dealing with college stepkids - advice needed
Forums:
don't have kids my own...so would appreciate any feedback regarding college-age stpekids.
1) how do you make sure that the college money is used correctly? My partner and I are thinking about writing up a contract with SS --- grades need to be > = B otherwise NO money for support.
2) how to push stepkids into getting a job? is it too much to expect a college kid to work during semester? what pressure instruments if the kid is reluctant and show no initiative to look for a job?
3) easier said than done --- what if kid drops out and can hold no job? anyone really said to kid: go and live under the bridge?
my partner and I are planning to move far far away from stepkids, maybe another country, as soon as CS is over.
THX!
You can learn by my DH's
You can learn by my DH's mistakes. SD is 27, started college at 18, and is still going!! DH didn't require that she provide grades etc. He does now.
Based on our experience - I would suggest paying for 1 semester and that in order to continue classes they must submit their grades to you, you approve and advance them money for the next semester. I think that you can access most transcripts and grades on line now. I would require the password.
For spending money - maybe you set a budget for food and gas - any extras they pay for and if they run out - their problem.
Good luck!!
Glynne
my mom had a contract with
my mom had a contract with my brother. and he was her bio! if his grades fell belo a certain point...he paid tuition.
sure enough, his grades dropped. she told him not to come home for the summer and get a job. big grow up point for him..but he got a job, apartment and paid his tuition for a semester and got his grades up...back on contract.:)
oh and neither of us got spending money. we got jobs:) my mother laughed at me when i asked. she said "I am paying 8k a year for you to go to school and you have the audacity to ask for money. get off your ass and work." and i did. lol.
so no need to feel guilty of
so no need to feel guilty of sending off to college without a car
?
one is off to college already---me personally I think even paying for books and supplies is a bit overboard---anyway
no spending money I totally agree!
what is if despite college degree limited job options which is pretty common today as college became inflationary ?
For us we are court ordered
For us we are court ordered to pay for college expenses for our SS which I love to pieces... But he is also to apply for scholarships, and take out the government Stafford loan each year.. We can't afford 30,000.00 per year for him to attend college.. So he does have to work in the summer if he doesn't help with the cost then he would be attending a community college instead of where he is now. My SD lives with her mother and receives grants, and next semester when she goes to a 4 year college she also will have to work and take out the Stafford student loan.. I don't think that kids appreciate things as much if they are just handed a blank check. If they have to help I think that they will work harder, and appreciate it more..
JMO
what if BioMom refuses to
what if BioMom refuses to have biokid! live with them after HS in order to attend community college?
Eviltrophywife.. Is you DH
Eviltrophywife.. Is you DH court ordered to pay for college?? If not he would be attending Community college if he wanted to go and didn't want to help with the cost.. There is really nothing that you can do if BM does not want the kids to live with her...I don't have an answer for that one...
Although most colleges won't
Although most colleges won't readily tell you, and most students and parents are unaware of this, the FERPA rules indicate that if you claim a student on your tax return as a dependent that the school MUST provide you with the transcripts of that student and access to their grades and other information. All you have to do is prove it by bringing your tax return with you.
Look up FERPA, take your tax return and go make sure the money is being spent wisely.
almostover....FERPA
almostover....FERPA rules---very useful! THX!