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Anyone have any advice for handling 2 BM's

mashpeebonusmom's picture

Submitted by mashpeebonusmom on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 1:14pm

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Quick background...Dating a man with 2 children one is a tween and the other is an infant with 2 different BM's. I have no problem with BM1, we talk on the phone once a week, he has 50/50 with the oldest. Problem is with BM2. There is really no good time to tell your ex best friend that you currently with her child's father. Just to make things clear. I never had feelings for him while she and I were friends. She and I stopped being friends because I was ready to grow up and she wasnt. But the reality is i like him now and she is going to have to find out. When is a good time frame to let things develop before telling her? Do we wait til she moves on? Do we give it 3 months, 6 months, a year? Do we just bite the bullet and tell her and expect the worst?

LizzieA's picture

Submitted by LizzieA on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 1:24pm

I'd wait until you are solid, unless she is going to find out "on the street." Then I'd tell her now.

mashpeebonusmom's picture

Submitted by mashpeebonusmom on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 1:31pm

We have been pretty careful about her not finding out 'on the streets' She and I dont run in the same circle anymore but his friends gf's still do. I told him its up to him and whenever he wants to tell her I'm ready. I feel like it needs to come from him. I feel like I have no loyality to her in regards of friendship respect. I do respect her as the BM tho

starfish's picture

Submitted by starfish on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 1:39pm

hmm.... i agree with waiting until you know how solid it's gonna be... if she finds out "on the street", just tell her it's nothing serious (yet) and you didn't want to cause an unwarranted feud between her and bd/you