So Rumplestiltskin (aka drunk DH) woke up for about 20 minutes this morning since last Tuesday. I guess he has been walking to the liquour store every night and I didn't hear the downstairs back door opening. I figured it out when I realized the house was freezing and the thermostat was at 72. Since he doesn't pay any bills around here - just hands me a hundred or two once in while after his personal bills are paid (because that's real life, right?), he doesn't care if he lets all the heat out when its below freezing outside.

So anyways, he is playing the victim. I let him know that the final judgement is filed now, the judge will sign it in a couple days and he (again) needs to be out by March 1 or I pull a restraining order. He still isn't getting it, lol.

I think of myself as pretty, long hair, big boobs and am in decent shape. I have a good job, educated, really independant, my own 2400 square foot house, travel, close family, alot of great girlfriends all the way back to junior high school that I am close to. Why on earth have I allowed myself to get to this place. DH is good looking and kind and helpful when he isn't completely hammered, artistic, but has no busines sense whatsoever, and to go along with that:

1. He doesn't have a drivers license because he has two DUIs. So I have to drive him EVERYWHERE. Luckily I have a very flexible job or I wouldn't have time to be DH's taxi cab. Court appearances (for BM and DUIs), skid pick up and travel to deal with their drama, work (I finally made him pay a driver), and other errands. He just blamed me last night for missing one of his DUI appointments because I told him I would not drive him as long as he was drunk and calling me names. So its my fault that he missed it, not his.

2. He doesn't have any money, no credit, and gave literally everything to BM, while taking on all the debt. The only way that he will ever get out of debt is a bankruptcy, but that won't help with the $50,000 in back child/spousal support that he has because he agreed to $2500 a month in support on a $4000 income (before taxes).

3. I pay for everything and I was telling myself that I'd be paying it anyways because even if he leaves, I am staying in my house. But really, I realize that isn't true. With just me and DD4 - my food bill will probably be around $350 a month. His SS13 can eat his way through that much in food in just the two weekends a month he is here. And both DH and SS13 leave all the lights on constantly, leave doors open with the heat on, etc. DH finished building some furniture in the garage and used an electric heater the whole time. After the utility bill I got, I bet he didn't even break even on that work. Neither of them care that we get $400 a month electric and gas bills because I pay them.

4. He thinks of BM's horrible 15 year old nephew as more his son that his stepdaughter. This kid is a mess and when I finally told DH that I will not allow him in my home anymore because he is NOT DH's son and I do not trust him around DD4, DH called me a "compusive liar" and said that I just don't want the kid around because he smells bad and is annoying. Ummm....yeah, those are great reasons too, but I absolutely won't have messed up teen going through puberty spending time where he could be alone with her. Period.

5. BM is ALWAYS in our life. Always. And when I demand that DH get her out of our lives, not talk to her (aka fight) on the phone around me, not talk to her in MY driveway where the neighbors can her her bellowing, I am being controlling.

6. No matter what I do for the skids, he says absolutely nothing to them about the way they treat me. It just gets swept under the rug and then I am expected to roll out the red carpet whenever they grace us with their presence. If I stick up for myself and say they aren't allowed here until I receive an apology - its MY fault that DH hasn't seen them for 4 months. Because he has no license to see them in their town, but he doesn't admit to that.

Really, there are almost no redeeming qualities about him or reasons for me to stay with him. I don't know what planet this guy lives on, but he thinks he can call me names, not back me on anything, let his kids walk on me and I'll just continue to support him and pick up the pieces for him - because I KEPT DOING IT. Never again. I have learned a major lesson and I will never allow another person in my life that is this manipulative, selfish, and if I even get a hint of addiction issues, I will run like hell.