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Court is tomorrow and now they want to hear from me?!

The Triangle's picture

Tomorrow is (supposed) to be our court date for full custody of my SS. Our original date was in November of 2010 and was then continued. Our lawyer called and said that the guardian ad lidem (sp) suggest we continue. She believes that SS will have a hard time adjusting to the separation from BM. She also states that she feels as though we are the better fit. CONFUSED. We are the better fit for his interest but I am going to continue any final decision as of right now.
This has been a constant uphill battle for my hub and I. The BM does not like the fact that we are married, or that my SS likes me, or that I am kind to both her and him, and trust and believe she makes it apparent. She fights my hub tooth and nail about anything that could or should involve me. My hub has put his foot down and tomorrow our lawyer will be asking for a court order stating that BM is responsible for 50% as well. 50% of driving, co pay (my SS is now in counseling to help aid in the transition, and just overall well being of my SS.
The short of it (as I could go into a list of reasons why things are as they are) is that after speaking to our lawyer about issues at hand against us we are fighting the continuance. In the beginning of our convo she stated she was on the fence about this being good or bad. By the end of our convo she stated that she was going to not only fight the continuance but she wanted to actually use me on the stand. This was never brought up before. I am taking it as a blessing in disguise because I am more articulate than my hub.
BUT, being as how BM trash talks me to my SS about how I am trying to be his mother and how I do his dad's job etc. do you think this a bad thing? I would never want him to think that I am the reason. And BM will make it just as that if I speak in court.

Stick to my guns and be a means to an end?
(Pray like hell SS doesn't resent me even more)

giveitago's picture

Our custody was a no contest, BM abandoned the kids. I really do believe that you are quite capable of taking the stand. The only thing I would urge you NOT do do is speak disrespectfully of BM in the court room, it's all on record, on paper, anyhow so there's no need to reiterate other than what is broadly known by those present in the courtroom, or things that you have not already said to BM. That's the only thing I reiterate with SKids here is that I respect that she is their mother and I do listen to what they say of her with respect too. I cannot even imagine how SKids feel, desiring to live with us and then being abandoned by their mother to us.
I think a proper transition might have benefitted them, with hindsight, however, we have them and all the issues that come with that. Our girl is in the juvenile system now, partly because of the issues surrounding her mother. It's really hard to deal with but we love our girl and I have faith that she will turn out good, once she reconciles her mind with the facts.

The Triangle's picture

Thank you for your kind words. I come from a split home and could have benefitted from a counseling session or 5. I would never nor have I ever spoke out of turn when it comes to BM. This is a bridge that will be here for at-least until he is 18 and at functions after that.

I feel no need to roar, for I hold the power of the whisper.