Becoming a Disciplinary
Currently I am not a disciplinary towards the skids. And it's getting to the point where I am sick of it. When we first met I was childless, I moved into "their" house, and I was just uncomfortable with the whole situation. So it was always "ask your dad" or I would mention things to him privately afterwards. But now things are different. I feel like the woman of the house, I have a child to protect and raise, and I'm much more comfortable now. There has only been a handful of times I have spoken up to them. (By them I mean SD, SS does whatever I ask) but I am still nowhere near comfortable to send them to their room or take away their phone or do "real punishment".
Is it too late?
And if not, how can I establish myself as a disciplinary without just looking like a suddenly became a bitch? And how do you combat the "well you're not my mom"? I'm 95% sure DH will back me up, I don't think that will be an issue. If he doesn't it will certainly be an issue with me!
I would sit down with the
I would sit down with the whole family and make a general announcement that for the betterment of the family and household. That y'all were going to have a change in rules. Both you and DH will be enforcing that they clean their room (or whatever it is) or they will have consequences. I would go as far as making set consequences that you are able to enforce such as: no clean room, no tv time until you do; didn't do your hw, no playing outside/w friends until you do. If kids can visually see and understand that every action or lack thereof has a consequence in a plain chart then there shouldn't be a problem...as long as it all across the board and equal and both you and DH are both participating in the disciplining. There are many ways to discipline a skid without having to cross personal boundaries. Sending kids to their room isn't harming them,taking away their games/computer isn't going to leave marks, making them do the dishes isn't going to kill them either. This is teaching them how to be self sufficient humans in our reward based society. You'll do great--with the backing of DH
I have only sent them to
I have only sent them to their rooms if they are physically hurting each other. And they all go. Usually all of them are involved in some way.
Other times, I threaten to call their father or tell him when he gets home. That usually works to keep them in line.
Once, last year, after a particularly hot family vacation on the day we got home. The two younger kids, girls, started fighting over who was going to play on the blow up loveseat. They were pushing each other. I told them both to get off it. They refused and kept arguing. This all happening in our bedroom and I just wanted to be alone. After a few more minutes, I let the air out of the thing, lol. I had to laugh because both girls refused to get off it even though it was deflating, both defiantly had their arms crossed while sinking to the ground.
I have to say, I am pretty lucky. They are really good kids. They sibling fighting has become less and less.