Evidently, my brother married a GU.
long story short, my brother married a girl, joined the army, and they had a kid. no, 6 months after the baby has been born, she tells him she's leaving she's done she's no longer doing this and she left with the kid.
When she left, she took their child with her. she has emptied his bank account so he has no money (it was all of his money, as she doesnt work). she's telling him that he can't come see the child because he hasn't paid the bills. Everything from their cars, to their houses (she rented one with his ss #), to the credit cards, are all in his name.
what recourse does he have at this point? Because he's military, he's technically not even a resident of NY where he is currently stationed. Can he filed there? If he does can he requested a child be brought back? I've given him all the advice I have read on here about filing immediately and having the work handled quickly to have his paternal right. He doesn't know what to do and is completely heartbroken. I'm heartbroken for him.
I have told him to contact a
I have told him to contact a lawyer--even if it's by email today! He has rights as a father, even if his relationship with the wife is no more. She took the child with her--claiming that she would be coming back, but less than a week later, she is telling him there's no way in hell she's coming back--this is after she cleared his bank account and savings account. For the record, he did not cheat on her (it's questionable the other way), and he doesn't really understand what is happening now.
I told him to shut off her phone; he says it will cost over $300 to do it. I told him there are cheaper options. The CC can't be used--it's maxed out already. He's going to try to do the landlord contact on Monday. He's contemplating moving back on base, which means no housing allowance--which is what she is counting on.
Tell him to call and report
Tell him to call and report everything stolen. They may not cancel the phone contract, but they'll suspend the use.
Same with the credit cards; even if it's maxed out you don't want her trying to get an increased limit or anything. Better safe than sorry.
The housing allowance will still be counted as income whether he lives on base or not. We have the same situation with our BM. She's military and up until this summer, she lived on base. We still counted every penny of the BAH in the child support calculation.
Have him speak to his
Have him speak to his leadership. The military has support systems for this type of thing. My BIL had a GF when he was in the US Army who cleaned out his accounts while he was on an international relief deployment. His unit leadership in the US got wind of it and the commander went to his bank and had the GF removed from the account and her cards disabled. BIL did not get any of his money back but she was not able to take any more of his money either.
The GF was 19 with 3 kids by 3 different soldiers. Fortunately BIL was smart enough not to get her pregnant or he would have been saddled with her for his entire life in some way.
With your SIL, your brother needs to try to get as much of the debt put specifically on her as he can. If she took out a lease and credit cards in his name without his consent he should put her ass in prison. That would get his kid out of the clutches of the extortionist BM.
I've told him to do this as
I've told him to do this as well. TBH, he is really not thinking clearly. I warned him that something like this could happen--but he trusted her.
I have told him that he needs to go after getting their child moved back into state, first. Then go after the other things.
If a car is in his name, but she left with it, is that ok? Can he go and claim the car back? Or would he be stealing it from her?
BM did that to DH not once,
BM did that to DH not once, but twice. There's not much he can do about the money in the accounts because they were/are married. The military doesn't get involved when is the soldier getting ripped off, but let him not support his (estranged) spouse? He could get in serious trouble with his command.
I also don't know that he wants to deal with NY State. They tend to bend the men over on CS, which goes to the age of 21. Unfortunately, he doesn't have much choice, and it'd be better for him to have home jurisdiction.
Tell him, GET A LAWYER!!! JAG won't touch this because it's a civil matter.
I'd also tell him to ask his platoon sergeant and 1SG for advice - I'll bet there's at least a half dozen (older) men in his unit who have been there, done that.