The ASS Chronicles - T Minus 23 Days
When I got home from work yesterday, DH said, "come on upstairs." We went into our bedroom and he told me that when ASS got home from school yesterday, he asked DH to take him to the Secretary of State (what we call the DMV here in Michigan) to "get that State ID thing" that apparently they had previously discussed. DH was working from home, so off they went.
On the way to the SOS, ASS once again asked DH about moving to Frank's house for the summer. Once again, DH told him the reasons why he didn't think it was a good idea. Once again he told ASS that our house was "not a revolving door" and that once he was out, he was out. DH asked me what I thought about ASS'S plan, and once again I told him that I have no opinion other than the reinforcement that out means out.
DH then told me that he wanted to give ASS his computer and phone back. As you might recall, we have had this discussion before and in the end, I decided that I don't really care, because I don't care, and also because the tracking device on the phone and the spyware on the computer will allow DH to "keep track" of ASS, and I know that is very important to DH. I told DH that I had no problem with it BUT, and before I could finish that sentence, DH said, "oh, and I told him he has to clean out that pigsty and keep it clean until he leaves the house and he agreed."
Hold up - "was this YOUR idea or ASS'S idea?" "Mine - and I told him that I wouldn't even consider actually giving him back his stuff until he did it and even then, he wouldn't get his shit back until I decided his room was clean enough." I had no objection, asked no questions and went downstairs to start making dinner (roasted salmon in lemon butter sauce and it was delicious!!!).
As I was in the kitchen prepping and making dinner, I kept seeing ASS walking in and out of his room. First with a shit ton of laundry, then into the closet to get cleaning supplies, then the vacuum, then the Windex and paper towels. After a while, DH came downstairs, checked ASS'S room, then gave him back his phone and computer.
He hasn't made a decision about letting ASS go live with Frank, but again, he doesn't really have to. He is going to call Frank's mom this weekend, and we will discuss the "ASS plan" with Therapist when we see her next Wednesday, but I think DH will give ASS his blessing.
I am 99% positive that I will be ASS-free in less than 30 days 
Now, ASS moving to FrankTown means that he will be in very close proximity to Medusa, but since she lives off the grid (easier to avoid her responsibilities that way) and ASS is, well, an immature and incapable ASS, I doubt he will be able to find her, if he even wants to find her. DH is concerned, and rightfully so, that if ASS makes contact with her, it will open up a whole new can of worms as far as BabyVoice and Karate Kid are concerned, but I reminded him of three things:
1 - she has no visitation, hasn't laid eyes on them in 4.5 years, and would have to jump through a thousand hoops to even have a chance at getting visitation;
2 - ASS is an adult and if he wants to find her, there isn't anything we can do about that;
3 - IF she starts contacting BV and KK, we can block her phone number(s) and email address.
I peeked in ASS'S room this morning before I left for work. Aside from the smell, and the small pile of laundry he still has to do, his room is spotless. I also noticed that his computer cord was sitting on top of his desk, so he hasn't hooked that back up yet. I would have taken pictures for you all, but DH was still home - lol!!!
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I agree. If he's 18 he should
I agree. If he's 18 he should be able to make his own choices even if they are not the best. If he fails he fails but you stick to you're out you're out.
I hope your DH won't buckle under the pressure and try to take him back when he fails.
Yeah - and ASS will be able
Yeah - and ASS will be able to make his own choice with no involvement from us, for sure. I am very relived that DH is sticking to the "no revolving door" point
It is indicative of the
It is indicative of the social/emotional level of ASS. I asked DH if ASS realizes that he doesn't need DH's permission and he couldn't really answer it. DH does realize that if he tells ASS no, ASS can still go, and he's okay with that.
For now, DH feels like it's better to let ASS think he needs his consent.
As for me? I don't care either way, just as long as he's out
I'm sure you'll be so
I'm sure you'll be so relieved in 30 days! Party at WOB's house!
Franktown? Now I'll have to be on the lookout for some kid who doesn't respect authority. Lol!
Yep - FrankTown. Not too far
Yep - FrankTown. Not too far from you, my friend. I will send you a picture of ASS so you can plug your nose if you ever see him
Dup
Dup
Nope - ASS will not be coming
Nope - ASS will not be coming home. DH has been very clear with ASS and I have been very clear with DH.
I have launched three - I know how to do it
While no parent wants to see their kid struggle, no parent wants to be treated like shit and walked all over, either. This ASS has done nothing but literally and figuratively tell DH and me to EFF OFF for the last 4 years.
As Echo says, when someone tells you who they are, you should believe them. I will add "even if it's your own kid."
ASS won't go into the military, and they wouldn't accept him anyway. ASS is an adult, and neither DH nor I can force him to do anything he doesn't want to. ASS'S plan will be his own - success or failure, it's all on him now.
If he was a different kid, I would feel differently about helping him when he fails. But, he isn't. So, I don't.
ASS has relatives who may or may not take him in. Not my problem, not DH's problem. Neither of us subscribe to the theory that just because you are parentelly (I made this word up) responsible for someone means that you have to take their shit. ASS wants to be a adult? Great, he will quickly learn that he can't be a filthy pig and expect the world to tolerate his bullshit.
ASS is a grifter, like his mother before him. His ego will NEVER allow him to admit that he doesn't know everything or that he needs DH's help. His ego will destroy him, just like it destroyed his mother.
Not my effed up circus, not my narcissistic monkey.
I am fine with the tracking
I am fine with the tracking software - ASS will be wandering a little bit after Frank goes to college in the fall and he sure as hell won't tell DH where he is. It will ease DH's mind to be able to know where ASS is, even if ASS doesn't tell him. As you well know, just because the law considers young adults as adults, their brains are still growing and developing. Hell, I still keep tabs on Thing1 and Thing2 via conversations and questions and they will be 21 soon.
As for ASS, he doesn't realize any of those things. He thinks that he is so special that he will succeed without them. When I say that this kid has the ego the size of a Mastodon, I am not kidding. ASS says he will get a job close to Frank's house - Frank lives near a very large intersection with every kind of store, shop, gas station, movie theater known to man - and ride his bike.
ASS is the only kid I know who didn't foam at the mouth to get a license. For ASS, it was/is all about needing DH to drive with him for the requisite number of hours. He WILL NOT ask DH for that. ASS cuts his nose off to spite his face all.the.time.
He is his mother's child.
Yeah - when dealing with ASS,
Yeah - when dealing with ASS, one does have to re-train the brain. LOL!!!
He lives in Bizarro World, but he is far from Superman or Jerry Seinfeld. When dealing with ASS, one needs to think or plan for the exact opposite of what the rest of the world considers normal
I am not sure what she knows.
I am not sure what she knows. Frank was at our house when PushGate occured, and DH took Frank home immediately after The Push Heard 'Round STalk, and he was supposed to stay another week. I don't remember what, if anything, DH told Frank's mom.
Likewise, I don't know what Frank told his mom. I assume he told her why he had to come home early, but have no way of knowing that.
I actually like Frank's mom.
I actually like Frank's mom. She is a very sweet woman who told us way back when that Medusa was a beast and she wouldn't let Frank go over there - lol! She also believes that the skids are better off with us (they are, unfortunately) and that Medusa is the devil.
Even with all that, I would never talk to her about a kid who isn't mine. Not my business.
DH will call Frank's mom this
DH will call Frank's mom this weekend to give her the heads on who ASS is these days.
Remember when ASS pushed me back in August, the day he lost said phone and computer? Frank was visiting us for the week. Frank had been with us for two days when ASS pushed me. DH loaded Frank up and took him back to FrankTown immediately after the incident.
What Frank told his mom about why he got sent home, we don't know. But I know Frank, and I assume that he told his mother the truth. If she wants to bring that into her house, more power to her.
Of course, ASS knows perfectly well how to behave, as he does it every day at school, at his grandparents' house, etc. I am sure he will be an angel for Frank's mom. It's only in our home where he acts like an ASS. And that's why he is no longer welcome here.
No house key. We have a key
No house key. We have a key code and will change the code. The kids come in through the garage - different code which will likely be changed.
DH will pay for ASS'S phone for one year.
His bedroom will return to my den/office the day after he moves out.
FrankTown is two hours away from ours. ASS doesn't have a driver's license. He won't be dropping in unexpectedly
hey, at least the room is
hey, at least the room is clean! that's a plus. i hope you gave your hubby some good lovin' for making that happen
hadnt @$$ friended the beastly hag on facebook? or am i not remembering right?
Yep - I handed DH a ginormous
Yep - I handed DH a ginormous bottle of Febreze I bought just for this occasion and told him to spray it liberally on ASS'S mattress, pillows, piles of dirty clothes and anything else he could think of.
He brought it back mostly empty - LOL!!!
I am going to rip up the laminate floor, lay a new one, repaint and refurnish
I did She friended him
I did
She friended him awhile back, but he unfriended her almost immediately. She has a new profile now, which I keep tabs on, but he doesn't use FB anymore...