This story has LOTS of background, which I wont bore everyone with, but I will try to cover as much as possible.

My Dad and SM live 6 hours away. They adopted a girl (I will refer to as AS) 16 years ago. AS is a HUGE PITA. It really boils down to my parents not parenting her, on top of some mental issues that she has and some learning disablities that she has as well. But really the lack of parenting.

Due to the distance, my sister and I (we live in the same town) do not get to see Dad and family very often.

Last time dad and family come to our town was for my wedding (10/2013). Prior to that they had been to ourtown for my oldest niece's graduation party in May 2013.

AS did some really awful things to my house in May 2013. (I wont go into detail). At the time she was going through some SERIOUS mental issues (She ended up in the hospital). These issues were on top of the other issues of her basically helping herself to everything (She is very overweight) in the fridge and pantry without asking, being dirty, not washing her hands, etc. She also interupts when we try to talk to dad and SM and acts jealous of the grandkids (ages 9). So last time they stayed at my house, it was a HOT MESS and it was agreed upon that next time they come to town, they will get a hotel.

I am very OCD when it comes to my house. I run a tight ship. Expect things to be kept as clean as possible, etc. Normally I have the policy "Make yourself at home" but NEVER with AS due to she will literally eat me out of house and home and help herself to ANYTHING of mine.

I know my parents pick up on how I feel about entertaining them in my home. Its always been something that goes undiscussed. Like I said it boils down to how they parent and I really dont want to bring that up to my own parents.

Okay, so here is my dilema.

They are coming to town, 6 hours. They said they are getting a hotel. This hotel is actually 30 minutes from where we live. They chose they hotel because it has a pool (AS NEEDS a pool) and they can smoke in their hotel room (Ya nasty, so I dont need any remarks on that).

My youngest niece has dance competition practice almost all day on Saturday. It will be a PITA for my sister to then travel 30 minutes in the evening to visit parents at hotel room.

I am free on Saturday, so I am open. However my ideal is not spending all day on Saturday at their hotel in their smoke filled room. (only bonus would be the pool for BS to swim in)

If the hotel was closer. Great. But its not. I feel they are driving quite a distance to see us, but we wont really have the time to see them if they stay in this hotel.

So I sent my dad a text on Saturday and offered to let them stay at my house. He responded back with "I'll let you know"

I havent heard back.

My assumptions is that they are weighing if they think it will be worth it to stay at our house. They know what happened last time, they know what AS is capable of. It probably boils down to, if they want to spend the weekend parenting her or not (they will be forced to if they stay at our house) or just doing what they normally do, which is what they can do if they have a hotel.

If my dad takes me up on my offer I want to find a polite way to say "Make sure you are parenting AS while in my home." Any thoughts on that? Normally I am outspoken and have no problem addressing issues, but when it comes to this, its always been difficult. (It's always been. Like an elephant in the room.)

I want to spend as much time as possible with my parents while they are here. I dont want to do it at the cost of my sanity and having to deal with AS.