BM filed for custody after not sending SD to school for an entire week
I posted a few times already about our latest custody issue so I won't go into a bunch of detail & repeat myself but basically DH and BM had 50/50 every other week, SD started Kindergarten & BM did not send SD to school on her week so DH filed for emergency custody.
He was denied. Apparently a child not being sent to school is not an emergency. Whatever. So yesterday we got papers in the mail that BM filed for custody!
How the hell does one have the balls to file for custody after not having sent your kid to school for an entire week straight? (yes, Kindergarten is required in our state). I thnk she's just trying to get CS because she has never shown any interest in having SD in the past.
So DH had to go into court today to file his "answer"- not sure if it's the same in every state but he had to "answer" to each one of BM's allegations- which were all nothing but BS.
BM said (in the court papers!) she's afraid of what SD might be seeing in our house!- what, people going to work? LOL God forbid she see that!
I'm just so irritated. It has been nothing but drama ever since SD started school 3 weeks ago (well, it was drama before that but not as severe). DH and I are trying to get pregnant and I feel like all this stress is going to have an effect on that.
Well, seeing people go to
Well, seeing people go to work everyday can be a traumatic experience. She might think she will have to do that someday.
Since BM is the one who moved after the school was decided upon, hopefully they will give your DH custody but it's hard telling. BM is probably worried about having to PAY child support.
Haha! Thanks for the laugh, I
Haha! Thanks for the laugh, I needed that!!
It could be she is worried she will be the one who has to pay.. She normally does not work.. In all the years I have been with DH (5), she has probably worked a total of 6 months. She got fired from her last job for having a mental breakdown (literally- she had to be driven to the nuthut by a coworker). She was unemployed for a while after that but she recently got a job working in fast food. So the amount of CS we would get from her would be slim to none- but yes I can see why she would worry.
Do you have BM agreeing to
Do you have BM agreeing to the school in writing? I ask, as even though we had it in the original CO, BM told us "I simply don't agree." If it's not in the CO, and there's nothing in writing, it may be more of an uphill battle.
If you can prove she's been disinterested or uninvolved in the day to day work, it helps. Although, if she hasn't been in school, it might be harder to prove. Also, the school will get involved after so many absences. You may want to contact her teacher and explain what's happening so that it doesn't negatively affect SD (yes, it's only kindergarten, but it does matter, if school is required.)
We don't have it in writing
We don't have it in writing per say- but BM did go to the school open house and fill out papers with DH. So her signature is on the school papers. Not sure if the courts would consider that to be agreement in writing or not?
Edited to add: DH has contacted the school to explain the custody situation and why SD has missed school on BM's days. The school just asked for him to bring in the court papers, which he is going to do once they get their hearing scheduled.
I was worried about him getting into trouble for truancy so I had him call and explain the situation.
If she filled out the papers,
If she filled out the papers, with her signature on them, it's going to be hard for her to say she didn't agree or know that's where she was going to be going to school. The fact that nothing was determined as far as the 50/50 before school starting does factor in, but I'd think the judge wouldn't want to move her after she's already been established. That said, of course, the judge won't always look at all the factors involved.
Right. Well hopefully they
Right. Well hopefully they get a court date soon to get all this bs settled. It's literally some new drama every single day. Now social services is involved. They went to DH's mom's house (no idea why they went there..) & then they called him and said they need to meet with him today because of some "allegations" that were made. I have no idea what BM is trying to cook up now. I am so sick of this nonstop drama.
Yes, what happened was BM
Yes, what happened was BM lived about 30 mins from us when her and DH agreed on SD's school. After they agreed on school (and before SD started school), BM moved almost 2 hours away!
Oh I am not offended. I've
Oh I am not offended. I've been telling DH for YEARS that the week on/week off arrangement would not work once SD went to school.
We do live in a "mother" state if you will, so I won't be surprised if she wins either. I am just trying to be supportive of DH until they have their day in court.
the role of mothers is put on
the role of mothers is put on a pedestal. i am sure most/many mothers do right by their children, but in many states they can do no wrong. for instance, there is a case of a BM who used child support money for breast implants. nothing was done by the courts. courts don't step in unless there is gross danger to the child.
this is the sad truth.
Right. I think people expect
Right. I think people expect that a mother should care for her children, and I can't say I disagree- the problem is, they don't always do what they should be doing for the child.
In our case, BM is a total piece of trash- drug addict, mental history, unemployed, uneducated, drifter (stays with whoever will let her & her kids stay with them), 3 kids by 3 different men & never married to any of them.. you get it.
DH is stable with a decent job, married with a house.. complete opposite of BM.
Yet I bet in court they side with BM just because she has a uterus smh
so true. in our case Bm was
so true. in our case Bm was given almost eighteen year of childsupport money. Dh asked ex to put a small bit of money in a trust for each of the skids. Bm did none of that so when skids graduated from high school, they had nothing to show for it. all the money went to second husband and their luxuries. eventually, Bm was cheated on by second husband the one she left Dh for. how is that for payback? she is now divorced and virtually homeless. Dh now fully supports all of the skids in college and they all have their hands out for money.
Just adding 2 cents in,(might
Just adding 2 cents in,(might be useful)
Our BM rolled over and stopped fighting (during the divorce when my boyfriend said he wanted to kids to live with him) He told BM she would never have to pay him CS so long as she allowed the kids to stay with him. She stopped fighting and let the kids live with him. It was that easy. As long as she didn't have to pay CS, she didn't care where the kids were.