You are here

Do any of you have a third party for pick up and drop offs or meet at a police station?

abugandabean's picture

BM is very very high conflict and DH and BM cannot have a normal coparenting relationship. They do custody together outside of the court but he is in the process of changing that.

He is interested in figuring out a way that he doesn't have to actually meet her because every time they are around each other they end up screaming at each other and it is never productive and it's also not good for SD to witness.

I've heard stories about people meeting inside police stations or something of that nature to decrease interaction and wanted to know experiences and if that works for you or if you do something else.

This cannot keep happening. Every time he meets her he's pissed off, then that spills over into everything else so for SD, my kids, him, and myself and even BM we all need a little more peace.

abugandabean's picture

SD is two. BM cannot come to my home I had to get a no contact order against her and i should have pushed for a restraining order. She sent me over 2000 text messages. Called me over 400 times (all in a year), sent me threatening letters, and threatened me physically on numerous occasions. She also stalked me. She's not welcome anywhere near me. Lol.

He sometimes picks her up from her daycare and that is what we are going to push for.

Glassslipper's picture

I had to do this twice with EXH, after the fear in the kids eyes and the discomfort he had with the police at his house to assist with child exchange, He stopped his high conflict ways REALLY quick.
In my ares you can call the police department and ask for a "keep the peace child exchange" and they will be there 10 minutes prior and assist with collecting the children and exchanging them. Also recommended in my area for this situation is a notebook the kids carry back and forth where both parents can write communications so that they do not have to talk.
I had only one week (pick up and drop off) that required this and then EXH was VERY cooperative as he did not want the police in his driveway twice a week.

^^^As stated above, we do exchanges though the school, they leave EXH house to go to school, then return to my home after school, but our first X-mas break didn't go well, and I needed the police to help with the exchange...

Teas83's picture

My husband and BM now meet in a Tim Hortons parking lot in a town halfway between where they each live. I hope that all my husband does is take SD out of his truck and watches her walk to BM's vehicle. (Although as I'm typing this I'm thinking that he probably carries her and gives her to BM). I'll have to ask him about this.

GBM used to do the exchanges for BM because apparently she was "neutral" (this woman is SO not neutral).

Evil stepmonster's picture

DH meets Inbred at a Police station, parks extremely far away from her car and the kids walk over to him. It helps, and she decides to go off, police are already there. Smile

Calypso1977's picture

Our p/u and d/o is at the police station. this was done because BM would not force SD to go on visits and we had a 2-3 month period where my fiance would go to the house for pick up, she'd refuse, and the cops would be called to document BM's refusal to produce SD. she still refused for awhile even with the p/u and d/o at the police station, but it was easier to walk inside and file the report at the window rather than having a cruiser dispatched.

we like it. fiance works very close to the police station so its convenient for him on the week days and a huge inconvenience for BM all of the days.

he has gone to the hosue a few times when BM has had a random shift of work but the trade off is always that she has to come get SD at our place. less driving all around.