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VALIDATION!!! AT LAST!!!!!

vgill's picture

DH's brother called last night to talk with DH (they are very close)anyway he wasn't home so his brother and I had a conversation and we got on the topic of Skids(he has SD16) he flat out told me to forget my skids they were a write off, and they weren't worth my time and to concentrate on my own children. He and his SD16 went through a rough time for a little while but things are good now, but what I am dealing with, and have been dealing with for 4 years, he said isn't going to change, these kids are no good and a waste of time to deal with. Now I have always treated these skids well and will continue to do so but I will no longer tolerate their disrespect towards me and DH, and I will flat out tell them how it will be!! But ohh!! it felt good for someone else to say that about these skids!!! They really are horrible!! Has anyone else had a member of the family tell you that their nephew/niece/other is just a F@cking brat or how horrible they are? I sure does feel good to know that their is family on my side!!!

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devilwoman's picture

Yes. MIL, FIL, SIL, BIL, and DHs aunt. Sad that so many people see the obvious, isn't it?

soverysad's picture

Its a good thing you and SO don't come to parties at my house with those kids. I will grab the hand of any child (over the age of 3) who puts his or her hand in my food. In my house (or at my events) all children are disciplined alike. My theory is - If you can't control your children don't bring them to my house unless you can deal with someone else my correcting their behavior. Inlaws don't really come to my house very often. That's really too bad (sarcasm)

"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!

soverysad's picture

delete

soverysad's picture

I was validated by both the pre-school and kindergarten teachers that SD5 is selfish, irresponsible, self-absorbed, and in general a bully. SIL and MIL validated her behavior when I was in the hospital for 5 weeks and they stayed with her for different periods of time. They couldn't believe how horrible she was. I heard all about they've never heard a little kid speak to adults the way she spoke to her father and them while they were here. UM HELLO- you never heard it before because she knows there will be consequences when I am around. Sadly, as soon as things got back to normal and I was stuck trying to get the little witch back under control after 5 weeks of her ruling the roost in my house, I was reprimanded by MIL for being too hard on the little princess. I basically had to tell MIL that it was her goddam fault the kid was so friggin' out of control and that if she made her stick to even a couple of the rules i had in my home, perhaps I wouldn't have to be over the top in trying to get her back to normal. Basically, my response to MIL was mind your own effing business. You don't live in my house. Needless to say, things are a little awkward around them now. They're going to like me even less the next time they come to my house and they find out there are new rules for them as well. If they have no qualms about criticizing what I do in MY OWN HOME, I will stop biting my tongue when they're treating my home like a trash barrel. good times!

"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!

Sara_Smile22's picture

Yes, actually BM tells DH that she is horrible and DH tells me that she is horrible. FIL chooses words like 'do you think she'll always be so backward?' and MIL just points out that DH has no ability to discipline her bratty behavior. What I take as silent validation though is that they don't judge me or say things to or about me no matter what she does or says. I had expected at our family dinner this year (last saturday) that we'd be at least asked what happened with her or where she was...and I'd get the looks and questions that would tick me off...but I didn't. Nobody even asked where she was...the day went as though she didn't even exist really...so even though nobody came and said it, I took it as they didn't blame me.

Good for you though...nice Christmas gift he gave you. It's too bad that we can't value our own opinions and instincts so much though...