I am desperate! Pleeeeeeese help!
I am finally breaking down and asking for help from everyone and anyone.
Here is the situation.
I have a BD 10yrs old. She is a perfect little angel. Sweet, innocent, caring, polite, helpful, strait A student,and many, many other good qualities.
What's the problem you ask?
That is her "public personality"
At home she is mouthy, rebellious, stubborn, oblivious to rules, downright mean and many other bad qualities.
She has NF1 which is a nervous system disorder that she was born with. So it could be a medical thing....BUT...she sees 2-4 doctors a year and only one sees a problem and suggests getting psychological help, even referred her for it. The insurance company won't pay for it, and sliding scale fee clinics tell me that an income of 1,500.00 per month for a 9 person household is too much for them to be able to work with me.
I have tried punishing, restricting, taking away priviledges, rewarding good behavior incentive programs and everything else I canm think of that has worked for eveyone else and my other kids.
I have no doubt at all that she does have ODD.
The more she acts up, the stricter we get, then the more she acts up. It's an endless circle of negativity.
If we try ti "ignore" the bad behavior and only react to the positive she believes she got away with whatever she's doing and goes further the next time.
This is driving a wedge between me and Steve, hurting our other kids and has just today driven her grandfather out of the house at her Bio Dads.
Does anyone have any suggestions or ideas short of giving her to a military camp?
I love this child and don't want to give up but I am at wits ends(as well as every other adult in her life)
HHHHHHEEEEEELLLLLLPPPPPPP !!!!!!!!
Thank You
I feel your pain. I have a
I feel your pain. I have a SS7 who lives with us who doesnt even have a public personality. It is all of the bad things you mentioned all the time. Punishment, rewards, we have tried it all and nothing works here either. We cannot locate a child psychiatrist in our area who is accepting new patients and takes our ins. I am certain my SS has ODD as well. It affects our entire household and tempts me every day to just leave. I wish I had some helpful suggestions but I can only offer you my empathy because I know what you are going through. Does she have problems in school with her behavior? If so is the school doing anything to help her? Just curious because mine is in trouble every day at school yet they refuse to evaluate him.
My BD sounds alot like that
I have a BD (7) that was raped in the in home day care that she was going to when she was 3. She suffers from PTSD and has all of the signs of ODD. She is on psychotropic drugs for mood disorder and can have very bad outburst, she is very smart but her attitude gets her into alot of trouble, at home and school. We have good days and we have horrible days, she is very strong and is very hard at times to control her. She has cut her clothes, taken erasers and pencils to her arms, states alot that she is not liked. She has threatened to kill herself, always talks down on herself. I know alot of it is the horrible things that have happened to her, but it is very hard to deal with, she sees a counselor and has for awhile, but when we go to see the counselor she acts like an innocent little girl, refuses to tell him if she has harmed herself in anyway, it is always me telling him what she does, there is times I wonder if it is really helping her but I am so afraid that she is going to hurt herself, so I keep taking her, and try to stay positive. She very much wants to please everyone and when she doesn't then she talks very badly about herself, like she is not worth anything. I only put her on the medication to see if it would help her, at times it does and at times it doesn't, it seems like when the SK are here, she gets alot worse, there are more outburst and her self esteem goes way down. The school has started to step in with my request I am hoping they will back me up with the counselor, so I am not the only one he hears from about my daughters outburst. I am sorry I can't be of more help, but I also feel your pain. It is one of the worst things to not be able to kiss the wound and make it better. Hang in there. And always remind them how much you love them no matter how much they upset you.
And Gabby I must give you alot of credit, cause I don't know how long I could handle it from a SC, it takes alot.
I want to live, laugh and love again.
Have you ever tried...
This is merely a suggestion, but have you considered using some cameras around the home, recording her behavior and then having it played in a session with the therapist? First, she can't hide from that, and second, it shows the counselor what really happens on first account basis. You don't need fancy expensive cameras, Radio Shack or like place will do, and just hide them on a bookshelf, just maybe a couple in key areas where you and her are often at. The best are black and white security cameras that run on a circuit or a nanny cam.
Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...
d
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Thank you Most Evil, prayers
Thank you Most Evil, prayers help more than most people realize... and Gabby...she behaves in school and they don't see anything but her lack of homework being turned in regularly, which they then blame me for. So no they don't help me they blame me.She has been coming home lately telling me of problems with kids picking on her though....but she also comes home with awards and good comment notes from her classmatesabout her fairness, decency, and good manners. So I think she is smart enough to know to treat people right, she just doesn't care to do it for everyone, only people she likes. Typical of kids but wrong and I don't accept that from my kids towards anyone. If they are harmed or treated badly then they have the right to protect themselves but not the right to start trouble with someone else.
Lisa Dawn
thank you for the suggestions
I went to the sites and put them in my favorites...they do sound promising....but then my computer crashed so it will be a while before I can actually get on to look at them....In the meantime my daughter has a WONDERFUL teacher who is working on her behavior with me and we can hopefully figure out something to get her back on track.
Step MOm thank you for your suggestion and I would love to do that but my insurance won't cover any kind of counseling or therapy and while I am below poverty level income according to state guidelines I still make to much for assistance to get any kind of help.
So we are on opur own with this one. I am just grateful she has 2 bio parents and 2 step parents who love her and work together for the kids. there are many supportive adults in my childrens lives. Thank GOD!
Lisa Dawn