find something else, as he is currently doing for me. I would expect and want to pay CS as part of that. It is up to you to decide what you are comfortable with.
i would absolutely support my
i would absolutely support my fiance or spouse financially in a job loss.
but i would not pay his CS for him. but he and i both have healthy savings accounts so he could dip into that for his CS but leave it untouched otherwise.
DH & I have a joint account.
DH & I have a joint account. Basically all money goes in there. We have our 'separate' accounts we get a flat allowance in. We both can spend whatever out of the joint account, we just ask if it ends up being over like $100 or so. All 'wants' come out of our 'allowance' accounts (me getting my nails done, DH going to the barber shop or buying a new tool, etc) but if we are short on money in those accounts DH & I will agree to spend joint account money on some things.
DH had a child support mod after we joined accounts. They just asked for tax returns & W2's. No bank statements.
DH's CS comes straight out of his paycheck. He has never been behind, ever. Even with CS coming out of his check (a smaller amount than most here, he just has SD & has her 35% of the year so that's calculated in, plus he provides her health insurance) he makes about $400 more a month than me, now. His job is salary + comission so there was a time he made much much less than me. We are both young (got married in early 20's) & knew things would be rough when careers were starting out. My job is a flat salary pay, so his growth has been faster & better. I knew that going in, so I did pick up slack for him I guess by putting more into our joint account when we first got married. & now he puts in more than I do. I don't put much thought into it, our bills our paid & we still have extra left over (we save about $1000 a month, still go out to eat, both have nice cars & we own a home, etc). If we weren't comfortable financially I could see this being more of an issue. SD's wants aren't large, she likes some new clothes here & there & he pays for her summer camp by trading his services at work to the camp & they let her go for free. Since DH pays health insurance BM pays the first $250 of all deductables/OOP expenses. BM does not get money outside of what is court ordered.
We do use the joint account for Christmas gifts, birthday gifts, and 'kid' vacations we take for SD. Like I said, we've never been hurting for money so it doesn't bother me. & it's never more than like $100-$200 each time. (We aren't big on giving tons of gifts, just a few things she really wants. Relatives send stuff so she's still spoiled lol)
If it ever got to where this was a problem, for either of us, we would just split things. No hard feelings. DH is bad with money, so it's easier this way - I make sure all the bills are paid. DH is the type to see there's more money than usual, & not realize he forgot to pay his car payment lol.
We also file taxes together. Again, DH has never been behind on CS so his tax return is never garnished. When he needed to turn in tax returns for the CS mod, we just blacked out my info. It wasn't used for the calculation.
Edit to add: if DH was ever behind or owed back CS, I wouldn't combine accounts. Also, I don't care really if BM sees how much I make. She can't touch it, & that's awesome
lol. I think it all depends on your DH's CS situation, your relationship situation (if you're thinking of divorce, obviously you need to split finances) & the state you live in & it's laws.
I'm reading this post and
I'm reading this post and comments with interest because DW wants us to have a joint account as well.
DW is normally very good when it comes to money handling and assuming her burden of the cost of running our home. Her only "weakness" is SS. It's only been in the past year that DW has actually learned to say "No!" to SS whenever he asked for money (or something that cost money). Until then it was "yes", "maybe", or "not now, later".
So I just don't know.
In a way, it feels like being asked to open up a bar with a friend and trusted business partner but who happens to be a reformed alcoholic. Sure you trust them, but you never know when they might keel over and binge in a momentary flash of weakness.
Oh I totally see that, if DH
Oh I totally see that, if DH was always giving SD money or buying stupid things, we wouldn't have joint accounts.
We live pretty frugally, & SD's mom lives poor, so she's thankful for everything. She's only 7, I can take her to the dollar tree & let her get 7 toys for $7 & I'm a saint for months. So we luckily don't have that issue.
this is all helpful and
this is all helpful and pretty much agrees with what i had already concluded on my own. the validation helps tho!
it also further solidifies for me the decision to wait until SD turns 18 to marry. while he still has CS obligations until 19 or 23, i would only potentially be under scrutiny for at most 2 CS increase requests (one when she turns 18, the other when she turns 21, if she makes it that far).
Thanks!
Yup, stay separate. Even with
Yup, stay separate. Even with FDH making more $$ than I and he is soon to get a 2nd job (because he wants to, Meh. Whatever, I'll still get to see him during the week), He told me not to worry about our bills, and I could leave my job if I wanted to.
I told him No. I will not leave my job, all my money will go to my bills or it will go into a savings account and frankly, you wont have any access to it. I will NEVER AGAIN be put in a situation I can't get out of because my own stupidity. I do love you and trust you. However, I am no one's fool.
Effectively, it depends on
Effectively, it depends on your situation.
For CS they ask for proof of INCOME, not proof of savings etc. Generally, your income is not taken into consideration because legally they are not your child, you shouldn't be asked to support them.
You can quite easily have a joint account just for household bills, do a simple spreadsheet work-up of all the monthly expenses for the 'house-hold' then divide it by 2, that's what get's put into that account by each of you on pay day - Nothing more. Anything else you WANT to buy, you buy, any other money you make, stays in your account and vice versa.
DH and I are very independent people, both of us have real estate portfolios in our own right and both earn quite a substantial income, and we have a joint account that house-hold expenses are withdrawn from, and we use it for holidays also - we will deduct flights and what not from it and just put all of the money in there - it's much simpler than dealing with cash or two cards etc.
In my sig is my FB account - If you want to PM there or on here (although I'm still getting used to the site as I'm only new, so I will have trouble getting to the message section) I would be more than happy to offer some more personalized advice as I have been managing some tricky finances for many years now.