OT vent- Adopted daughter driving me crazy with expecting others to provide for her baby while she spends her money on herself.
My former stepdaughter was abandoned by BM at 13, lived in a group home but then was placed with me by CPS when she was 15. I wound up adopting her at sixteen. She moved out at 18. She had a baby last year at 19. About four months ago she moved into an apartment with her biomom as roomates. AD20 pays half of everything. Her BM gives her really bad advice and she takes it every time....drives me crazy!
Anyway, I went over there yesterday to visit and find out plans for today as it's the baby's first b-day. I am told she is not getting a costume or having a party because she can't afford it. BUT AD20 has a new tongue piercing which cost at least $60. I go out and buy the baby a costume, as we are putting it on I say, "where are her socks?" AD20 says "I don't have any because I can't afford them." I asked her "Why do you have a new tongue piercing if your baby has no socks?" And AD's BM has the nerve to say, "that's really none of your business!"
I went off on her and now AD20 is mad at me but still expects me to come over today and bring a cake/presents. I told her she can come to my house but her BM ain't invited. Am I wrong for that?
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OMG! Now AD's BM is texting
OMG! Now AD's BM is texting me that I'm cruel for trying to keep her from her granddaughter on her 1st B-day. BITCH! If you had been a responsible mother I wouldn't even be involved. Buy your granddaughter some socks and a cake if you're such a great grandma. Ugggg....
You do not have to do
You do not have to do anything with BM. You daughter is a fool for staying with her BM. I would watch how much you financially support this girl, it will just continue and continue. She needs a plan....
Both these women need a
Both these women need a reality check and to have priorities explained to them. The BM sounds like a complete waste of space.
That poor baby. Can you buy her a job lot of clothes, nappies etc (just necessities) so she has what she needs at least?
This makes my blood boil, my baby is almost 6 months old and I would NEVER see her (or the SD's) go without while I spent my money on unnecessary c*ap.
Exactly. Pisses me off no end
Exactly. Pisses me off no end because there were times when my kids were little that I had next to nothing, but I went to thrift stores, garage sales, clearance racks, whatever I had to do to get them what they needed. I can't believe she would spend money on tongue piercing when her baby had no socks. It's also just extreme laziness because if she told me the baby needed socks, I would give her the money for them. There is absolutely no reason for that baby to go without.
No that is my BD19. Between
No that is my BD19. Between us my FDH and I have five. SD20, AD20, BD19, BS13 and SS10.
I've got an acquaintance that
I've got an acquaintance that does this. She's on state aid, food stamps, and her kids go without a lot. Raggedy clothes, months between hair cuts, and VERY poor nutrition. They often can't participate in stuff cause mom can't afford it. She recently got a new tattoo, went on a couple of trips, plays a very expensive sport where she spends almost every evening, and gets her hair cut and her everything else waxed at a salon to the tune of $40 every two weeks or so. It all adds up, and I've pretty much totally stopped associating with her.