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Brittany Maynard- Death with Diginity- Anyone care to discuss?

zerostepdrama's picture

http://www.thebrittanyfund.org/

I'm okay with what she chose to do.

My friends son passed away last year from a brain tumor. Awful to see someone suffer as he did. Lost his eye sight, part of his hearing, in horrible pain.

With many cancers, tumors, illnesses that are terminal, I think its awful for the person to suffer and for their families to have to see them suffer.

I would maybe even chose this option knowing how awful the outcome is going to be. I would wait until I was a little more sicker though (Not that I know exactly how Brittany was feeling, etc) mostly because I am a mother and I would want to push through for as long as I could to have time with my son.

But its sad when someone is in their bed, hospice called in, can hardly function, basically just waiting to die. The wait for the family is awful as well.

Prayers with her family.

Comments

Ljcapp1's picture

^ Exactly what I was thinking...we are more compassionate to animals who suffer than people.

Jsmom's picture

Watched my husband die in misery. Absolutely horrible memories of his last days that is similar to PTSD for me.

I think what she did is great and brought attention to the problem. Maybe the right people noticed that she had to move to OR to do this. I would do the same thing.

Aeron's picture

The only issue I see with it is society's double stance on what is essentially suicide. This woman has been/was so supported in her choice to choose to end her life. But when someone like say Robin Williams chooses to end their life, the only thing seemingly spoken of is the tragedy, the selfishness, how it was a wrong choice. Which makes it seem that we still take physical illness far more seriously than mental illness.

I think either way it's a tragedy. I understand why she chose to do it. I have no ill feelings about it at all. I just think that if we want to support the choice to die we need to examine what "too much" pain and suffering really means because I have a hard time imagining a family being so supportive of a member wanting to make this choice when "all" they have is depression or some such other mental illness.

AllySkoo's picture

I don't think it's really a double standard though. Only terminally ill patients in those states can get end-of-life prescriptions.

In fact, one of the things Maynard said that struck me was that she disagreed with people calling what she was going to do "suicide". She said (and I'm paraphrasing here), "I'm not killing myself. Cancer is killing me. I'm just choosing the date."

Aeron's picture

I understand it's only the terminally ill. Though if it's release Because of the pain and suffering they will go through, who's to say it won't one day move to patients with MS, Parkinson's, or other illness that aren't technically fatal?

And I disagree with what she said. I understand her point, but life itself comes with a terminal diagnosis. Cancer was what was killing her until she took some pills that did the job instead. That was her making a choice to kill herself and not let the cancer do it. I don't disagree with her doing that, but I think it's spin to say she didn't kill herself. Getting to bypass the pain and all the other wretched symptoms of her type of cancer was I'm sure a blessing to her and her loved ones and I'm not trying to diminish that. But she got to make that choice and it was a choice to end her life earlier than it would have naturally done.

Shaman29's picture

There is nothing natural about dying from terminal diseases that break down your body and mind. Cancer, ALS, Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, dementia, etc.

moeilijk's picture

My mom has Parkinson's. She's lost a lot of motor control, but she's only just starting to lose her short-term memory... could be old age, could be the onset of dementia.

Nothing terrifies her more than to be alert and unable to speak or communicate due to Parkinson's. But a close second is to lose her dignity through dementia.

Neither condition would be 'terminal'.

If she could tell us she wanted to end her life, we would do what we could to help her (it's illegal where she is, but there are steps to hasten the process). But where's the line?

That's what terrifying. I wouldn't want anyone to lose a moment of a good and happy life due to SOMEONE ELSE being too quick to decide that the dementia/Parkinson's has advanced far enough.

StepKat's picture

Eh, touchy subject if you ask me. I’ve seen what it does to a family if someone dies of a terminal illness or from suicide. My dad’s father passed away from long cancer, my mother’s mom slowly died of heart disease, my dad’s mother is currently battling leukemia, and I watch one of my ex boyfriend’s family nearly be ripped apart when his grandfather shot himself in the head with a shotgun. I can say that my family was able to except the deaths of our family members better than how my ex’s family excepted the suicide. Even though, my grandfather for example, was in pain he was comforted by all his family members and he passed away naturally (more natural than poison or a bullet in the head). My grandfather fought the pain just so he could be with his wife and family a little bit longer. I hated seeing him like that, I hate seeing anyone suffering from an illness.

godess-clueless's picture

My mother was brought home from the hospital and set up with hospice. There was a limited time to say her goodbyes to family and friends. Morphine was made available thru hospice for pain. Even though she was given a projected time of 6 weeks to live, I always felt she really chose her own date . Two weeks after bringing her home she insisted her pain was increased. The night before she had " girls night together" with her daughters and a close female friend. She sat up in a chair, joked, ate a few bites of dinner and even had a few sips of a margarita that she asked my sil to make for all of us to share. A toast to our last party together. Next day hospice increased her medication at her request due to the increased pain.

She said she was leaving that day. She was correct. She died just before midnight. Once her medication was increased late in the afternoon, she slept and never woke up. All of us daughters laid on the bed with her, talked about the pleasant memories that we had as children and said our goodbyes.

She could have been forced to hang in for a couple extra weeks. She could have been refused the increase in medication. I always felt she chose to decide her own level of pain that she would tolorate and her own time.

Anon2009's picture

I say this as a Christian. I respect her decision. Ultimately it's her life and she has to live with her decision.

SecondGeneration's picture

The hardest thing about watching a loved one die of a terminal degenerative illness is watching them wither and die before their body does. My step father was diagnosed with a brain tumour, he was given 12 months, they operated, removed a large portion of the tumour and within 4 months he was no longer my step father. His suffering was drawn out as he did indeed make the 12 months prognosis. But he died a different man, he died in more pain and discomfort than anyone should and he was lucky, he was able to die at home. But I had grieved for him before that day came.
I believe, as others have stated, that we are more compassionate to animals. We do not keep dogs alive riddled with tumours, unable to walk, feed themselves or clean themselves, we call it inhumane, yet we do it to our nearest and dearest.

I do understand the concern, I do understand the constant worry that if death with dignity is approved then a minority may seek to abuse it. And that is a valid concern but there is a minority that seeks to abuse any and every system, benefit or choice that our modern world gives. Our duty is simply to make it so that there is a small a risk as possible.

I believe that each case should be taken on an independent basis. If the patient is of sound mind and has the capacity to make their own decision then that right should be given to them.

There was a case a few years ago in the UK. A lady with MS, she didnt want to undertake an assisted death then, but as she was already wheelchair bound and her MS was aggressive, she knew there would come a time that her pain level would be too high and her quality of life would suffer. However, given her condition, her husband would need to assist her in leaving the UK to travel to a place she could end her life in dignity. She, in her best mind wanted an answer from the legal system to know whether her husband would be arrested and prosecuted for assisting her or not. It was a very emotionally charged case and one that hits very close to home for me.
My own BM has MS also, she has been fortunate, but should she in the future turn to me and tell me that she wants to have control over when her life should end, isnt it part of my moral duty to attempt to aid her?

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

All I know is I bawled when I read her story. I can't imagine having to be in her position. I can't imagine being her husband or her parents.

Brittany made a choice about her life. That's her right. I respect it. Seriously, we put animals "to sleep" out of compassion but allow people to suffer horrible deaths. She didn't want her family to remember her that way.

I don't see it as suicide, really. She was going to die anyway. There was no question.

I have so much respect for this woman. I don't think I would've been nearly so courageous and level-headed in her position. God bless her and her family. Sad

stepinhell617's picture

Before my double lung transplant I had a stash of leftover various painkillers. My lungs were turning into scar tissue, there is no effective treatment, there is no cure, it is always fatal and there is a great deal of pain as your lungs stop inflating. Half of all people on the list die waiting for new lungs and suffocating to death slowly/drowning in your own lung fluid is a horrible way to go. Luckily, I will not need my pills but my husband knew I had them and supported any decision I made. Choosing to go to sleep is so much better than respiratory failure. I am glad she was able to make the decision that was right for her.