1 more thing, shouldn't SS8 be able to bathe himself and tell time?
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I know all kids are different BUT I do worry about SS8. He can't even take his own bath yet, much less a shower. He still expects either his mom :O or dad :? to come in, and bathe him off....
Also, he does not want to learn in school. He can't read yet, tell you what day of the week it is, his phone number, tell time, or brush his teeth. I don't really think this is normal. I KNOW though, not my kid... still? Anyone else and what did you do?
Wow, NOT normal at all. Has
Wow, NOT normal at all. Has he been tested for low IQ or learning disabilities? He seems WAY behind. My daughter could easily do all of this by age 6, not 8.
I know, right? I am in NO WAY
I know, right? I am in NO WAY poking fun at the disabled here BUT I have an older son (22) and at that age, he was reading for 4 YEARS already, walking home, etc. I KNOW this is not right. I've tried to say something to DH BUT he looks embarrassed almost. I'm not BM picking here but, she is one, dumb lady. For real. Super low IQ. DH had to teach her how to drive, at 30 YEARS OLD. Don't get me going there. She is smart though at using people up.
Yes, he should be tested- ASAP.
I did hear DH grumble under
I did hear DH grumble under his breath as he was walking out of the bathroom with S8, "The kid should be doing that by himself by now."
You think?
Ummm yes! Why isn't DH
Ummm yes! Why isn't DH instructing S8 HOW to do these things himself?
I know! BS1 is already saying
I know! BS1 is already saying "potty", watching mommy brush her teeth, trying to sweep, picking up toys, matching colors, trying to bathe too by himself, I could go on and on.
Bathing his 8 year old son though and tucking him in like a baby too? Strange. I feel sorry for DH. Boy, he has got it coming with his son. ALL SS8 will do is play Wii, which his mommy, of course brings over so that BS1 can take it apart and step on it. This kid should be helping his dad out, READING, and making friends and not rolling on the floor with a freakin Wii! grrrrrr
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^YES!!!!!!!!!!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!^^^^^^^^^^^^^
My bio son does have a LD. He
My bio son does have a LD. He has even been tested. He is great at math but reading is much harder for him. He's 9 but if you gave him a chapter book that would be on a 3rd grade level he wouldn't be able to read it without a great deal of help. He can tell time.Just most of the time he will not stop and really read the "big hand " & Little Hand" So he doesn't get right, but if I make hime he can.
But the bathing OMG :jawdrop: He has been giving his self a bath for years. He will not even let me in the bathroom while he's in there! He says I'm a "Girl" and "girls" cant se his weewee. HEHEHE cracks me up!
thx guys!
thx guys!
My SO has 2 very different
My SO has 2 very different kids. Both boys, both over the age of 8 now. His older boy has/had a reading disablity. Neither parent took an active role in fixing it, so eventually the school took charge of the situation and put him in a 8 week, half a day each day program to get him caught up to grade level. He is quick as a whip in math and all other classes, so his issue was just reading. He is back at his age level of reading now (or so SO says... I'm not too sure he knows himself) But he didn't catch on in the beginning and got too far behind and needed to be taught at a younger age level and kind of "start over". The younger one still wasn't wiping his own bum when I started dating SO and he was almost 7. As soon as I made a HUGE MONUMENTAL ISSUE about it, SO started making him do it himself. The issue was over and he was doing it himself. He didn't like the stink and mess... so as long as someone else was doing it for him, he was okay with that!
I guess what I'm getting at here is - unless someone teaches them how and follows up on them... kids won't do things on their own. If your BF and his EX are still bathing that boy... he will let them. If he's having issues at school and no one is giving him extra time or attention to see if he can catch up... he won't. Kids don't like cleaning. Kids don't like school. Threats won't work either. Sit him down with a tutor and tell him "This is something you have to do". The tutor should know if he is capable or not of the work he has in front of him after a short while.
Good luck!
PS... can you tell by looking at him that he may be a little "slow"??
*facepalm* The kid needs
*facepalm*
The kid needs help. It's definitely not normal that he doesn't know how to read or tell the time at fuckin 8 years old. I hate it when when parents don't step up to deal with their kids' issues because they "have no time" or "I'll do it tomorrow" or "I'm embarrassed"? WTF?????
Being "embarrassed" about the situation won't solve jack shit. As for the bathing, again your DH needs to step up and show him these things. Maybe it's the mother's fault as well, but your DH can't change BM and her parenting skills or lack thereof. He can only change himself and starts being more involved because these are serious issues that can affect the boy for many years to come. Damn.
And the sooner he starts the better. Like NOW..ASAP.
My SD9 has been showering &
My SD9 has been showering & bathing herself since around 5, can read but think that only developed when she turned about 8 & cannot tell the time - even a digital clock confuses her! I believe she is a couple of beers short of a six pack in a lot of areas & DH tells me that BM & her sister lack in the same areas - such as initiative & just general day to day stuff. When a kid has everything done for them they will continue to allow someone to do it for them unless they are made to do it themselves.
I taught SD to tie shoelaces, get dressed herself & lots of other basics & I find out BM STILL does these things for her at 9!!!
Thanks again! It is indeed
Thanks again! It is indeed frustrating to me as his SM. I've been with the boy since he was 3 years old. I potty trained him at 3, (myself), got him to get OUT of my husband's bed. :O , taught him to tie his shoes, etc. He remembers "me" as far back as his own dad now BUT it is again frustrating to have to sit back and watch his lazy mum baby him, put him anywhere she can while she does nothing and then send him here when she needs a "break".
I, myself would have already seeked advice from school BUT it seems that when ever SM offers free tutoring, etc. it is not wanted by either poarent because they want to play, "mommy and daddy." SS8 was just over and had homework, (spelling) could NOT do it, focus and got up from the table AFTER I tried to help and I could not do or say a thing. Daddy let him stop and take a "break." grrrr
SS8 is getting BIG and it is startinbg to look ridiculous. I don't know what to say or do in this situation? Everyone hates the "evil" SM, it seems. Yeah, the evil SM who is trying to help your kid grow in to an adult, hopefully...