F*#@ing little brat!!! I want him out!!!!
We have been having a couple of good but stressfull weeks, we have a combined family with 6 kids, 3 are mine, 2 are his and 1 is ours, and we just opened a new business, and it is a very busy time of year for us(were butchers)I did not need to deal with this!!! My SS 12 came to the shop after band practice, and I was teaching my son 7 how to skin a deer and my ss was jelous because he wanted to skin the deer because he wants money, and I said that he was not the only member of this family who works here and he has to take turns and share (something he does not do well,very selfish), he got attitude with me!! he said " you just don't get it do you, this is what I am supposed to do" I said "you have to learn to share and not everything is about you". He said " you just don't get it do you"( said with the worst attitude) I said " you better lose the attitude or you can go sit in the truck untill it is time to go home". So he went complaining to his father who repeated what I had said and SS just threw a fit!!! He was saying anything he could to be hurtfull and then kicked the front door to the shop and broke out the plate glass window!!!!!!
Now my Dh is sleeping at the shop after trying to fix the door untill tommorrow, he doesn't want anyone to break in!!We called the guys who fix glass doors it is going to cost us $600 just to replace the glass, not including taxes, or labour!!! I could just scream!!! there goes 2 weeks worth of our hard work because someone wants to be a F*@#ing Brat!! He has been nothing but trouble almost since the first day I met him 4+ years ago, and I have been tolerant and loving towards him and I even make special effort to do things for him that I know he would like, just like I do for the rest of my children, and he is such an ungrateful bastard!!!! he is sooo like his BM, I want her to come and get him!!! I don't think I can take 5 more years of his f*@#ing attitude and mouth. I have had it!! and I think DH has had it too!!!!
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Could DH get him counseling?
Could DH get him counseling? I think part of the attitude can be explained by the fact that he's almost a teenager, but I also think he's angry.
He would just love
He would just love councelling he would have some one all to himself to tell lies to!!! He lies about everything, all he wants is attention, and he gets alot! he just gets so jelous if anyone poays attention to anyone other than him!! It is always all about him, and this is not the first time he has done something like this!!! He has broken 4 windows out of our house the glass in the garden doors ripped curtains off the windows broke the microwave nad destroyed the other kids things and he has also done things to try to get the other kids in trouble so he can be the good boy!! by telling on them!! for something he has done!!!
He is soo frustrating his father almost lost it tonight, He said I have never beaten a child in my life but I sure feel like doing it!!! The boy will not learn, Part of this is his BM fault!! everytime Dh disciplines this child he goes crying to BM on the phone and she tells him Dh is just picking on him and that she would never do anything like that and that Dh is unfair and that he doesn't have to do what GH says!!!!! I want him to go live with Bm and maybe she can deal with what she has created!! And yes I understand that teenagers are angry people, but most do not beat up on 4 year olds when they don't get their way!!! I am just soo tired of being treated like shit!! I don't want him around influencing the rest of the children in this house!!
A good counselor will not
A good counselor will not only talk to the child they're counseling, but his/her parents (including steps) and possibly their siblings, too. After getting to know the SDs and DH, the SDs therapist brought me in to talk occasionally too, so she could hear my side of the story. A good, seasoned therapist can also catch anyone, adult or child, in their lies.
If he's destroying things, it sounds like he has a lot of pent-up anger in him. I don't know what BM has subjected him to. He needs some intense therapy, and possibly a trip to juvie if he breaks anyone else's things again.
The boy has already cost us
The boy has already cost us over $2000 in repair bills not to mention what his brother did to the new 4 wheeler that Dh baught for all the kids to share! SS14 destroyed the 4 wheeler in just 12 days, it was brand new, and we cannot afford the $1000 in repairs as we are fixing windows and doors all the time not nto mention the holes in the wall, and the household electronics they have destroyed, but SS14 now lives with his BM for almost a year now, and even DH admits it is alot nicer now that he is not here, and he has cared for these boys since they were in diapers!!
He is not quite ready for
He is not quite ready for juvie yet, but his brother almost had to go!! This boy when he wants something can be the sweetest good natured boy you have ever met, so I know that this is just temper and Although I am not a proffesional therepist, I did study psycology in university and I am the oldest of 7 children and have long been involved with youth programs and I am a great (not perfect) mother to ALL of my children. I see his anger as a jelousy that his father may love someone other than him, He is extreamly selfish!! I worried that he may feel like his is losing his father to some woman and her children and we have let him know that love doesn't divide but multiplies with the amount of people you love and that Dad's love will be there always and forever!! But he just lives on attention! everybodies attention not just Dad's or mine but whoever is around. It is unnatural!! I have a 7 month old baby who doesn't require as much attention as he does!! I have considered therepy but that would just be giving in to him and his need to feel more special than anyone else in this family and that he can have whatever he wants and that he has us wrapped around his fingers!! He is a very intellegant boy!! but he uses his smarts to manipulate people, even teachers at school.but especially his BM(but she is soo stupid it wouldn't take much) he is constantly trying to get his own way!! there needs to be and end to this, he causes too much conflict in this house!!! And his bad behavior is rubbing off on the other kids!!
I know you do not want to
I know you do not want to consider therapy, but I think you need to. I think it would be a grave disservice to him if DH did not get him therapy. As I said, a good therapist can and will catch someone in their lies and work with them to get to the real root of the problem. It sounds like he has anger issues that only an experienced professional can solve. If the therapist is good, he or she will ask to see DH, and hopefully you too, so he or she can hear your side of the story. Or, you could consider family counseling for all of you as a group.
The big problem is that he
The big problem is that he has been disciplined his whole life, he got the occaisional swat when needed. But now, what do you do? the last time I slapped his face it was last winter for his bad mouth, I don't remember what he said but it wasn't good, then he turned around and pushed me on the floor, and I was 6 months pregnant at the time!!!! His older brother is the same way. I had to take ss14 off of his brother during a fight that got out of control and told him to leave him alone, he tried to push me down the stairs. These boys can be very good boys when they want to be, but their anger and violence and especially their cruel mouths have got to go! I believe that most of this comes from their BM, because that is exactly how she acts!!! I am at a loss I don't know what to do anymore!!!!!
Perhaps he could use
Perhaps he could use councelling!! I just don't want to deal with him anymore!! I want his BM to take him she is off of work all winter, she has time to take him to a councelor, we have our own business and we work all of the time, the kids come to work with us and are happy to do so,except him!! He has such a problem wanting attention, that if I am on the phone he needs to talk to me, or If I am with a customer he needs to talk to me and interuupts. If I talk to the other kids he needs my attention. But when I talk to him he just gives me attitude and lies... what do I do with that!!??
I'd make the little turd
I'd make the little turd work it off. For the next 2 years if necessary. Tell him he earns the going minimum wage and he can sweep, clean and so on until he pays for the window.
Ugh, it's too bad kids like that don't just walk into bear traps and get lost.
Ugh, now that is not
Ugh, now that is not something that you should have to deal with. If BM created it I'd send it there. You need to protect the 4 yr old and your possessions. Not acceptable.