DH's friends BM/AND DH's ex's ex best friend wants to hang out! (If that's not confusing)
I'm in a little bit of a weird position. On Saturday DH, me and the kids went to a winery and ran into BM's ex best friend. Who also happens to be Kevin's high school closest friend, who we still hang out with, BM. Who he (DH's friend) does not like.
Basically, DH and his friend introduced the two girls and they became besties when they were 16 and were close for years, even after they left their husbands. Let's call the girl Rachel, she got pissed at our BM for dropping off my SD's with her to go out with men and told BM how she felt about it and some of her other behaviors regarding the kids and BM hasn't spoken to her in 4 years. That pissed her off! They aren't friends anymore.
So Rachel also being my DH's friends ex, it's difficult there because I'm trying to build a relationship with his wife, but the thing is they are/she is always busy and while we are friends, we don't hang out regularly because of the needs of the Kids, she has a long commute, etc.
DH's friend has always categorized Rachel in the same area as our BM. Afterall, they were friends. However, when I met her, her husband, and her 7 year old son at the winery,I didn't think that at all. I saw a nice and attentive mother and she seemed really down to earth and less into herself.
Sure, she has fake tits too, but you can tell she eats at least.
We had a good time, our boys liked each other so much and i talked about her daughter a lot (15 years old, great kid) and I feel a little bit guilty about it because of our friendship with DH's high school friend! He's pretty much like family.
She friended me on Facebook and liked a bunch of my recent pictures and wedding pictures from last year lol, and she wants to get our boys together. I don't really feel bad about accepting her friend request because my BM is on their Facebook, so they can't judge lmao.
However I can make a decision to hang out or not hang out. I feel like I'm dying for some girl time, I keep trying to get Lisa (name changed) to hang out, but Rachel is the one that is willing and is probably actually more my kind of girl.
Am I being naive? Could this be a BM trick to stir up drama on purpose?
If like to know if anyone else has been in a similar situation 
You are correct!!
You are correct!!
*lol* Yeah, it's all a bit
What does your DH say? If he's cool with you being friends with Rachel, then I'd say go for it. (You will NOT have a real friendship with Lisa in this case though.) If your DH asks you not to though, I'd consider finding a friend that DH's BFF has never slept with.
My DH says go for it! I just
My DH says go for it! I just worry, what if she and our BM decide to make up and become friends again. I should make sure I don't say anything about her I guess lol. Which would be hard when you get close to a friend.
I guess DH's wife and I wouldn't be able to get close, it's sad cuz I really liked her too, but I'm so sick of reaching out to girls to hang out just to get turned down. A girl day here and there sounds nice!
The whole thing sounds
The whole thing sounds radioactive. Go on meetup and get some new girlfriends that way or something along those lines.
She may be a wonderful person, but it will be very, very hard not step on land mines and quicksand. I would be cordial and nothing more. If I had to I might spell it out, "love to know you better, but best for everyone if we allow some space instead."
Makes sense. It's all a bit
Makes sense. It's all a bit uncomfortable.
In fact, she's liking everything I'm posting on Facebook and commenting on some. Our friend has to be seeing this stuff. Ironically, he asked DH and I to go out to dinner with he and Lisa this Saturday. I'm sure the push to get together is because he wants the details on how we know each other and he will talk a bunch of shit maybe.
I'm just going to say that we ran into her at the winery and talked for a little while and then she ended up friending us on Facebook. I guess I won't lead on either way if we will get together or not, because I can't make any promises.
If our friends are just hanging out for this purpose, and not to actually build our friendship and start hanging out, I don't want to rule it out 100%. I "think"
I've been in this town for 8 years and I've built no real friendships. I always put in all the effort and I just get blown off most of the time. I won't beg to hang out anymore. Finally a girl is seeking me out so it's just nice to meet a girl that's on the same page, looking for genuine friendships with similar interests and not ones that aren't going to just blow them off.
I understand work and family, but there's always a possibility to leave the kids with the hubby for at least an hour to hang out. Especially Lisa, she lives 3 miles away.
It CAN be very tough in a
It CAN be very tough in a standoffish town or at a time of life when everyone's life is already full, I hear ya. But I still think this one is glowing green like something stuck on Homer Simpson's helmet. Joining up, volunteering, taking classes - may have to make a second job of it till you find someone who really clicks. But once you do find a girlfriend or two, you will be safe from excess step-drama or quantum entanglements you can not contain!
You're right. I went on a 2nd
You're right. I went on a 2nd interview today and I'm pretty sure I got the job, plus I'm taking a math class so I'll just focus on that.
Thank you!