Help! Proving BM is lying about SD18 living with her to Collect CS
Ok...younger step kid Recently told us older sister moved in with her BF about one month ago. Of course BM never said a word as she wants to collect the child support. DH has to pay CS till step kids reach 21 BUT if they move out he no longer has to pay. Here is the problem...how do we PROVE this. SD18 no longer talks to us(thank god) as she refused to follow DH’s rules so he can’t ask SD18 if she moved out. BM is VERY smart I’ll give her that so I’m thinking she’s covered everything she could as far as making it “look” like SD18 still lives there. Younger step told us SD18 still has her “Bedroom set” at BM’s. SD18 also has a job at Burger King but don’t know how many hours.
Is there ANYTHING we can do to prove SD18 is living with the BF? We have an attorney but not sure what he can do.
Ask your attorney what kind
Ask your attorney what kind of proof would be needed. I wonder if she is still using BM's address as her official address?
My SD got married and tried to keep it a secret so that DH would not know to have CS terminated. She told on herself, though!
Hire a private investigator,
Hire a private investigator, shut off any CS related to SD-18 and then go after BM to recover fraudulently collected CS with penalties and interest. The IRS penalty and interest tables are a great reference for going after idiots for this kind of stupid crap. Work with your attorney to make sure you build an effective strategy and compile all of information and evidence you will need.
This just pisses me off.
BM needs to be smacked in court and SD-18 should be cut off completely and permanently for this crap. A lie of omission is no less a lie.
Is SD a Child attending
Is SD a Child attending School? Most states don't require CS until 21 unless that's the case. Even if she lives with her boyfriend and is attending school she's still entitled to CS. If she's working and attending school she's entitled to CS. What state are you in?
NY state
no she is not in school. NY state CS going to 21 BUT I believe if SD18 is living with BF BM can’t get CS
Ooooooo. NY. Family law and
Ooooooo. NY. Family law and CS in NY is F'd up beyond any semblance of intelligence.
Dead on!
The whole court system in New York automatically assumes every non-custodial father is a total deadbeat loser and Custodial moms are pure angels. BM is a Helicopter parent who has NO life, does not date EVER and Her whole existence revolves around these brats. The Family Court judge actually said how wonderful BM Was to put her life on hold(meaning no BF or Remarriage) to Devote her life For the children. No joke I heard it with my own ears. No wonder NY is so screwed up as we have all these spoiled Entitled brats who grow up and Pollute society
The left coast courts are no better.
The judge in our case stated "Any child would be blessed to have the love and support of this wonderful family."
Referring to the SpermClan of course. And a Spermidiot who is a serial statutory rapist, a ganbanfer wannabe with an arrest record a yard and a half long, who neglected SS to the point that he would come home from visitation as a toddler stinking like a septic worker, in a diaper that had no been changed in days, with butt rott so bad his anus would bleed when we would clean him up and his ass cheeks were covered in puss filled welts, etc, etc, etc.
Hire a private investigator,
Hire a private investigator, preferably a female one (after the world stops sheltering in place). A good PI can quckly suss out the truth. Imagine that chatty lady who befriends your SD in the laundromat or at Starbucks. It could be money well spent.
Of course....you also need to
Of course....you also need to weigh the cost of doing this plus the cost of going to court vs the amount of money he would be paying out during this time. It's quite likely this BF situation will be on/off as many a young romance is.. he could get part way through this process and they could break up.. and bang.. she is back with BM and BM is entitled to pmt.
My DH pays 1K in NY for one
My DH pays 1K in NY for one 20-year-old. It would totally be worth it to pay a private investigator.
OP - how about social media? Can you stalk that and find out?
Wow.. that IS a lot... of
Wow.. that IS a lot... of course there is still the matter of young love being fickle.. and it's entirely likely that the girl will be back living with mom anyway before they would get this in front of a judge. It is hard to tell the difference between the girl sleeping over at BF's vs really living there... but if it is significant money.. OP's DH should pursue figuring it out!
Read the statute
Honestly, you need to read the statute or ask your attorney. There are too many variables and NY CS is so dumb. What happens when they break up and she moves back home? What if she is still a "dependent", as in BM is paying her rent.
How old is the current order? Has DH's income gone up dramatically? Be careful because the CS could go up. DH should at least petition to have the CS paid to SD.
What if she is still a
What if she is still a "dependent", as in BM is paying her rent.
^^^^^ Exactly. You need to find out the exact stipulations of emancipation in your state. If SD is not considered self-supporting, it may not matter who she lives with. Now, if they got married....
Good Luck with this. Lets say
Good Luck with this. Lets say she shacking up with lover boy.
BM will twist it in court saying her home is STILL with bm and once in awhile she has sleep overs with lover boy. OR better yet, how dare DH assume his daughter has less than of good morals. pfft.
Bm will still get her money.
Its like playing whack a mole. It is going on with us too. But totally totally different circumstances. I am just blown away with what is overlooked over and over again in court rooms across this country.
Proving something like this
Proving something like this would mean you would have to go to trial. It would probably cost DH more to prove that sd moved out that it would to pay the remainder of CS. Also, adult dependent childen can waive their right to participate in court proceedings so SD would not have to provide any information to him, it would all go through BM.
I'm sure it can and has been done but it will be costly, take a long time, and may not be worth the headache in the end.