Things have been as quiet as they ever get in our crazy family. SO back to work after surgery, SD19 is going to college and wedding planning. AD19 and her partner are taking good care of the baby. BD18 just got promoted at work and doing well in college. BS13 and SS9 are typical rowdy boys but doing well. I have not spoken to BM in months despite all kinds of craziness on her part. She actually hasn't even bothered me at all since I ignored her request to work on our relationship as a New Year's resolution (WTF!) All is chugging along. Then wham...here we go on the roller coaster.
SD 19 calls me today and asks me how mad I would be if I had to hang out with her mom. I told her I won't be mad cause I will leave. She says, what if you are in a different city? I say out with it. Turns out BM has invited herself to SO's family function this summer in his hometown. She did this by calling SO's sister and telling her she was uncomfortable with her son being so far away without her and asking if she can come. Now SD19 is asking me to go along with it. I really, really, really think it's a bad idea. I am meeting many of these extended family members for the first time and BM was really bringing out the worst in me with her drama, which is why I started ignoring her. We have been civil in the past, but then she decided she wanted SO back and it all went downhill from there.

An hour later, AD19 (SD from previous relationship) calls me and says that her BM, who abandoned her causing her to be in the care of CPS who ultimately placed her with me and I adopted her, found her on Facebook and wants to reconcile. She would like to have a relationship with her 5 month old grandbaby. She has been out of the picture for years. AD19 said she wants my advice, but I think really she wants to see her and is trying to see if it will hurt my feelings. I am concerned because her BM had drug and mental health problems in the past and unless some things have changed, I see this lady coming in and then flaking back out, breaking AD's heart and causing chaos in the process. It's stressing me out. So...how can I avoid being the bad guy with the girls in respect to their BMS while staying out the drama that I see coming?