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Child Support

buterfly_2011's picture

Submitted by buterfly_2011 on Mon, 03/19/2012 - 4:21pm

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General Discussion

I need some input here from some other SM's.... because I'm about to go postal when I get home tonight. Here is the low down
For the better of our lives and his chidlren's lives my SO has decided to step down from a job that pays close to $20hr. He is taking a paycut that puts him at $15hr. BUT we have mutually decided that the job he is doing now is putting us in the hole. Expenses for his car, new tires every 6mnths, new windshields, new brakes, oil changes and the cost of the fuel it's taking for him to keep this job is putting us in the negative. The company he works for pays him back part of the gas money but he usually has to put out between 200-400 of his own $ every month. We decided that taking that pay cut pretty much will even out with all the costs we are enduring just to keep our car on the road for this current job.
Well..... if he takes this new job his CS will go down. Right now he is putting out almost 1500 a month. With this new job he will be putting out around 1000 a month. Ok so too my point..........
He is afraid to take this new job BECAUSE he is freaken afraid of making his EX MAD! ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW? She doesn't work. She goes to school. So she has stated she just can't work. She lives with a man who is also providing for her. Im not saying my SO should NOT take care of his kids. BUT for him to NOT take a job because he has fear of making the ex mad? His children are 11, 14 and 17. Those kids are old enough to see that their dad loves them and provides for them, hell they know he does she makes them call him to make sure the CS is put in the bank every other friday!
I guess my rant is if he turns down a job because he is afraid to make her mad over a few hundred dollars where does that put us for OUR future? He works for a company who works him up to 80hrs a week. Runs him all week and well into the weekend and he is getting emails sometimes at midnight. I am flabergasted that he is considering her feelings for something that is OUR future. His daughter is 17. She can get a summer job to pay for her rock revivals and her miss me jeans that she will ONLY wear. OMGOSH if I get started on that I will never stop.
What are all your thoughts on this? I am an ex wife and I have never asked for anything from my ex NOR do I or would I ever depend on him to get me through school AFTER we had been divorced for 5 years. SERIOUSLY?!

DeeDeeTX's picture

Submitted by DeeDeeTX on Mon, 03/19/2012 - 4:45pm

How does he even know his support will go down? From what I've heard, if you voluntarily leave a job to go to a lower paying job, they will still assess the child support at the higher rate.

3littlemonkeys's picture

Submitted by 3littlemonkeys on Mon, 03/19/2012 - 4:55pm

I don't get why he'd be upset because BM is mad. His priorities are off!

However, it is unlikely that cs will go down. A voluntary downgrade in pay is usually not a valid reason to modify.

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Mon, 03/19/2012 - 4:58pm

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but odds are CS WON'T go down. Yep. That's right. Only intact couples are allowed to make such decisions and of course, the ex collecting CS lol

I know exactly how you feel. Right now my DH spends over 3 hours in TRAFFIC every day before/after work just to keep a job to make payments to the witch and his loser skid. It's not fair at ALL to our son, when he spends so little time with us every day. The fact is that in order for him to see his crappy daughter more years ago, when he had to work every darn weekend, I took on a bigger chunk of the bills so that he had more quality time with that loser...and no, it doesn't matter to the loser, the ex or the courts if he has any quality time with our son. They only care about THEIR money.

Good luck. It is truly pathetic. Sadly, your family will probably have to sacrifice for his ex and his kids. If I were you, I'd tell him to continue working as he is because at the end, you will resent that more of YOUR income will go to the ex. Spend the extra income instead on you and YOUR child.

hippiegirl's picture

Submitted by hippiegirl on Mon, 03/19/2012 - 5:19pm

$1500 a month? What does his ex feed those kids? GOLD???
I thought I had it bad when DH had to pay $900 a month. Geez!
I'm sorry you're having to deal with this mess. :O
Unfortunately, the second family gets the shit end of the financial stick, because of the first family....especially when BM thinks she's too good to go get a job like everyone else. It sucks, I know.
Hugs.

buterfly_2011's picture

Submitted by buterfly_2011 on Mon, 03/19/2012 - 5:36pm

he isn't taking a pay cut to cut down on CS. He is taking a paycut for a job that is home, not traveling 500 miles a day in his own car. That is why he is taking a pay cut

3littlemonkeys's picture

Submitted by 3littlemonkeys on Mon, 03/19/2012 - 5:39pm

I don't think he is taking a cut just to lower cs. I'm saying a voluntary cut likely won't result in a downward mof is cs.

buterfly_2011's picture

Submitted by buterfly_2011 on Mon, 03/19/2012 - 5:51pm

In our state this is what it says if you want to try to modify. These are the reasons they will accept modifications.

You can show proof there has been a substantial change of circumstances. This could mean a change in custody, the needs of the child(ren), or the number of children covered by the support order. It could also mean a significant change in a parent’s income, or a change in medical child support.

Thank you ALL for letting me know that. AS he was going to call his boss tonight and put in his two weeks. He only has till tomorrow morning to make the choice. So we are putting a call in to our attorney. I am so thankful for this sight. Since I don't collect CS from my wonderful amazing ex husband (im gagging right now) I have no idea how CS works. So thank you for the heads up.

buterfly_2011's picture

Submitted by buterfly_2011 on Mon, 03/19/2012 - 6:31pm

Called our attorney. If he left a job voluntarily and was unemployed because of it then No his CS would not change. But because he is voluntarily leaving for another position that has a substantial decrease it can be modified. Ultimately it is up to the state we live in but what he wants to do does fall into yes it can be modified.
I surely don't want people to get the wrong idea about his reasons. He pays faithfully every month and does extra's all through out the month for the kids. Even providing gas money to the ex so she can take them to sports events. He may be one of those guilty dads but he surely isn't one to skip out on taking care of his kids. He travels with his salesman job up to 500 or more miles a day. His current employer made promises they did not keep like a vehicle.... etc. Part of our reasons is because we are paying out more for him to work for them then they are paying him to work for them.
Supporting your kids is one thing. But to support a woman who refuses to work like the rest of us is another. I know many many women who are going to school, being a parent and working. So they may provide as well for the family THEY also had. I don't understand the you OWE me syndrome these ladies have.