Horrible weekend update on phone.
Sorry typed this on my phone hard to edit so bare with me
So we took sd13 phone away. Here is why and what we found. Long post sorry
She is sending boys pics of herself she shouldn’t. She doesn’t even know some of these guys.
She is getting pics from guys she doesn’t know and taking about dirty things she wants to do to them. When confronted she said she didn’t know any better
She is tellinf kids she goes to school with to go kill the self.
Some guy sent her a photo of our house from the road we live a good two three miles away from any one and sd said yes that’s my dads house she didn’t even know the guy she thought it was cool he could do that Some random guy she met online drove by our house. I am still upset about this one
there is a ton more but these are at at the top of our list
Ok now here is what we have figured out about bm that is a huge eye opener.
Bm was telling sd to steal from us. And sd is. Told her to just take money out of DH wallet he won’t notice
Bm is telling sd to take photos of things we have to prove we can afford to pay bm more and asking for codes for our garage. Bm also has been trying to have us give sd a key to the house which she doesn’t need
bm is telling sd if she refuses to come over DH will have to pay more in child support and they really need the money.
Bm has been checking sd out of school around 11 every day cause sd is tired of it.
Sd hate me and it’s becasue everything is my fault. If DH tells bm no sd can’t do something it’s my fault when bm tells sd
bm is telling sd ways to cause fights between me and dh. Telling her that her life would be better if I was gone.
Bm is taking sd to visit some guy in a local prison. They go once a week. It’s not bm familt we have no clue who it is.
Bm is running around on her husband with some guy. And telling sd all about it.
There is so much on this phone.
Welli have the receipt for the phone and bm is going crazy she wants it back. She said sd ha a right to privacy.
Dh isnt really talking to me right now. He’s dipressed. From what we can tell bm has done a really good job of turning sd against us. Sd and bm only see dh as a pay check.
In over all all this drama and sorta kinda hope she does stop coming over. She is disrespectful rude brat.
Notcto mention he laungue toward everyone in her messages f this n that. Telling people how worthless they are. Asking guys to break up with their gfs cause she will do what ever they want.
And then convos of sd getting detention and bm telling her she will deal with it. And sd can do no wrong. And sd saying the teacher needs to understand they she’s gonna talk durning class and just get over it and bm agreeing with sd.
What in in the world is wrong with this child. I knew she was trouble but now I am worried even more. I never thought it was this bad.
That is seriously crazy stuff
That is seriously crazy stuff. I wouldn’t even want her to come over... she is literally putting you in harms way. And the all the stuff with BM telling her to give her a key and codes to your house?! Seriously?! I wonder if you could get a restraining order?
Does BM know that you have seen all of this?!?! Wow/
BM sounds like an idiot.... I would totally threaten to use this all in court and push for whatever you want right now.
Bm has offered us money for
Bm has offered us money for the phone. She wants to back. She knows what’s all in it.
When dh told sd to hand phone over it took over an hour for her to give the passcode.
DH is scared how much trouble sd could get in with what’s on the phone.
He wants sd full time. But never makes an effort to go to court ( we did when she was 4 but not since.). If he wanted her I think he would go. I don’t want her full time I just don’t like who she is becoming.
I think as long as bm is around nothing will change at all. Sd is 13 almost 14. She is who she is. I am awful for wanting to write her off.
Whatever you do, do not let
Whatever you do, do not let your DH give that phone back- or provide to BM.
So what if SD got in trouble for it?! She should be!!!! BM should be as well.
Dont let this kid back in your house. Place big demands such as counselling, with receipts of confirmed visits,etc etc unless she wants social services involved. Having all that now gives you guys a huge upperhand to make some changes and stop crazy.
Your DH better not be blaming any of this on you- that is flippin insane.
Don’t do anything or say
Don’t do anything or say anything. These guys have no balls so keep the status quote as long as SD is not full time.
Maybe its SD's real daddy
Maybe its SD's real daddy they are visiting in prison. From what you have said about BM she is capable of cheating and lying about the child's partenity
i could only wish
i could only wish
Turn phone over to police and
Turn phone over to police and ask their thoughts. Let them know about the creepers and BM telling SD to steal from you.
If your DH wants custody, that phone will give it to him.
However, if it were me, I'd put my foot down and say SD isn't allowed in my home anymore. DH can do weekend visits that aren't overnight, and they can take place ANYWHERE PUBLIC that isnt your home. Your SD is only one comment away from accusing one of you of assaulting/raping/molesting her. Nip that NOW.
Also, nanny cams are your friend. Install some around the house (sans bedrooms and bathroom, but definitely outside bedroom doors and outside your home). Don't tell SD about them, but definitely have them for your own protection.
Your DH better reattach his gonads, because this is NOT a time to be depressed and sad about this. If he wants to be a father, he needs to act like it.
Oh. My. God. What in the
Oh. My. God. What in the actual f*ck?? I agree with what everyone else said, I wouldn't want this girl in my home either. However, I'm sure your DH would disagree if you said that. This is very serious stuff. She is 13 and sending pics and telling guys what she wants to do to them??? I mean, it's all terrible, so it's hard to pick out what is most disturbing. Obviously the guy sending a pic of your house is scary. But she is telling kids at school to kill themselves. If she was ever allowed in my house again, she would be made to apologize, put in counseling, phone taken away forever and all social media shut down, and pretty much grounded for life. What if a kid actually did kill themselves?? People go to jail for that kind of bullying!
3 things:
-Counseling
-Only off-site visits with dad. IF, this devil-spawn is allowed back in your house, grounded for life pretty much, plus the aforementioned social media/phone consequences. I would not play with this girl, she needs to know you both mean business.
-Some kind of boot camp. If you don't nip this in the bud, this is going to get worse. She is on a path to end up right in jail, and possibly worse, as a terrible person in general.
-Definitely nanny cam and cameras.
Thank you everyone. DH is
Thank you everyone. DH is having a bad day he is regretting taking the phone ( I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY). SD from what I understand wants nothing to do with our house or our side of the family. Any time a rule is sat down in the past DH has backed off when SD said she was done with us.
I have told him a million times he cant do that, she cant throw a hissy fit and get her way. Hes pretty pissed at me right now ( which i dont think its me i think its the sisuation.)
Wow, that is stupid. My
Wow, that is stupid. My daughter is the same age and if I saw ANY of that on her phone she would NEVER have a phone again.
Well. Time for you to FULLY disengage and let DH help BM destroy his daughter’s future. When she becomes a teen mom or in jail don’t contribute a penny to helping him bail her out of that mess.
I agree, I wish DH would just
I agree, I wish DH would just let her go but thats awful to say about a parent and child I know.
omg
So I have been through a few of your situations but not all of them. First, she has lost the privelege of a cell phone. If she can't act responsibly, she doesn't deserve the phone. My at the time 14 y/o sd went through some of this. My DH actually went and confronted a couple of the guys at their jobs. He also had a couple convos with the police department. If your sd is only 13 there may be some laws being broken by the guys depending on age. Your dh needs to step up and go to the police also. If she's got a computer, time to search it. If she uses any sort of chrome book at school, time to have it searched. If she's missing all that school at what point does the school step in and call it truancy? If your dh wants his child to have a shot at a future then he needs to put on his man pants and start doing something about all of this. If he takes the sit back and wait approach, then he is to late. As for bm, you will be happier in the long run if you realize you have no control whatsoever over her nor her actions. I think you are probably a good candidate for disengaging completely. I would worry that she is stealing and that there are men taking pictures of your house. Daddy needs to start with some tough love. Your hands are tied, disengage or this will all drive you nuts. Let those 2 try to dig her out of this hole they let her put herself into.
I am totally stepping out. I
I am totally stepping out. I told DH not to be made but I will not be dealing with SD at all this weekend. I really dont even want to talk to her.
I am going to just go about my weekend, if she wants to treat me like crap then I am just done. DH was ok with it, and I think hes getting to that point.
I never thought about her school laptop I would love for it to have filters on it so she cant do anyhting wrong.
I second the idea of turning
I second the idea of turning the phone over to the police, especially since there is evidence of cyberbullying and sexual innuendo on it. SD is heading into big trouble if she continues down this road. And, since you and DH are aware of what is on the phone, you may find yourselves entangled legally in SD's acts as it could be proven that you had prior knowledge and did nothing.