Thanks to a recent post on this forum, I discovered the book "Stepmonster: A New Look at Why Real Stepmothers Think, Feel, and Act the Way We Do", by Wednesday Martin. It is a relavation after 29 years of being a stepmother. After all these years I have finally found a book that perfectly describes what I have been through, and why all my attempts to be the perfect, loving stepmother have been futile.