BM text to DH- How to get him to understand
BM sent DH a text on Friday. She is blocked but I guess after 3 months the numbers fall off and you have to add them back on.
So here is the text verbatim:
U no good piece of dog shit. YSD txt in August and u still have nor responded to her. What a father. No good piece of shit. Have not changes at all. Wish u dead.
****
YSD did text in August asking for money and DH said no and that was the end of it. Not sure why DH hasn't reached out to YSD since then. Or why she hasn't reached out to him either. She's 17. Its not typical for DH to go that long without talking to YSD. Not sure what was going on, not my business.
So Sunday rolls around and DH takes YSD out to dinner.
I told him, BM basically acted like a bitch and then you did what she wanted you to do.
Background: This is the way that BM has always talked to DH. He said this was one of the biggest issues in their marriage, her mouth and the crap she says. DH has learned to basically tune out BM and what she says. It does not bother him how she talks to him because he goes into coping mode and mentally breaks away from it.
I have no issue with him making plans with his daughter. But he did it because of the text BM sent. I feel like he just reinforced BM's bad behavior and she is going to think she can get away with it again.
Had she sent a text "Hey YSD said she hasn't heard from you, what's going on?" OR just let YSD and DH handle it. She is 17. She doesn't need her mommy telling off her daddy every time something happens that she doesn't like. Again this is typical BM- if she is mad about something that DH did or didn't do with the skids then she texts DH going off on him. Even for the adult skids.
Not sure if there is a resolution or if DH should have done anything differently. I guess in my mind, maybe if he had waited a little longer? Idk...
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Comments
Wow, what a classy woman. I
Wow, what a classy woman. I agree he did just what she wanted him to do. Did he block her again?
Yes she's blocked again.
Yes she's blocked again.
Well, obviously YSD told BM
Well, obviously YSD told BM that your DH did not respond to her.
Your DH should have contacted YSD and reminded her that he DID respond to her text (albeit, not how she wanted), why was she telling BM otherwise?
He should not have taken YSD to dinner just because BM got on his ass. It does reinforce BM's behavior and makes her feel in control.
This has happened a few times
This has happened a few times before I noticed. Where YSD stretches the truth to make DH look bad. Not sure what her reasoning is. When she was younger I used to just chalk it up to BM twisting the truth for her own agenda. Or BM twisting what YSD is telling her.
My guess is BM probably asked YSD when was the last time she talked to DH and the conversation went from there.
But they both got what they wanted.
I know as a kid with a bat
I know as a kid with a bat shit crazy mom, sometimes I would stretch the truth or make things up because it was the only way to get my mom to engage with me. Obviously as an adult I can see how unhealthy and unfair that was but as a child, I knew that my mom didn't really care what was going on in my life unless it somehow made my dad or any of his family members look bad, she was such a spiteful and vindictive person it was the only way I knew to be close to her.
I wonder if the same is true with your SD and her BM. BM is obviously a toxic individual just based on that text.
DH should've text BM back -
DH should've text BM back - and I'm not responding to you either bitch cause it's got nothing to do with you..
Oh I wish he would do that
Oh I wish he would do that sometimes. But that will only encourage the cow even more.
and encourage her and have
and }:) encourage her and have a ball.... start a game... lets see how many text messages it takes before the police knocks on the door, before she calls, before she blocks us.... looser has to rub winners feet or back or what ever..
I will turn this into a very fun game lol
The ONE time I did engage her
The ONE time I did engage her and send her a text she didn't even respond back! I was ready to go at it with her and I got nothing! LOL! Instead she texted DH to whine about me texting her.
She just runs her mouth but
She just runs her mouth but can't actually back it up I guess. It won't happen again and the text I sent her was factual and wasn't too mean and I only insulted her on the sly like twice.
I agree and understand what
I agree and understand what you are saying. I know it bothered me more then DH. He's used to dealing with her. Ugh...
I appreciate it. Yes I do
I appreciate it. Yes I do need to breathe because this has been irking me. I want to go and sign up her phone number for every horrible telemarketing scheme that exists. LOL
Not sure. He didn't respond
Not sure. He didn't respond to her. And when she's blocked it will say "message failed" if she sends a message.
I know. It's everything that
I know. It's everything that we already know about her. This is exactly how every text is from her. Not even kidding.
LMAO! I know
LMAO! I know :O
Did he atleast bring up BM's
Did he atleast bring up BM's text to SD when they were out to dinner? He should have asked her why she lied to her mother and he should have done it starting the first time she lied about him.
Not sure but I am guessing
Not sure but I am guessing not because YSD boyfriend was there too. Even if he wasn't, he wouldn't say anything because he wouldn't want to hurt her precious feelings and make her feel bad.
your husband had four
your husband had four children with that woman?!?! Was she ever at all nice and decent?
Ha ha probably not. He had a
Ha ha probably not. He had a REALLY bad childhood growing up, so I really don't think he realized that her behavior wasn't normal. He did a lot of running away from her, leaving her, staying out at the bars, ignoring her (which probably drove her crazier, I kind of get that) They were legally married 16 years but separated way more then actually together during that time. I think he had really low self esteem and felt like he had to stay with her.