I understand this .....I feel the same way, my ss's live with thier mom FT but visits us EOW. So every time i say something about taking pictures, dh says yeah and the boys too :sick:

But he does understand how I feel so he suggested one picture with all of us and the others with just me and him then him with me and our kids ...so I can give these out to my side of the family.

But Just take the pictures when sd i out doing something, or do what I suggested above.

The only way around this is to take the whole fam, (SD too) to the portrait studio. Then take several different poses. A few of you and DH alone, few of all the kids together, a few of the kids separate, a few with DH and SD alone and so on and so on. You get the idea…then you will be able to get the ones you want, once the proofs come back.

If I was kicked out of the family pictures when I was being a bitch as a teen, I would have gone a few years without my picture being taken. LOL.

Oh boy, we go through this. DH and I met when SD was 5, married when she was 8. Every year he would get a picture of the two of them. So the first year we got married, he decided he needed a picture of the three of us. Pure torture. I can't even stand to look at that picture today. The following year, when baby BD was born, we had a picture of the four of us. Again, can hardly stand that photo. I finally dug in my heels (no more pictures of me with SD, who treated/treats me like crap). So we had no more photos for a long time. Then one year DH told me he would get a picture of me with our two BDs for Mother's Day. I thought that was sweet and really looked forward to it.

Day of the picture comes, who does DH take? Him and SD and my two BDs. Didn't want me along. WTH?! I'm sure my face was speaking volumes, but he ignored me. Walks out the door to the session. DH comes back that night with $180 worth of pictures! Are you kidding me?! I was SO mad! He did this weird combination of all three kids together and each of them alone. I'm still not over the ridiculousness of that situation!

Anyway, just the other day I made an appointment to get a picture taken of JUST our two BDs. If he doesn't like it, he can kiss my ass!

My mom always used to do one of me and her; one of dad and me and one off all of us. Just incase they ever split. It isnt wrong to do different pictures. My entire family does stuff like that and I know that Christmas time it is really going to bug my FDH at first but he will understand. After all if we don't work will he really want me in ALL of his FAMILY photos? He burned all the ones the BM was in so now he has none of his girls when they were little.

Yup i agree with all these ideas and suggestions. I look at it also as, someday i will pass away and my kids will have the pictures. It would be a bummer for THEM to not have any of our "mini family" (me and my biokids) or of them as siblings. I would feel bad thinking of them looking throught these pics and SS is always in them, or even DH (not the kids biodad)
Nope, i try to keep in perspective how many mini families are in the house and take mini pics and one off all.
I struggle with this cuz i know DH family is looking at my actions with a fine tooth comb. Thinking if i did one with my kids im excluding SS blah blah, so i dont. Then i remember, this is for MY kids too. Besides the in laws dont like me anyway. Damned if i do damned if i dont.
Ha, if i gave them a pic of "all" the kids or "all" of us, theyd probably moan under their breath how theyd prefer just "their" fam. Meaning DH and SS. LOL
Take your pics, if DH wants his kids in there and blah blah, then he can coordinate his own appointment!

This really gets under my skin. So many ppl get all up in arms about excluding the precious Sk's from pics. Well if I am getting pictures done that I am going to give to my family I am going to have them done of just DH, myself and our son. There are approxmiately 500,001 pics of SD at my IL's house, her missing a family photo shoot isn't going to kill anyone

One year, I sent a picture of my DS and DD to my mother for Mother's Day and didn't include SS in the picture or the card. DH later saw this at my mother's house and flipped shit! Although 2 months before that, we had family pics taken. Some with just DH and "his boys", just DD and me, just the kids, individuals, and a family pic. We had them all on a disc and MIL e-mails me asking if she can borrow the disc bc she would love to have some new pics of all of her boys...which CLEARLY meant she did not want pics of my DD or me...just my DH, SS and DS. Now it's awkward. When I get new pics taken of DD, I don't send any there way. Yet DH is made at me for trying to keep some pics seperate....and pretty much for the same reason everyone else is...you never know whats going to happen and heaven forbid, this doesn't work out, all the pics my family will have will include a little boy they will never see again lol granted he is my DS half sibling but still...

This is a hard one...I totally sympathize

I don't schedule portraits with SD...

I angle it like this...I need pictures of DS...I want to document his life as he's my only child...and while we're there, I want the photographer to capture DH and me, too...

DH made a big stink at first, but I told him if he wanted to take pictures with SD, he could set it up...I'd be happy to show up...He's never done it...OH well...(He's NEVER gotten pictures of SD...EVER...now it's supposed to be MY job to do it..? NERP!)

MIL has always made sideways comments regarding the fact that I hire a photographer to photograph us for Christmas cards and portraits SANS SD (mind you she's NEVER gotten pictures of SD taken)...I've ALWAYS sent personalized cards to my family...even before I got married...Usually it'd be of some funny picture of my dog, but always customized and handmade...

I sent DH's family a card ONCE, ONLY because DH wanted to...I was fully prepared to head to walmart and grab a random box of x-mas cards for them, but he wanted to send the custom ones I made with the birth picture of DS and us...It was like a birth announcement...MIL was pissed off because SD wasn't in the picture...That was the last time I sent any of them a Christmas card...

But I still just get family pictures with DH, DS and myself...I'm the ONLY person that uses them...I make scrapbooks, calendars, etc., and send them to my side of the family as gifts...so I never understood what the big deal was when nobody on DH's side of the family EVER does anything...EVER...