Long time, stalk reader. Finally signed up and I have posted comments on a few things. I have 2 SD's 18 & 13, we also have 3 DS's, 9,5,1. I saw the post mommy0104 made on the subject of getting along with skids and it clicked with me. I am one of the "lucky" ones that gets along with her skids. But I got lucky with the oldest, and fought like hell for the youngest. We do get along now, but it doesn't take away all the problems and isn't all sunshine and rainbows. So to the beginning, yes this is long. Sorry but Couldn't figure out how to shorten.

I have known my DH since I was 12. He was my older brothers bff. We got together when I was 26. We had seen each other at different times over the years, but he was married, so that was that. He called me while they were separated and we talked. After he finally made up his mind and filed for divorce we started dating. We always had feelings for each other, but I was shy, and he was scared of dating his bff's little sister. If only we had been honest when we were teens, but oh well.

When we got together the girls were 2 and 7. The oldest liked me from the start. She remembered seeing me before, and I had always been sweet to her. The little one I had only seen twice, so I was a stranger to her yet. The girls went back to their mom happy telling them all the fun thing we did. Then YSD started coming over singing "Zea is a bitch, Zea is a bitch". SD7 said Mom doesn't like you and talks bad about you. I told her that was fine as long as she and her sister and their dad liked me I didn't care. It took about two months and we got YSD to not sing her song anymore. Couldn't get upset with her, she was 2 a repeating what mommy said.

Then about 6 months later YSD came over and would throw up every time I cooked or asked her to do something.(pick up toys, lay down for her nap) But it was only when I did something, not her dad. He told his ex she was getting sick, so she could see a doctor about it. This continued for a good 6 months. My poor dh was beside himself thinking something was wrong. We were fighting because he thought I was being to mean on his poor sick baby girl and was expecting to much. And she would like me so much better if I would just lighten up. She was 4 by now. One day when he was home from work he cooked them hotdogs and chips for lunch, and low and behold she didn't get sick. After lunch he laid her down for a nap, thrilled her belly didn't hurt. I took him and OSD outside to play in the backyard. He said see it is you being mean to her that makes her sick. I told him the same thing I had been for months, that she was playing him and was making herself throw up so he would blame me like he was doing. He argued with me and I told him I could prove it to him with two questions to OSD and four cooked meals, which included the lunch he just made, and if he didn't see it himself at least some what by the end of the weekend, I would lighten up, but if I was right he had to step up. He didn't believe me, as usual, but decided to play along to "humor" me. We had decide at the begining to not question the girls on anything that happened at their moms house, and I told him I had to break that rule. He said fine as long as it wasn't anything not pertaining to this. I asked OSD if her sister threw up at their moms house like she did here. She said sometime's but only when mom is screaming about how p'ed off she was at her for something. I said ok and asked my last question. Does mom talk about my cooking? She looked at the ground and didn't want to answer. After I told her I wouldn't get mad, and my DH told her it was ok to answer she told us. "Everytime I say that you made something good Mom says I don't know what I am talking about and that all you food is gross and not fit for a dog to eat." I then sent her off to play again. I looked at my DH and he said that it really didn't prove anything because a kid just can't make themselves puke on command without being upset first. I said ok and told him the rest of my plan. I said you made lunch and she didn't get sick. You keep them outside while I make supper, when it is done I will come play and you tell them you are going to go cook and I will keep them outside. Call us in when you are done cooking and we will come eat. Low and behold no puking after supper. He still said it didn't prove anything, but I could see the "oh shit" look starting to form. The next day I made and served breakfast. Cerial, toast and half an apple, I kept it simple to help prove my point. About 15 min after eating the puking began, imagine that. They had junk food for lunch no problem because I didn't touch it and she didn't get sick. Come supper I had him cook hotdogs and chips like the day before, while I kept them busy. When he was done he kept them busy while I "cooked". She threw up half way through the meal.

The look on his face said it all. He took the girls back to their moms house and when he came home was acting the fool. He kept apologizing, and saying he couldn't understand it, because she is always giving you hugs and asking you to play, why would she do it. I said because she is a kid and can get her way, you babying and spoiling her and getting mad at me, which is what makes her mom happy. Disney Dad left the building that night. It took a lot of work from both of us, him stepping up, and me letting up on her to get a decent balance going. We have had ups and down with the kids, but once YSD realized we were working as a team and she couldn't shake it, life became easier.

I still have lots of skid and BM problems and can relate to most of the things being posted here. Which is why I love this site. At times I do not get along with the girls, But I do love them and even when we are not talking to each other and driving ourselves nuts, they have never resorted to the abuse and downright inaapropriate treatment that some of you have to endure. So that does make me lucky, but the psycho crap we all have to deal with is still there.