Having trouble getting along with my girlfriend
My girlfriend is a divorced mother of 2 kids. We have been together for 2 years now. I feel lately it has been very difficultt to get along with her. I don't know if its me or her. For example I believe sometimes she is careless when it comes to planning certain things. If I finally have a day off work I want to spend it with her and will try to please her and make her happy, take her out places, etc. However I feel like even though she says thanks and we get along on the date for the most part, she quicky forgets me and take me for granted and the things I do to put into our relationship. Last week I took her to dinner and got tickets to a show to see her favorite band. We got along well. The next day however we had a small disagreement over something very stupid that ended up becoming bigger than it had to be. She planned to take her kids to the water park the next day and didn't tell me. No big deal. I didn't have my swim trunks and am taking medication that makes me sun sensitive. I have to quit taking it the day before so I dont get burned severly. I cant go. No big deal but I told her she couldve mentioned it to me the day before. She got irritated and said "Well I didn't know we didn't plan it" We spent the day apart which was fine but then I met her back at her place and her decides to punish me for not going by barely speaking to me. She then phones a male coworker about work related stuff and is very flirty and friendly with him on the phone in front of me while ignoring me completely. She also took back an invite she gave me to a family event she that weekend because we had a fight and she wanted to know "If we were together or not and if we were I needed to start appareciating her" WTH? Its more like the other way around. She completely forgot the date I took her on the day before and everything Ive done for her (free vacations, many free meals and concerts, etc) and her kids (helped raise them, cooked for them, babysat, took them out for meals, was present at their games and school events , etc) It reminds me of simliar disagreements we have had in the past where she has turned on me for bringing up her sons behavior and began yelleing at me for it over something that shouldnt be a blow out. Then she took a trip out of town the following week to visit a male friend I had never met before. She seems to like to play games and induce jealousy if I don't just go along with everything wether it is her poor planning, her childrens poor behavior, etc. This doesnt seem fair and it results in me feeling pretty bad about myself. She also seems to forget anything I do for the relationship or her kids completely and is quick to get rid of me if I just dont go along with whatever. Anyone experience this?
Is this the relationship you want?
If things stayed exactly the same, is this someone you'd want to be with long term? You said it yourself, she seems to like to play games and induce jealousy. Is that what you want in a relationship?
When we first meet people they're on their best behavior and it takes years to see the "real" person in all their flawed glory. I don't know how much time you have invested but if you guys are still in the "dating" stage and she's acting like this, I don't see it getting better with time. Expect that it'll get worse.
Head on over the website
Head on over the website shrink4men.com. Sounds like you got one of those crazy girlfriends to deal with.
You are not having a problem
You are not having a problem getting along with your girlfriend, she's having a problem getting along with you.
What does that mean?
What does that mean?
It means you are not the one
It means you are not the one doing anything wrong. She's acting like an ass.
She sounds very immature and
She sounds very immature and unappreciative. You very well might have to let his one go. It sounds like it wouldn’t hurt you to see who else is out there. She also could use a little dating experience so she can see that many men won’t be so nice and giving to her and her kids and she lost a good one due to her immaturity, selfishness, game playing and moods.
Maybe it’s time to move on
I think that it’s probably time to move on if this behavior doesn’t significantly improve. I would talk to GF, explain how her behavior makes you feel unappreciated and left out. Set your boundaries regarding her visits with other men. She doesn’t have to abide by them, but you arw free to leave if she disrespects you and makes you feel she is unfaithful. The sad part is losing the relationship with the kids, but mom is making it unhealthy for everyone. If you aren’t practicing safe sex, start. The last thing you need is GF having a chold to further hurt or manipulate you with.
She sounds very disrepsctful
She sounds very disrepsctful and thoughtless towards you.
My gut instinct is she is
My gut instinct is she is cheating on you and picking fights to have an excuse. Nothing you do will ever be good enough for her. She is staying for the free ATM.
this part:
this part:
Then she took a trip out of town the following week to visit a male friend
Would be enough of a deal breaker for me.
Actually, being all flirty with a coworker of the opposite sex would be a deal breaker for me.
Actually... just generally being a b!tch would be the deal breaker.
Get outta there.
She doesn't sound like
She doesn't sound like someone that wants your relationship to work. I'd cut my losses and run. She's manipulating you and situations.
Maya Angelou said...
when someone shows you who they are....BELIEVE THEM.
This behavior is who she is. Rather than communicate with you when the two of you have discourse, she withholds, becomes passive agressive, sets unatainable expectations and "tries to induce jealousy".
Back in the day I used to believe that a good relationship meant that there was "more in the good column than in the bad column". That is complete bullsh*t. A good relationship is built on mutual respect and trust. Yours is not.
Don't expect that she will change. Ask yourself "If my woman NEVER changes and is EXACTLY the same way for the next 10 years, can I ACCEPT it?"
If no, then go.