Everybody's pregnant but me

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My DH had 4 children when we met and I had a DD already. A total of 5 kids at any given time is the best birth control on the planet, in my honest opinion. A few times since we've been married (4--4 1/2 years now) I've experienced becoming "baby sick". I WANT another child, but it would be silly. We have enough problems between the children that we already have...discussions constantly about who's getting picked on, who's getting special treatment, we'll YOUR children can do this and mine can't, blah blah blah

My DH has a vasectomy and has had one for about 8 years now, so it's chances of successful reversal are getting slimmer & slimmer. Problem is, is that our friends are now experiencing having children with their new wives. My sister & sister-in-law have recently had babies. It kind of makes me feel bad. I would love to know what it feels like to have a child with someone I love unconditionally, to have the ultimate expression of our love be a child. I wonder what that would feel like--having DH/BF in the room and sharing that moment with him when the child is born. I didn't have that with my DD7...the 'sperm donor' was not in the picture and hasn't been since. DH wasn't there for the birth of all of his children, and the ones that he was there for, he got freaked out and ran away from the hospital cuz he was so young and scared.

I dunno...just venting some silly dreams of a perfect life that doesn't exist I suppose. Another child would just add to our problems, not fix them. In 8 years, we will be able to travel around the world/country free as birds cuz our children will be grown, while our friends will just be getting the hang of parenthood.

Thats not a very smart

Thats not a very smart decision of him. He didnt think about maybe one day meeting the love of his life and creating family but let BM get to him. In my case, BM also tried to trap DH with a kid so he can marry her but he dumped her crazy butt, didn't get snipped but didn't date for a very long time because he was just afraid of women trying to trick him. Now that he had found me, we both agreed on having kids and I am thankful to him that he was willing to wait to find the right one and not let an ex ruin the plan for his future family. We have a 10 month old and now Im pregnant again plus and the fact that we have SD7 doesnt bother us. She helps a lot too. Make babies and don't think too much about the silly reasons not to. One day itll be all worth it

Awww...I know how you feel.

Awww...I know how you feel. It does sting. HAve you thought about Adoption? Don't listen to those who don't understand. When you have children you cannot even begin to understnad what it feels like to not have a child and take care of ungrateful step children and a husband that thinks you should get over it. I'm so sorry. Hang in there. You're still a mom just in the non-traditional way.

Well its hard to be a step

Well its hard to be a step parent. Very difficult especially when you have no children of your own. And although you love them very much you still have a different role and a different bond. Its different to feel a baby move inside of you and birth them, or to just raise them form birth. When you come and they are 7 or 8 and already have habits it so hard....and I know I often feel left out. Don't be so hard on yourself. Take that time and cry it out sometimes, and look into other alternatives if you want a baby of your own. You are still a mommy...and you are still important and loved.

I understand exactly what the

I understand exactly what the OP is going through. My bf is not snipped though. He was also tricked-it's likely the SD is not his even....and he was 19 when they got married. She is now a lesbian and likely was back then also...doomed for failure from the start.

I have two bios of my own as well. Between his SD who is very problematic, his BM who is crazy, and my bios and all us combined it's stressful. We know adding another kid would be crazy and could cause further jealousy issues w/his D.

Not to mention starting all over again for 18 years when I'm almost 37 is not my idea of fun. I'm older then him so I have some health concerns about pregnancy/lacking energy when younger for a newborn/physical limitations, etc. So practical wise and logic, no reason to have another one. Pretty soon we will be able to have our lives to ourselves, travel, enjoy it and the stress, responsibility of parenting will be there but not to the extent it is now I imagine.
BUT..we both sometimes wonder out loud how it would be nice to do it the RIGHT WAY-with a loving partner, supportive and having an intact family for a new child..>BOTH wanting the best and bonding. BUT I've heard it creates more problems sometimes w/the other previous children.

A lot of my friends/family are having kids now also-where I had mine younger...so I understand the baby fever, and it makes me sad also. All I can do is suggest you go babysit, and play w/those babies to help the baby itch It's bittersweet to get to that point in life where it sounds good but you know it's not the right thing...you're giving up on a basic animal instinct and as we age our mind/body KNOWS it's our last chance..to reproduce. Especially in the context of a loving relationship. It's absolutely normal to feel this way.

OMG! BM here is a lesbian

OMG! BM here is a lesbian too! And she told SD she knew she was when she was a teenager. She's older than DH, and we all felt she just used him; he was 19 when they met.

DH is 15 years older than me, SD just turned 20, and we just had our first baby together. DH didn't have a vasectomy, but his sperm count is so low he might as well have had one. We were told we would have less than a 3% chance of ever having a child.

HOWEVER, simply having DH in the delivery room was not a dream come true. I thought it would be like OP states, but...picture this: I'm pushing and just about to give birth to BS. DH never wanted to be in the delivery room, but I didn't have anyone else to be with me. My mother passed away and I don't have any sisters. I was under the impression he wasn't in the room with BM when SD was born. I found out as I'm trying to push my baby out that he was in the room when SD was born, and he almost belted the Dr cuz he grabbed her by the head trying to pull her out. I didn't want to hear A SINGLE WORD about SD or BM while I was going through my own magical moment. GRRRR...

DH is also not thrilled with having a young child now that he's older, but tough crap. That's what he gets for marrying a younger woman, telling this woman from the beginning he wants more children, so deal with it. We didn't just meet yesterday, so this was by no means an accident!

BTW, I hope we have another one; my little boy is a complete angel like another commented her daughter to be like!

Wow i'm so happy there are

Wow i'm so happy there are others out there. I have 3 boys and my DH 1. I want a child of our own so badly somedays it makes me sad. My previous experiences have been horrible and his as well. The thought of having a child with a man I love so much is so overwhelming. He however hasn't had the snip but had a crazy ex that tramatized him to having more kids. Some mornings I wake up and can almost believe we have a little baby and we're all snuggling together to wake up. I know it's crazy and we have 4 between us,but it hurts so bad when people say "are you crazy don't you have enough?" or "why would you want to start over again just enjoy you life?"

Wow i'm so happy there are

Well let me tell you, I know

Well let me tell you, I know exactly what you are feeling. I married my husband and he has two children. When we married he had his vasectomy for 9 years already. I was so sad becasue I love him so very much but I had NO children of my own, and was constantly made to feel bad by his children and their mother and even my mother in-law at times...the " you don't know , since you don't have any children." Its stinks! Well now I have a new born baby. We got pregnant after trying for over a year. He had a reversal and 11 yeasr after his vasectomy I becasme pregnant. And although I love my baby boy...My husband is very different with me and the baby than he is with his precious little divorced children that he feels so sorry for. I would say if you want a baby go for it...get it reversed and try if you can afford it. Otherwise you will alwyas wonder what if...but it will also be difficut and not perfect wither. SO good Luck.

I want one too. I'm 34. It

I want one too. I'm 34. It would be my first and only bio (just one is good for me). Lost a pregnancy about 6 weeks ago. I really want to start trying again.

All my friends are trying to

All my friends are trying to get pregnant as we speak and I mean ALL of them so I know how you all feel. I have no bio kids and my BF is 16 years older than me and had a vasectomy 14 years ago at the age of 27! But he is having his reversal next month in a couple weeks actually so I would say don't give up if you really want one. Hope my BFs surgery is a success for us both!

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Everybody's pregnant but me