Does the divorce ageement say he has to pay for half of activities? My DH's agreement doesn't mention it so if she put SS in something we wouldn't pay we would expect her to out of the child support. Now if we put him in something we would pay and not ask her for half. If it doesn't say it in the agreement I wouldn't pay for it. Now if you and your DH want to put her in something then ya you should pay but if she is making these choices then she can pay. Don't give her any money but what you have to according to the divorce decree or custody arrangement.

Our co never specified. My dh has had custody in the past and bm has it now. Neither has ever asked the other for money for extracurriculars-we put ss in quite a few during the years he lived here and all we ever asked was that he be allowed to attend most of them. She puts him in baseball every year and band. I dont even know what her costs are for these but she pays for them herself (of course she receives cs).

I dont think any one parent should make unilateral decisions about extracurriculars. I would indeed check your court order-if it does not specify. I would tell her no next time she asks unless it is something you really think she should do

Just say no....dear god. You are giving her all the power here. If he says no, what is she going to do take it back to court for a few hundred bucks. I don't think so. The lawyers cost more than that....Tell him to grow a pair and tell the woman no.

No judge will tell him to keep paying for a kid's activities when he has no say in what they are doing. You need to start documenting everything. Keep emails of everything. That has saved us with the lawyers. The horrible thing is you will spend more on the lawyers than what the activities would cost.

When the letter from the lawyer comes send it to yours and let the lawyers duke it out...That is what we do.

Just stop all communicating with her outside of email. You need it for the documentation. He needs to spell out the reasons why he won't pay in the email. Do not be accusatory just factual. That really works...

I agree with jsmom here stop talking to her about this. Also does the Co say that they both have to agree about these activities? If it does then she HAS to call and they both have to agree it is ok to put her in that activity BEFORE she is signed up. I would also get that changed to where he only has to pay under certain conditions such as if the child has certain grades and only so many a year. If it only reads that they split all activities that is CRAZY! You HAVE to limit it or the kid will go crazy b/c wants more money. I bet she is signing her up for them and getting the money from your dh and then tells sd that she can quit to keep the money why else would she not finish all the ones she is in??? It just sounds like a lot for a child to handle and school.

My dd was in cheer for many years and *I* paid for it all myself. It is very expensive however she was only allowed to be in 1 activity and she choose cheer! That is the difference that sd has no limits and she doesn't think about which one she REALLY wants to be in. Plus it sounds like she is in too many things to really be a kid and she is spread way to thin which is why she doesn't finish any of them.