I wanted to make my own post so that people would read it the other one was so long..but iam so SO SO glad i found that post because iam going through the same exact thing at this very moment..but different circumstances..see my SD6 BM was uninvolved in my SDs life for the entire 2 years that me and her dad have been together, so I basically filled the role of BM because SD had no BM. Well up until recently BM has taken us back to court AGAIN to try and gain custody AGAIN..shes an ex felon, young dumb and stupid..has 3 kids with 3 different fathers. has a habit of straightening out then messing up awhile later again..so before she got involved as i stated in a previous post..my SD would cry at night..begging me to let her call me "mommy"..and I told her that we didnt want to hurt her mommys feelings but that we could come up with our own special name that meant mommy to us..so she came up with one and i accepted it and loved it when she called me that..well now her BM has unsupervised visits and my SD goes over there for 9 hours every other weekend.. so imagine fulfilling this low lifes shoes for 2 years..and being a happy complete little family..and she comes walking back in wanting things to go back to her being mommy..i cant just back down all together and let her be mommy..ive been doing this role to long..so tonight we picked up SD and my BF asked her why she calls me **** ( her nick name for mommy) and what it means to her..and she goes " I call her ****, because shes my *****" and my boyfriend goes well what does **** mean? and she says, oh I meant it means **** ( my name instead of mommy). and he asks her well why cant you call her mommy and she goes because itll hurt mommys feelings...this little girl has been begging me, even when her BM was involved in her life to call me mommy..and now all of a sudden she doesnt want to call me that any more..crushed me so bad..hurt so bad..i cried the whole drive home.. but i realized that when she gets older she will probably have the same resentments that I have for my own BM..because she use to talk so much smack about my dad who was raising me without her help and I hated her for it..because my dad did a great job with me...and of course your BF or husband doesnt understand what your going through its their biological child..which makes it even more difficult..does it get any better? you just got to keep loving the child and proving the other party wrong..