I think BM is dying!
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I'm going to try to keep this short and sweet, but BM has been really sick for the past 2 years and it's only getting worse. She went in to have surgery on something a few months ago and hasn't recovered from it since. She is always sick and in the hospital. We have full time custody of the 2 skids and they don't go over on weekends anymore because of her health. We only got full time custody back in October, so I'm still getting used to them being around ALL the time! I just need a break 
Tonight, when you go to bed and say your prayers, say a little one for your BM's health. As much as I dislike our BM, the last thing I wish for her is death!!!
Agreed. BM is a real biotch
Agreed. BM is a real biotch to everyone, even SD6 with her fragile self-esteem.
I'm with you. I would gladly
I'm with you. I would gladly take skids full time if it meant never dealing with that woman ever again.
Not sure what she has, but I
Not sure what she has, but I think it's bad. A few years ago she had random bruises all over and was going to a bunch of different specialists around here. She was also throwing up alot. Next thing I hear, she's getting surgery (this is her second one in the last 2 years). I don't know on what, but then it got infected. The infection went away (that I know of) and now she's still throwing up and in the ER again. The strange thing though was yesterday she wanted us to drop off the boys to her. She asked if we could feed them before we took them because she just ordered in and didn't order enough for them too. That's fine. We feed them and drop them off. Not half an hour later we get a text from ss11 asking to be picked up because their mom is going to emergency. Um... what?!?! I guess she's been sick all week, but waited til right then to go to the ER (after ordering take out). IDK. That part didn't make much sense to me, but she is sick and this isn't an attention thing (like we thought it was initially).
Thanks for the prayers
We have no relationship with
We have no relationship with BM. We have completely removed ourselves from her because of all the drama she's caused us in the past. If you give her an inch, she takes a mile. She used the boys are bait to make FDH do (or try to do) whatever she demanded. Last night when FDH went to pick up the boys, I told him to make sure that BM has a ride to the ER and if she doesn't to drive her. He said if she doesn't, he'll give her money for a cab cause he thought it would be weird to drive her. Lol!!! Whatever. She had a ride. We don't ever have this girl at our house. We are strangers to her and honestly, I don't want her. She's not mine and she's not FDH's. She's BM's! I tolerate the boys because they are FDH's. I love them, but not like I'd love a child of my own or even a niece or nephew. That's BM's fault though. She made our lives hell when I first got into the picture. I really feel bad for the girl, but I know that my resentments would build too much to take on a kid that is FDH's ex's and not FDH's.
I sometimes warn step-mothers
I sometimes warn step-mothers to be that one of the things they must consider is the possibility of the death or disappearance of the bio-mother leaving them with the kids full time.
You didn't mention bio-kids with your husband/boyfriend. If there are none then consider bailing out.
I'm not going to bail out. I
I'm not going to bail out. I love my FDH. He is supportive of me for the most part. If I have an issue with what his boys are doing, I tell him and he deals with them. He isn't a Disney Dad... he WAS, but isn't anymore. lol. We've been through hell and high water over the past 10 years and have always come out on top. I'm not saying things have been perfect, but his willingness to try is what makes me stay :). The thing is, I really need a break. I just recently lost my full time DREAM JOB (my contract was up) and am struggling with being at home 24/7. I have always been very career driven, which is why I have no kids of my own. I never really wanted any. Always wanted to adopt. Sometimes I get baby fever but it goes away (and then comes back, lol. Hopefully I can ward off the feeling everytime). My FDH car died on us last month so I have nothing to drive because he needs the truck for work. I know that it's on my end for needing the break. Nothing the kids have done. I'm just going stir crazy and this stay at home mom stuff SUCKS!!! I just need to go somewhere.
My SD is 22 and I still pray
My SD is 22 and I still pray for BM's well being. SD22 and her 2 kids live with BM, since SD is completely helpless. No way are the 3 of them moving in with me but DH would feel sooooo guilty, which in turn would make me feel bad. I still wouldn't let them move in, but.....
Plus, I don't wish for anybody to lose their mother.
I do get what tog is saying, though. I sometimes felt the same way, I just didn't really want it to happen since I never wanted children to begin with.
Yeah. My SS's are 13 and 11.
Yeah. My SS's are 13 and 11. They have a younger sister that's 7 (not FDH's). YSS asked us awhile ago what is going to happen to his sister if his mom gets any sicker? The girls dad isn't in the picture. I don't know if that's BM's choice or his. SS wants his sister to move here if it comes down to it. I TRULY do NOT want anything to do with this kid. She's not mine, she's not FDH's. This whole thing is making me feel like such a bitch for feeling the way I do. I just don't know what to do but take one day at a time.
On a side note, the kids don't seem phased by their mom being sick. Not at all. It's strange to me, but maybe they just don't show their feelings. IDK.
They're kids, they don't
They're kids, they don't realize how sick she is and what that really means.
Who is taking care of the girl now, with BM being so sick and in the hospital? No way would I take in a third kid who is not even FDH's. Yes, I am a bitch.
Last I heard the girl was
Last I heard the girl was with her on again off again bf's mom. She lives out of town so the girl has missed over a month of school in the past 2 months. When BM was married 2 years ago (with the father of the girl) and found out she was sick, she called FDH and asked him if she were to die if her husband could adopt the boys :jawdrop: FDH has been in the picture their entire lives and said HELL NO to that one!!! That's how we even found out about her being sick in the first place.
That's too bad. Losing your
That's too bad. Losing your mom has to be tough, especially for kids.
I will keep all of you in my prayers, including BM. Please be there for the kids and give them extra love and support. Maybe they could benefit from counseling too.
They don't really talk to
They don't really talk to each other too much. She's taken us on a ride so many times we've lost count. He has full custody of the kids, so I don't really know what there would be to talk about. It's between the two of them. I've always left all communication to be between them. After all, she's his ex, not mine.
A lot of times I catch myself
A lot of times I catch myself wishing death on BM. That said I think my heart would break for my SD7. It is one of those things that I can say daily I wish she was dead not thinking about how that would effect the skids. However, when it really came down to it I don't think it would be a happy thing I do love my skids!
If she's really terminally
If she's really terminally ill, then someone (DH, in-law, etc.) needs to have a very serious conversation with her about how/when the children will be told about her condition, and who she wants to take care of the girl. Although you have no legal obligation to take her in, she is the boys half-sister and if they can at least maintain a relationship in the future that would be beneficial for all of them.
She needs to have a will, she needs to have a power of attorney and she needs to have an end of life directive (how much life support, for how long, etc.) and identify who will be making these decisions. If she is terminal, then the local hospice organization can help with all this and her physicians can refer her.
Those are all of her
Those are all of her responsibilities. We will of course help the boys maintain a relationship with their sister, but my fiancé and I talked and both agreed that neither one of us want to take her in. He says any new kids in this relationship will be our own!! The boys already know how sick she is as she would always bring them into the hospital for treatments (dont know what kind of treatments). She never sheltered them from thjngs like that.
lol! I've thought this before
lol! I've thought this before too. I would stay far away from skids. It would probably kill me to see DH dealing with their grief. I know that any tears he would shed would be for their sake, not hers, but still.
I can't say I want BM to die,
I can't say I want BM to die, but I would be fine with her just disappearing - never calling, never seeing SD again. SD would be very unhappy about it but she'd be better off. DH has full custody anyway so not much would change, except our stress from dealing with BM, and SD's "I'm going to MOOMMMMYYYY's" attitude would be gone. Of course if she's still alive there's always the chance she could come back.....
Your BM may have cancer. You mentioned treatments, chemo and radiation can cause vomiting and can make you bruise easier. Your DH should try to find out what's going on. At the very least watching their mom slowly die might be easier to handle with counseling, or even just having someone who knows whats going on that they can talk to and ask questions. I feel bad for the kids, and for you. Becoming a full time mom basically overnight has to be hard.
I don't wish death upon the
I don't wish death upon the Sperm Clan ... any longer. Now that SS-21 is a viable adult, self supporting and has put the Sperm Idiot and the Sperm Clan far behind him there is no need for them to be eliminated from the planet. Though stopping them from further degrading the human gene pool with their shallow and polluted genetic contribution would do humanity a huge favor.
I do pray that they all will stay buried under their rock and stay out of his life so that SS can avoid the embarrassment that they are.
I wouldn't wish death on BM.
I wouldn't wish death on BM. It's bad karma. I do, however, wish she'd crawl back under the rock she slithered from and stay there!
Our BM has healthy issues and
Our BM has healthy issues and I do pray for her. The thought of losing her is terrifying for me.