When you feel those feelings arise, it's helpful to remember that the kids are their own people, even if their behaviors and/or looks exactly mirror those of the BM. They have DH's DNA, too, so try to find something they have in common with him and focus on that. The kids also would pick to be in a different, better situation if they could. I think that is also true of both the bio and stepparents involved. Focusing on that can help a lot.

Do you exercise? Exercising is a great way to release tension and resentment. It has made me feel so much happier.

You might want to consider prayer, depending on your religious beliefs. Prayer has helped me tremendously. I would pray about the feelings I had, and I felt like a huge weight had come off my shoulders.

I agree with Anon. You need another outlet for your frustration, and those suggestions were both really good. After reading so many posts on here and seeing how horrible some of these skids act, I'm gaining a much needed perspective. I don't have problems with my skids (other than normal teenage things...I was a MUCH worse teen than them). In my situation it's the BM. I still get frustrated, but I'm learning to not resent the kids because of BM's actions. It takes work and a very supportive DH, but I'm feeling better about it. When BM does something irritating, I rant about HER (only to DH)...we rant together. When I take the responsibility off the skids, I see what sweet people they are (most of the time) and I want a relationship with them. I guess I'm just saying to try and channel your anger and frustration away from skid. It takes work, but it can be done!