SS19 and college tuition, the plot thickens...
I'm being somewhat intentionally silly with this title. Anyway, I got a job. My first real, full job after 10 years of medical training. Needless to say I'm pretty excited. Won't start until the fall. How's this relate to ss19 tuition you ask?
Well... I chose to go academic instead of private practice. This was the right choice for me for a number of reasons. Academic pays significantly less than I could earn in private practice but has better lifestyle and benefits. One of those benefits is $ for a kid/skid college tuition after I've been there 3 years. The amount is actually more than we are currently giving SS19.
So so much for saying I wouldn't pay for skids college ;).
The money is use it or lose it. The only catch is the kids need to be our dependent a under federal law. Right now we have 40 percent custody, and we would need to increase to 50 percent.
So of course this has already become an issue. I figured great, we will give each skid what we promised then when the benefit kicks in we will give them that. It's a little more so maybe we'd retroactively give a little extra to the kids that graduated so it's "fair."
DH of course wants to add my tuition benefit to the money he's already promised. I told him if we do that it's like it doesn't even exist. It doesn't help us one bit. Frankly I can see both sides of the argument. He can afford the amount we are currently giving, but... We have joint finances. So if he didn't spend it then we could fund retirement etc. If he does insist on doing this I may switch to private practice in 3 years time. Then I can keep all the extra dough for myself!
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Good for you!!!!! Thing2 is
Good for you!!!!!
Thing2 is taking his MCAT in June and will be applying to Medical Schools this summer. He wants to do research or academia, doesn't want to practice, for the very reasons you state, too.
I feel like he might change his mind once he gets started? Who knows....
GREAT JOB!!!!
Good point. I could leave the
Good point. I could leave the job in a few years, there are really no guarantees.
You mean why would I give
You mean why would I give them the tuition benefit? Because it's literally free money to me. It doesn't come out my salary- just a use it or lose it extra.
Thanks! I'm very excited
Thanks! I'm very excited about the job and would have taken it regardless.
I think I wasn't clear about what I meant about making it "fair" between the kids. What I meant was fair between the skids. They are each 2 years apart, so the benefits would kick in for SD17 junior year, and cover SD15 and SS13 for their entire college years. I was thinking if SS19 got X per year and other skids got X + $2000 each year perhaps we could find a way to equalize it after the fact.
Asshat makes millions a year.
Asshat makes millions a year. Literally millions.
He doesn't pay for everything, and I totally support that. We believe that kids need skin in the college game, so Asshat pays tuition, Thing1 and Thing2 cover most of their rent, food, utilities, and I provide cars, insurance and a small stipend each month.
DH gets sooooooooooooo mad that Asshat doesn't pay for everything college related. And I mean really mad about it. I just look at him like this :jawdrop: - no one paid for my education and I think (as Asshat does) that they need to be part of the money solution.
It's the ONLY thing Asshat
It's the ONLY thing Asshat and I agree on.
DH, on the other hand, feels like I'm an ogre for feeling that kids need skin in the game.
Yup - his parents paid for everything.
Yes this is what I think.
Yes this is what I think. This should be our contribution. But I see DH point as well. If he can afford X amount he feels why should he not still be able to give this?
The truth is BM either can't or won't pay her share. Our counselor basically says we should cut her out of our lives, figure out what WE can afford, and don't let the kids go anywhere more expensive than that. I'm sort of moving toward that position myself, since it allows much less contact with BM and much less stress overall.
But your DH CANNOT afford it.
But your DH CANNOT afford it. He has several other kids, he has retirement to worry about and he spends money like it grows on trees. Your DH needs to start saving money for him and for you.
SS19 is going to college
SS19 is going to college before the tuition benefit kicks in. The others may benefit if you stay there long enough.
However, be prepared for the skid to not want to go to the college with the free tuition. I know two people who work at colleges and have the free tuition benefit. Neither of their kids wanted to go to that college. But, the major they wanted was offered, and they were bios not skids, so the parents said either go where it's free tuition or pay for it yourself. Both kids went for the free tuition, did four years, and graduated.
H needs to not consider the future benefit when deciding on his contribution to SS19. Adding a future benefit to the consideration has the same value as counting your lottery winnings to pay tuition. If it's not real now it doesn't count.
Agree with what everyone else
Agree with what everyone else is saying.
Upping SS19's tuition now to "equalize" things is absurd. You have no idea where you'll be in three years. In essence, you're becoming an indentured servant to your skids if you DH raids the other kids' funds for SS19. What if you hate the job and want to leave? What if you get a better offer that doesn't have the free tuition benefit.